The game I so love is getting on my nerves

[rckwd]

Hello everyone, I am new to the board but not the game. Maybe if I was new to the game I wouldnt have the problem I now have.

You see I am 41 yr old and started playing in grade school thru college. I am/was a 16 handicap. Then I got married and stopped playing. I maybe played 3 times in 15 years; until this year when an old college mate come back into the picture. Now I cant stay off the course. But that isnt the problem. The problem is I still have the same hunger and drive to get to the course everyday but I dont enjoy myself like I used to in college. Used to...I was young and competetive but was able to brush off bad play alot faster than today. Now if I struggle on the course, I come home to the mat and net and hit ball after ball trying to work out my problem (which usually doesnt happen). Usually, only after I give it a few days the problem works itself out. But today, as a 41 yr old it consumes my life. If I play bad, I sulk. I put my clubs away and dont want to see or hear about golf for a few days. Then I go back out and usually have a good outing. Only when I try to start "working" on improving is when I start to get frustrated. Before I was just having fun. Now it seems the fun has gone out and the stress from the constant competition with my buddies have taken over.

Anyone with any suggestions?

[heyscuba]

Anyone with any suggestions?[/QUOTE]


Zanax ?

Just kidding,... Try Fuzzy's plan,... whistle while you play,... (well while your walking at least) as if your just taking a walk in the park,... expect to miss most of your putts. (cause you will anyway, so do the pro's) then when you make one it's like a gift,...
Don't let this great game for any reason get you down,... it's just to much fun, and should be.
Last year during a fairly good round I got to a par 3 on the back 9, I was about 3 strokes up on my buddy who I haven't beaten in a while and I hit 3 balls in a row O.B. (I was playing a draw that wasn't drawing)
I casually tee'd up my next shot (# 7 from the tee ) and put it on and 2 putted for a 9, I looked at my buddy and said,... "it's a beautiful day out here,..." and we went on,...
My friend who beat me that day has 2 handicapped children at home,... I'll be darned if I let a thing like golf get me upset anymore.

[Lemay427]

Its stress related. I go and play every round like I am playing in the final round of a major lol!!!! If I hit a bad shot I get pissed. I have been trying to curb these emotions and learn how to transfer that energy I use to get mad into positive energy that will prepare me for the next shot. I think having a mental coach, like a sports psychologist, is what every golfer needs if they cant handle the game with their mindset.

[dave s]

Let's see ... I'll be 48 Sunday and shoot better scores now than at any point in my life. My hdcp isn't low, but shooting 85 or 86 means I sandwiched some pretty good holes around the bogies and doubles. And the enjoyment factor is higher now than ever.

The guys I play with are total cutups. I can roll one off the tee in complete silence and can hit a bomb with one guy telling a joke and beer squirting out the noses of two others. Golf is definitely something 'fun' for me and for the guys I play with. If golf ceases to be fun (as a general rule) I'll hang 'em up.

Here's an example: Last league round about a month ago I was -1 after 5 holes. Finish the round triple on 6, bogey on 7, double on 8 and birdied 9. Two freaking birdies in one round what I remember. Both birdies were good for skin money--a whopping $22 total!!! Carded 41 which was also something to be proud of, for me anyway! Bought beers for the guys in my group with the winnings.

That, my friend, was FUN and what golf is supposed to be. We're not pros. We don't rely on our play to put food on the table or pay bills.

Give it a bit of attitude adjustment and see if you have the ability to make it fun. If not, give it up. Lord knows we all have enough stress in our lives with family, jobs, finances, etc. Look to golf for an escape from the grind of daily life. And most of all, shooting 93 isn't CLOSE to a big deal when you consider the things that ARE a big deal in your life.

All the best,

dave

[tjy355]

Anyone with any suggestions?

For me, it was the realization that I am mid-handicap which means I AM GOING TO HIT SOME BAD SHOTS, every round.

I'm not good enough to get overly mad or frustrated when I hit a bad shot.

[alf174]

Hello everyone, I am new to the board but not the game. Maybe if I was new to the game I wouldnt have the problem I now have.

Get some new buddies.

No, I know, that's not the answer, but I try to laugh at every bad shot to release any tension from paying terribly. Its water over the dam and I can't replay it.

[Fat Slice]

Well, since you asked, you're going to get my response.

Golf joys and frustrations, and our reactions to them, mirror our lives. Your frustration now (as opposed to college) with a bad day has to do with your frustration at your lack of control of the outcome of your efforts. The problem isn't your golf game or your reaction to your golf game - I'd bet you have a problem with a perceived lack of control in your life. That frustration just spills over to the microcosm of golf when you can't get the club to do what you want it to do.

I'm not being a smartass, and it's just a guess, and the advice is worth what you are paying for it. That said, I'd consider talking to a therapist to see what underlying issues might be creating this reaction now, as opposed to the more joyful rounds of golf in your earlier years.

[Grogger31]

I'm not good enough to get overly mad or frustrated when I hit a bad shot.

Well said. In fact, I tell myself that all the time. I used to get really pissed on the course, but reminding myself that I don't play enough and am not good enough to let some poor play ruin my leisure time really helped that. Not only that, it helped my game improve a bit.

Now, other sports that I'm much better at .... that's a WHOLE different story. My expectations are much higher, so frustration comes easier.

[rckwd]

I am so greatful for the thoughtful replys. Yes, I do need to re-evaluate why I am playing now and just sit back and enjoy it. And yes..LOL..I may need to get new "golfing" buddies (I hope they dont read this..LOL). Thanks alot guys... yall have been a big help and I sincerly appreciate it

[heyscuba]

Its stress related. I go and play every round like I am playing in the final round of a major lol!!!! If I hit a bad shot I get pissed. I have been trying to curb these emotions and learn how to transfer that energy I use to get mad into positive energy that will prepare me for the next shot. I think having a mental coach, like a sports psychologist, is what every golfer needs if they cant handle the game with their mindset.

the way I started to look at situations like your is,...

If I'm playing bad, that's one bad thing about that day,... If I'm then a jerk (even if it's just to myself) or a mad, pissed off dude well now I got 2 bad things going on that day,... So, don't double up on bad stuff in your day,.. Try to have fun with it,... I did after a long strech of bad golf,... Now I play better and it's fun too,... You will get in your opponents head too,... "Why's he so happy,... he's palying like crap,..." Unless golf is your job and you're about to lose your playing priviledges, I just don't see the reason to let it get you down so much,...

[rckwd]

the way I started to look at situations like your is,...

You now...when I am playing with myself I have alot better time. For instance...I was playing at Victoria Bryant which is a very hilly/forest couse. On that day I couldnt stay out of the trees. I wasnt hitting the ball that bad but I just seem to be fading everyting that day. There was this guy playing behind me..(I was walking the course). He wanted to play thru. Of course I motioned him on and he made the suggestion I was having a bad day.....(you have to understand in Georgia, in summer its like 100 degrees and 200 percent humitiy) I said "no I just like playing in the shade". Thats the kind of attitude I carry with me when I am alone. And the kind of attitude I used to have playing in my younger days. I just wish I could find it now.