how do i not sound like a jackass

[mikelz]

  doublesuited77 said:

... ...

"Thank you but the fairway was probably a better option" works for me.

Those are positive waves - absorb them. Learning to laugh at yourself is a real relief as well.

[Q.Q.Quillume]

  sacm3bill said:

Like the original poster, I'm guilty of being annoyed when someone says "nice shot" just because I made good contact, even though it sliced into the trees or ended up in a bunker. I know I shouldn't be annoyed, because they're just trying to be nice/supportive. I have the same inclination to praise others' shots. But let this thread serve as a reminder that you should withhold compliments until you get an idea of A) where the ball is going to end up , or B) what kind of player the person is and what they consider to be a good vs bad shot.

Good comment!

Heck, I'm not even a good golfer (index @13) and I get it all the time. Balls that go into bunkers, into the rough, balls that come up ten yards short/right/left/over the green, downhill putts that end up six or eight feet past the hole (and, of course I knew were going way past the hole the instant my putter tapped the ball), bunker shots that barely make it out of the bunker and onto the edge of the green & etc. ad nauseam. I guess these guys/gals whose indexes run from 20.0 to 30.0+ base their comments to other golfers on their own game and their own expectations and, for some reason, don't stop to think that what might be a good shot for him or her isn't necessarily a good shot for someone who is substantially better than they are. So, when I play with someone better than myself (unless I've played with him/her enought to know his/her game pretty well) I'm very careful about issuing compliments on their shots, ususally limiting my comments to "nice birdie" or maybe a compliment on a shot that truly is outstanding, even for a scratch golfer.

[perlguy9]

  g-funk13 said:

Wonder what Tiger feels like when pros say "good shot" after something mediocre for him.

I bet he doesn't even hear them.

[PianoSteve]

I can't decide in reading this thread whether to laugh at it or feel depressed. I just hope I don't ever get paired up with most of the people posting in this thread for fear I'd accidentally say something nice and be thought of in the way promoted here.

As a very high 'capper, though, I can say that it goes both ways, and this is one reason I hate being paired up with strangers.

At my level of play, just about ANYONE I get paired up with is going to be better than me. So I have to endure the extremely condescending "nice shot" comments whenever I get the ball in the air. Little do they realize that I'm not playing even to my own potential because I'm intimidated by their playing.

Several weeks ago, my son and I were playing in Myrtle Beach on vacation, and got paired up with a married couple. I struggled the first four holes, but then on the 5th, my drive was center of the fairway, I hit the green in regulation and missed my par putt by about an inch.

What does the other guy do on the next tee? "You've found your groove now. Show us what you've got." I couldn't hit another shot clean the rest of the day. I wish he had just kept his mouth shut. Say "nice putt" on the hole previous, but don't say something on the next tee!!

So you guys are so good players. Congrats. We high 'cappers respect and admire the work you've done to get there. But the minute you start to act like you're "all that", I lose my respect. And it doesn't make guys like me feel very welcome to the game.

My vote? Say "thanks" and get over it. But you can bet after reading this thread that I'm going to be just pretending I don't even know my playing partners exist. That seems much safer than being thought stupid for trying to be nice.

[Big_M]

  rogerhuang said:

Here's an idea. Instead of worrying and complaining about people who are just being nice to you, how about learning about how not to hook a ball into a lake.

actually... I think this board is meant for a lot more than what you stated. You will notice that there are several different categories such as "marketplace", "travel", and "golf talk". That is so people can discuss and share all aspects of the game... if a thread doesn't seem interesting to you, don't read it . To answer the question... I just say "actually I was hoping for a much closer putt" or "I really wanted to stay away from that hill as it is a tough up and down" or "thanks, but I should have done better" eventually I would think people would get the hint if you correct them enough times... and I don't necessarily think you would come off as a jackass to politely comment that you expect more from your shots.

[perlguy9]

Nice post!

[mikelz]

  DHarris75 said:

...This lady just won't shut up. So she learns that I am new to this game - so she starts trying to tell me what I'm doing wrong. ...

ASK anybody that does that to please leave you alone.

It's none of their business but you can tell them you already have a teacher and want to concentrate on that.

  None said:

...She probably thinks she was being nice and "helping me out".

Or she could just be like one of those guys who gives everybody lessons on the course, i. e., an obnoxious know it all.

It's rude and insulting to hand out unsolicited advice. That's etiquette a level beyond golf. Back on topic: Unsolicited compliments indicate something else. It is also etiquette beyond golf but the good kind. I'm waiting at a crosswalk with you. During small talk I say I like your suit. You pulled it out of the back of the closet and it's not your favorite but it's seviceable and Navy (my favorite suit color). Am I now a "tasteless idiot who doesn't understand that you have a closet full of Armani but they are all at the cleaners." I don't understand all of you complaining about compliments that are (in your eye) undeserved. Who do you all think you are? Moe Norman or some crap? You and I aren't that good or we wouldn't be doing this. My golf mantra: "I'm not good enough to get mad."

[srjorion]

Here’s the solution when you notice that you get the “nice shot” comment after every shot. After you hit a shot and see it’s going to be a good one, immediately cry out “What the………..STUPID BALL”. Then raise your club over your head like you are going to slam it into the ground like you are chopping a log. Make a loud war cry when you do this. Cussing while you do this also adds kick. Don’t slam the club to the ground though. Instead, let the shaft slide through one hand just so you can reach the head of the club, and then grab it at the hosel aggressively like you are going to choke the club. Then walk to your bag berating your club, telling it how stupid it is, how you bought it, and that if it doesn’t straighten up you are going to throw it into a lake. Really shaking the club will also help. I bet they stop saying it after that.

Or, you could just accept the fact that you are a better golfer than they are. While you do not like your shot, they would probably be very happy with it considering their skill level. It’s tough to do, but it’s part of the mental game. Me, I’d be happy to hear those comments after all of my shots.
I am kidding about the first part of this post of course

[rogerhuang]

LOL! The sarcasm in the first part of your post was great! Had me going there for a sec!

Of course, I agree with your second part much more than the first!

  srjorion said:

Here’s the solution when you notice that you get the “nice shot” comment after every shot. After you hit a shot and see it’s going to be a good one, immediately cry out “What the………..STUPID BALL”. Then raise your club over your head like you are going to slam it into the ground like you are chopping a log. Make a loud war cry when you do this. Cussing while you do this also adds kick. Don’t slam the club to the ground though. Instead, let the shaft slide through one hand just so you can reach the head of the club, and then grab it at the hosel aggressively like you are going to choke the club. Then walk to your bag berating your club, telling it how stupid it is, how you bought it, and that if it doesn’t straighten up you are going to throw it into a lake. Really shaking the club will also help. I bet they stop saying it after that.

[ITgolfHack]

srjorions post was fantastic.

I'm lucky enough to play pool at a fairly high level and I know what your going through. It's a matter of being good enough to know how bad you really are and yea, the hero worship from those who don't really understand the game does get old really quick. It's the gaping in wonder when you screw up bad enough for them to know it that really gets to me.

If you wanted to be kind of a sarcastic ass, you could tell them that if you were as good as they think you are, you would be on TV .

[krb]

  doublesuited77 said:

After every time I made solid contact with the ball (which is pretty much every time). They always say "great shot" regardless of where the ball goes. I know you are saying "no big deal, whatever." However, after you hook a ball into a lake, someone saying "nice shot" really gets at you.

I remember once when playing with my dad when I was quite young, he hit a tee shot across a lake (maybe a 100 yd carry to the fairway). He sculled it and the ball skipped across the lake and landed in the fairway.

I was stunned that he was ticked off, 'cause that was the coolest shot I'd ever seen! Lots of crummy shots by a low handicapper look like great shots to a high handicapper.