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Did you ever tell somebody to stop golfing?

kafka01

By kafka01,
in Golf Talk

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kafka01 Great Member

kafka01

I´m so close to it....

Here is the story. This girl plays for about 1 1/2 years now, 1-2 times a week, the last time even more often. You should see some kind of progress - but its just not happening, she is totally resistent to any improvement it almost seems. She hasnt played her inital hcp ever in this entire time (meaning shooting 63 on 9 holes), she is totally scared to play with other (unknown) people even if they are as bad as she is, she has no feeling for the ball whatsoever (today she was like 10m from the pin and she makes a full swing for a intended chip sending the ball like 20m over the green), and imo she has a completly wrong demeanor and attitude for this sport (she just doesnt seem to realize that when you have a bad shot there is nothing you can do about just look forward to your next challenge) and her "efficency" aka fastplay on the course - well - there is none.

I honestly believe - since there are no signs whatsoever that she will get better in the near future - that she is just not suitable for this sport and wont have much fun with it - trying getting better at it and always being frustrated by it if its not working out.

Burner 9°
FW Burner 15°
Burner Rescue 19°
MP67 4-PW
CG10 50° CG12 DSG 54° & 60°

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CG031 Great Member

CG031

Golf is meant for someone's personal enjoyment. If she sucks, but still enjoys playing, you can't tell her to stop playing.

Driver Ping G10 10.5*
Hybrids Ping G5 (3) 19* Bridgestone J36 (4) 22*
Irons Mizuno MP-57 5-PW
Wedges Srixon WG-504 52.08 Bridgestone WC Copper 56.13
Putter 33" Scotty Cameron Studio Select #2

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iPutt Dedicated Member

iPutt

Is she your girl friend? If so I would deffinatly not recommend it if you know what I mean lol.

l Bag l TaylorMade Stand Bag

l Driver l TaylorMade '07 Burner 9.5* l 3-Wood l Titleist 910F 15* (D1 shaft setting)

l Hybrids l TaylorMade '07 Burner 19* : TaylorMade '10 Rescue 22*

l Irons l TaylorMade r7 5-PW l Wedges l Titleist Bob Vokey 52* 56* 60*

l Putter l Scotty Cameron California Del Mar 34" l Balls l TaylorMade Penta TP

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kafka01 Great Member

kafka01

  • Author
Thankfully she isnt - that would make it really complicated.

CG - if she only would be in for the enjoyment - she wouldnt practice trying to get better - and after trying for over 1 1/2 years and no progress, there is not much more enjoyment left. Gambling is for enjoyment too - but you should know when to stop.

Burner 9°
FW Burner 15°
Burner Rescue 19°
MP67 4-PW
CG10 50° CG12 DSG 54° & 60°

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rangerat Established Member

rangerat

Don't play with her if it frustrates you so much. Suggest lessons, and I agree, if she is persistent she must like it to some degree so let her keep playing despite her limitations.

In the : Nike SQ Tour Bag

Driver: Speed Pro S Stiff 9.5*
3 Wood: Speed Pro X/ST Stiff 15*
Hybrid: Walter Hagen 21* Aldila NV Hybrid 85-S Shaft Irons: RAC LT2 4-Sand StiffWedge: Z TP 60* Putter: Rossa Lambeau Ball: TP Red Grips: Golf Pride Dual Durometer

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dave s Great Member

dave s

Maybe some of the 'basics' just haven't clicked in her brain yet. If she has 'no feel for the ball,' that says to me that she hasn't yet experienced the 'hit DOWN on ball, ball goes UP' theory with a club yet.

What I would do with this player is get her near a green, preferably with an upslope to the putting surface. Give her a sandwedge and practice swinging a chipping stroke while pounding the club into the turf to emphasise hitting DOWN on the ball.

Sneak a ball or two in front of her club and see if she can't pop a few sand wedges with ball flight and backspin. Honestly, as soon as my wife experienced this aspect of the game, the teaching and VAST improvement were immediate. She could not WAIT to learn more.

Because my wife learned that 'feel' of the ball around the green, when she really 'pinches' on off the fairway she'll say something like, 'boy, I really hit down and through that one!' More evidence that she 'gets it.'

I believe if you can get your player to experience that feeling with a sandwedge around the green, it may turn on the light for her. Give it a try.

dave

The ultimate "old man" setup:

Ping G30 driver
Ping G Fairway woods - 5 and 7 woods
Callaway X-Hot #5 hybrid; Old school secret weapon
Ping G #6-9 irons; W and U wedges
Vokey 54 and 58* Wedges
Odyssey Versa Putter
Golf Balls

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Vino707 Member

Vino707

Golf is meant for someone's personal enjoyment. If she sucks, but still enjoys playing, you can't tell her to stop playing.

I just started playing the game and have heard of many people quitting because it frustrated them so much. However, in each instance it was their own decision. If you tell her to quit and she doesn't want then her attitude will be ten times worse. If she frustrates you so much then you should just stop playing with her. The only thing you can control is yourself.

Driver:Ping Karsten-I
3-4 Wood:Ping Karsten-I
Hybrids:Alien Golf TI Matrix, Ginty Stan Thompson
5-P Irons:Alien Golf Tour Gold
Putter:Ping Karsten B60
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kafka01 Great Member

kafka01

  • Author
Maybe some of the 'basics' just haven't clicked in her brain yet. If she has 'no feel for the ball,' that says to me that she hasn't yet experienced the 'hit DOWN on ball, ball goes UP' theory with a club yet.

Nah - i´m not touching this topic, teaching somebody how to swing a golf club- that only can backfire big time. I might give her some tips & practice drills for putting & chipping, my pro gives me, but anything else - please take some lessons.

Honestly i thought i could help her, playing&practicing; with her, but it just feels like i´m wasting my time. Guess there is no easy way out.

Burner 9°
FW Burner 15°
Burner Rescue 19°
MP67 4-PW
CG10 50° CG12 DSG 54° & 60°

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iacas Hall of Fame Member

iacas

  • Administrator
Golf is meant for someone's personal enjoyment. If she sucks, but still enjoys playing, you can't tell her to stop playing.

Seriously. Ditto that.

Why the hell would you ever tell someone to stop golfing? Regardless of your age, grow up.

Erik J. Barzeski — ⛳ I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • Author, Lowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

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Q.Q.Quillume Great Member

Q.Q.Quillume

The other day in my Mon./Thur. golf league the "D" player on the team to which I was assigned shot 141 - and that counted many holes for which he took an ESC 8. (He was playing off 28 but I can't imagine how in the world he ever got an index that low .)

During the round he made two double bogeys with all of the other 16 holes being triple-bogeys or worse. Although he likely had some 10s or 12s, the scorekeeper put him down for a max of 8 (ESC) on any hole.

But, I digress. The commissioner told me this guy had played four times in the league and had yet to make a bogey or better - in 72 holes.

But, I surely did not tell him to quit and I seriously doubt anyone else did either - although it's very painful watching him try to play the great game of golf.
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tonyy Dedicated Member

tonyy

I would personally never tell anyone to stop golfing other than just to joke around.

My girlfriend has recently started and she's so determined to get better. Although she doesn't hit the furthest, or straightest, she still has a smile on her face. She's enjoying every minute of it and myself as well. So to answer the OP's original question:

If they're having fun, even though they're not good, there's no reason to tell them to stop.

On the other hand, I see guys so serious about golf and getting mad, swearing at every shank, or throwing their clubs around. To me, that's when they need to sit back and chill out for a bit. It's not bad to be serious about golf but when you're like that, no one wants to be around you. I'd rather be partnered with a bad player that's enjoying the game over a short tempered person that ruins it for everyone.

- Tour Issue Taylormade R7 Superquad TP Matrix Ozik Xcon 5 X-stiff
- Nike Dymo 3 Wood UST Axivcore Stiff
- Nike Dymo 5 Wood UST Axivcore Stiff- Nike Blades 3-PW S300- Nike SV Tour 50* 54* 58* S400- Titleist Scotty Cameron Newport Beach- Nike Tour D

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Eeryck Well Established Member

Eeryck

I had a discussion with my wife about a similar topic lately. Being a high handicapper I am doing everything I can to learn to play the game better, going to the practice range, reading books, contributing and reading forums, etc.

I told my wife that I did not understand how some people can go out week in and week out and play the same terrible golf game with no desire to learn more or get any better than with the bit of repetition of their bad habbits.

She mentioned that some people do things simply because they enjoy doing them. Even if they are only good at it. I could not understand this.

Recently I saw a management book that said Good is the enemy of Exelence. It became more clear to me why I did not understand unlike most I strive for exelence in the things I am willing to spend time on.

I suspect many on this forum also strive for exelence so settling for Good or what some may consider sufficient can be confusing.

In my Grom bag:

Driver........... Burner 9.5* S-Flex
3-Wood......... Burner 15* S-Flex
5-Wood......... Ovation 18* S-FlexIrons............. Pro Combos 3,5-PW Rifle 6.0Wedges......... CG12 52.10, 56.14, 60.10Putter............ 33" VP1 Milled PutterBall................ e6+ or B330-SRangefinder.....

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GaijinGolfer Super Member

GaijinGolfer

Its not really anyone's place to tell someone else to stop playing golf. If she wants to quit, she will.

Whats in my :sunmountain: C-130 cart bag?

Woods: :mizuno: JPX 850 9.5*, :mizuno: JPX 850 15*, :mizuno: JPX-850 19*, :mizuno: JPX Fli-Hi #4, :mizuno: JPX 800 Pro 5-PW, :mizuno: MP T-4 50-06, 54-09 58-10, :cleveland: Smart Square Blade and :bridgestone: B330-S

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Smallville Great Member

Smallville

It's not my place. I agree with so many of these posts, if they enjoy themselves and are having fun, why should they quit?
My Equipment:
Northwestern 3-, 5-, 7- and 9-wood;
Goldwin AVDP Irons (5-10 plus PW);
U.S. Golf 60 degree wedge;
See-More Putter; Bushnell Yardage Pro 1000 Rangefinder;Golflogix GPS.
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kafka01 Great Member

kafka01

  • Author
It's not my place. I agree with so many of these posts, if they enjoy themselves and are having fun, why should they quit?

- I play with a guy from our mens team on a regular basis. So i took her out with this really good player, and hoped she could learn something from it (i actually had to downplay his hcp else should wouldnt have played in the first place). She couldnt care less. At one point after topping the ball twice - she just drops her club, turns away from the ball and just stands there for 1/2 a minute - we look at each other and think, whats going on now???

- I tried to explain her a couple of times what efficent play means. She is a prime example for slow play. You dont lose that much time with the actual shot, but everything before and after just takes endless - multiply that by 130 and you get a 6hour round. - A couple days ago i tried to hook up with another twosome which i knew wasnt pretty good but the course was packed and i thought she might feel comfortable playing with them - she got all whiny that she does want to play as twosome and doesnt want to pair up, since she is too embarressed right now to play with others.... So dont get me wrong here - but as i posted before, its not just the lack of progress, but also the ignorance if etiquette/advice, which makes me think she is not very well fit for this game. But you guys are probably right, at one point she will realize it herself and just quit.

Burner 9°
FW Burner 15°
Burner Rescue 19°
MP67 4-PW
CG10 50° CG12 DSG 54° & 60°

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par3forme Member

par3forme

Golf is meant for someone's personal enjoyment. If she sucks, but still enjoys playing, you can't tell her to stop playing.

+1 on that

its a GAME, and a silly one at that so if we can't hit a 72 every round we should be barred from play? I always heard gold was a snobs game, I am finding out that is true the more I read this forum...
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Smallville Great Member

Smallville

I looked thru all of your posts in this thread, and unless I am missing something, you haven't said WHY you play with her in the first place, only that you do. If you don't HAVE to (like for league or something), why do you still? Can't you just stop playing with her and let her play without you?
My Equipment:
Northwestern 3-, 5-, 7- and 9-wood;
Goldwin AVDP Irons (5-10 plus PW);
U.S. Golf 60 degree wedge;
See-More Putter; Bushnell Yardage Pro 1000 Rangefinder;Golflogix GPS.
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bflat450 Well Established Member

bflat450

You can't tell someone to stop something when they're trying their best to improve. Also if she really enjoys it how could you tell someone to stop something they enjoy?

in the bag

Driver: 909D2 9.5° Oban Devotion Shaft

3 Wood: G10 15.5°
Hybrid: 3dx RC 20° Ironwood 

4-PW: MP-57's S300

Wedges: 51° MP-T Black Nickel ; 56° Vokey Spin Milled 

Putter: Tracy II 35" Iomic Grip 

Ball: Pro V1x

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