Outing Frequency 4 Those with kids

[gulfsidebo]

I was just wondering for those folks out there with little kids, how often do you get out to play and how do you properly feed your desire to do so (and practice) when you can't? Has golf created a rift in your family life?

[golfchief]

How old do you mean little kids? it's a family choice to make the time.

[gulfsidebo]

3 and 5. I can't with a good conscience go out more than once a month. I need to be there for my children. When I do go out, I try to go out at 7am in order to have minimal impact on my family's lives.

[MPS67]

I recently met a couple that told me of their idea on getting out once per week. They hire a nanny to watch over the kids every Wednesday. The nanny picks up the kids (ages 3, 6, & 8) from school, cooks a meal, makes sure they finish any homework if necessary, and puts them to bed. Meanwhile, the parents can play nine holes after work, enjoy dinner at a nice restaurant, and even go to a show or movie afterwards. Kind of like a date night.

They don't feel guilty about this because then they can both focus on spending the entire weekend with the kids.

[gulfsidebo]

that's an interesting idea, but i don't think we could afford that. my wife doesn't play and had no desire to do so. i'm trying to influence my girls and maybe/hopefully one of them will take a liking to golf and we can go out together in the future when they are a bit older. then, it will be daddy/daughter time and not just daddy going out golfing.

[MPS67]

Gulfsidebo, you could meet up with your wife after nine holes. If you could find a reliable babysitter, it'd only cost you no more than $30 a night plus whatever you guys did that evening.

[Elvisliveson]

Once a week tops. I don't go to the range, but a can swing any club in my living room, which I do for a half an hour every other night. I rely on my golfing past and knowledge of the fundamentals to keep my game manageable. I usually play Saturdays before 8:00 AM. If I get invited to a business outing during the week, that's a bonus.

[Rynofskie]

My first is on the way, the wife is due on November 12th, so we'll have to wait and see. We know it's a boy........I only play golf about 3 to 4 times per month, and usually the driving range once or twice.

[gulfsidebo]

Congratulations! Are you ready for the ride?

[Rynofskie]

Well, I hope so! Everyone told me getting married would be hard, and so far it's been a breeze....so hopefully fatherhood turns out to be just as enjoyable!

[gulfsidebo]

It will be enjoyable, but unlike anything you have ever experienced before. Patience is a virtue I used to have and I am trying to reclaim it. You'll be tired for a long time, but the rewards are endless!

[ClintonM3]

My wife is due on October 24th. He is our first. I hope they will have better and more affordable simulators soon, so I can play at home.

[niblick]

Mine are 2 and 5. I practice almost daily on my lunch break, but weekend rounds come twice a month tops. And like you, I try to do it early.

The only exception to this is when I can schedule a round for business and do it during work hours. This is also nice because then I can expense it.

[TourSpoon]

When my kids were in that 6-10 year old range I stopped playing because golf became less important to me. I had a hard time justifying missing something in their lives, something that I know I would regret and it was getting harder and harder to get out. I started exercising more because that was something that could be done more conveniently and did not take up so much time. I recently returned after a 5 year lay-off and I am playing once a week and practicing once a week on days when they do not have sports. Occasionally I may sneak out to the range on a Sunday, especially if the kids want to go.

Now some may think I could never go that long, but I did. I realized that golf would be there when I was ready. And now I am ready! Boy, am I ready!

[NM Golf]

Wow I must be the bad dad of the bunch. I have a 15 & 3 year old. I hit balls every day and play about 75-90 rounds a year. My dad did the same and so did my grandfather. I had a very close relationship with my grandfather, and continue to have a good relationship with my my dad. I just always knew they played in the morning and so it was a normal routine. I play a great deal of golf, I have a job that affords me a great deal of time so I do not feel guilty. My kids know I play a lot, but they also know that when I come home its our time.

I play and practice 90% of the time before noon, and I take them with me when I can and they feed the ducks or take a cart for a spin (I work at the course) so they don't mind going and sometimes even ask to go. Plus my 15 year old is walking around in $175 Oakleys I bought for her using the gift certificate I won in the Club Championship.

My "obsession" does cause the occasional rift in my marriage but my wife has learned, and is still learning, that its me and I am not changing.

Anyway, my family has not slowed my game at all, I just make sure I make time for both.

[iacas]

Wow I must be the bad dad of the bunch. I have a 15 & 3 year old. I hit balls every day and play about 75-90 rounds a year. My dad did the same and so did my grandfather. I had a very close relationship with my grandfather, and continue to have a good relationship with my my dad.

A child psychologist family friend told me that it's not the amount of time you spend with a kid, per se, but the quality of the time you do spend with them.

Now obviously that doesn't mean you can spend only 15 great minutes a week with them, but the point has merit. Anyway, since I'm a consultant and work for myself, I kind of have it set up where 9-5 every day is "my time." If I do my work and have time to play golf, I can do so 9-5 guilt-free. So I do that frequently. Sometimes I trade time so I can play on a weekend or the evenings. I probably play/practice 4 times per week over the summer or so. I happen to think that spending both quality and quantity time (together) is the best thing. But I also sometimes take some "me time" too, because if a parent is grumpy for some reason and can't put it aside while he's with his kid(s), it ain't gonna be very good "quality" time anyway. It's a simple matter of priorities. So long as "family" is in your top three (mixed in with work, religion, recreation, education, etc.) or so, they should be allocated plenty of time... so long as #1 isn't gambling and #2 isn't drinking (or something).

[Guest]

I was just wondering for those folks out there with little kids, how often do you get out to play and how do you properly feed your desire to do so (and practice) when you can't? Has golf created a rift in your family life?

Good question. I just recently started playing again after about five years off. I'm not sure how much flexibility you have in your work schedule, but I'll come in early some days and work like 6am-3pm, which leaves time for nine holes after work and still gets me home in time to see the kids.

Now that my daughter is old enough (she's 7), I'll take her to the range on weekends and we'll split a bucket or two. She loves it. My boys are still a little young (4), though I did take one of them along one time as well. Otherwise I'll try to get out to hit a bucket now and then during lunch hour, which doesn't interfere with the family life.

[golfjunkie]

I have played every friday afternoon since I was about 13. Been married for two years and our first child is 1 month old. I still play every friday when I get off of work and twice a month on sunday morning. My outlook at this point is if I wasn't on the course I would be working so what is the difference?? I have the flexability to play golf, work or spend time at home, when my daughter is older I may use my friday afternoons to pick her up from school and go to the park....but for now it is golf.



Jason