Dear Mr. Golfer

[threedolphins]

Dear Mr. Golfer,

I know you may not remember me, but I was the guy who played behind you today. I was so compelled to write you a letter, since it appears you wish to qualify for the PGA Tour sometime soon and I wish to mark my place in history as it is marked within yours.

I found it genius that you insisted on playing 2 balls from the back tees. And, I just found it so wildly innovative that you purposely hooked and/or sliced your drives into the woods or adjacent fairway 140-170 yards out. Clearly you were doing this on purpose, so as to learn how to execute rescue shots from twigs, leaves, snakes, etc under extreme stress. Something you will no doubt need to do whilst on tour! I also was so amazed that you decided to take 4-5, sometimes 7 practice swings before striking the ball. I think it is quite amazing that someone so talented such as yourself has decided to only take a shot when it 'feels just right.' This is something I need to learn as well.

Most of all though, I wanted to thank you for your focus. Thanks so much for not letting me, nor the two guys who joined me because they got backed up through. You just showed that you were so focused, you wouldn't let anyone ruin your round, which is one of many stepping stones towards your place on the tour. It hurt my feelings at first when I asked (nicely I thought) at the water fountain if we could play through and you replied:

'but there is just me, and there are 3 of you.'

I now see what you were trying to do, you didn't want us to ruin your focus, you had such an incredible rhythm going that you couldn't let anything break that up! In fact you must of been practicing to ruin our focus instead, a great counter tactic that will surely come into play for you when up against the likes of Tiger Woods. I respect that, and in an odd way, thanks for that too, it worked pretty decently. And even though our threesome was striking the ball pretty well, moving fast and scoring, its pretty clear that we just didn't understand the level of golf you were playing. Clearly we are mere amateurs, and you are on 'tour pace.'

So with that I hope maybe I get your attention. I never caught your name, but you were a younger(ish) Korean guy wearing what appeared to be black capris (can you say new tour fashion?). I hope that because of this letter, marking this moment in history as yours is marked as well, you can perhaps send me and those two guys tickets to Augusta. Once again thank you.

Your newest fan now, but a future fan forever.
Regards,
Mr. Three Dolphins.

[Cussin hacker]

Hey.... I think I've been behind that PRO myself. LOL Good humor is the best way to handle I'd say. Although I get a little cranky behind pro types.

[wsjer88]

That was funny haha. If i was behind someone like that I would be pretty upset though.

[threedolphins]

  wsjer88 said:

That was funny haha. If i was behind someone like that I would be pretty upset though.

Honestly, I was...especially when I saw him marking his ball on the green and lining up the 'alignement aid' each and everytime. I wanted to rip my face off.

But thats golf I guess.

[Shindig]

Fantastic post.

  threedolphins said:

'but there is just me, and there are 3 of you.'

It's not how many, it's how long. That is, it doesn't matter how many are in your group that should determine this, but how long you are taking.

[threedolphins]

  Shindig said:

Fantastic post.

I didn't tell you guys the other part of the story, I said just that, I said 'we are playing fast' he said 'me too' and gave me a defensive look...

i was just like WOW! What a jerk. One of the guys that I was playing with was like 'hey man, just let him go on.' I'm happy he was smart enough to calm me down...I had heavy objects in my hands affixed to sticks... I'll go out tomorrow AM, and hope for a smoother round. Golf...so many things that have nothing to do with hitting that stupid ball.

[Fat Slice]

I play some courses where playing 2 balls gets you kicked off.

[Dub]

  threedolphins said:

I didn't tell you guys the other part of the story, I said just that, I said 'we are playing fast' he said 'me too' and gave me a defensive look...

So true.

I'm laughing just thinking about this capri pants wearing pro, 3-jacking it on every tee. I just don't have the paitence for this stuff anymore. I'd have simply asked to play through or I'd advanced to the next tee. I'm getting worse the older I get. 5 hour rounds just drive me nuts. I would've melted down watching him align everything just so prior to each putt. I wonder if he sanded in all his extra divots....or repaired the ball marks he made on the green, assuming of course, that he hit any greens. That's the kind of stuff new golfers need to focus on, covering their tracks, not all the bs they see the tour guys do. The tour guys have caddies who are working their tails off in the background to repair/improve the course. Why don't more golfers do this. Drives me nuts.

[Dave H]

  threedolphins said:

Dear Mr. Golfer,

Hilarious! Sort of.

Sounds exactly like my round on Monday. Mr. Yellow Shirt in a threesome backed the entire course up. Typical tee shot routine: stand on tee waiting until we finish previous hole (no one in front). Line up shot for 2-3 minutes. Take practice swings behind ball. Re-line shot up. Take practice swings again. Stand over ball for one minute. Swing!!! and another worm burner 30 yds ahead. This was every shot including putts. Only with putts he needed to check the break from every angle, on each one of his typical 3 putts per hole!!! Yikes.

[rwfastrax]

reminds me of my round this past Sunday. My girlfriend is very new to the game but I've showed her proper etiquette and how to play efficiently but not rush...we got behind a foursome on Sunday that was horrid. All over the course with tons of open holes ahead of them and they wouldn't invite us to play through. I can't ask..if I did and was told no...I'd be REALLY po'd. Anyway we wait 5 minutes for every shot on the front nine...and heading to 10 (from the snack bar of course) I could swear they ran to the tee so they could stay ahead of us...I told my GF $#@! this and we went straight to #11. Smooth sailing for awhile...eventually they were at the hole opposite our tree line and of course were playing shots from our fairway so there I was...ahead of them..but STILL waiting on them. And to top that off....HE HIT TWO BALLS!. Had a great round anyway.

[Rob]

You`re lucky you got out alive!!!! He could have contacted " Grand Master", and you could have been Kung Fu`d to death,albeit he was Korean.Watch your step!Perhaps he was on a "journey"?

[wedge player]

Lmao that was great

[Spackler-esque]

That's right up there with the guy I ran into down in Texas.

Speeds up past a walking twosome (they were pretty good and playing pretty fast) in his cart and catches me and my uncle on a par 3. Stands on the tee-box staring at us, I putt out, my uncle waves him to hit up before holing out... well, the guy pulls it 30 yards dead left into someone's yard. Speeds past us to the next tee box ignoring his shot. The tee box was maybe 75 yards away and the ass didn't even acknowledge/thank us for letting him through. Proceeds to push his drive 45 degrees right as we're watching. Almost helicopters his driver into his cart, just flinging it slightly into the ground (twice) instead, before hopping in his cart and hauling ass off the course into the surrounding neighborhood. Oh yeah, this was on about number 12. And he was maybe 25, probably younger. What a schmuck.

[flanagan]

  Rob said:

You`re lucky you got out alive!!!! He could have contacted " Grand Master", and you could have been Kung Fu`d to death,albeit he was Korean.Watch your step!Perhaps he was on a "journey"?

Strangely, I read the original post, which I enjoyed a lot having just suffered through an agonizing slow play experience yesterday, but wondered why the unnecessary reference to the fact the person in question may have been Korean, thinking probably no big deal, biting my tongue, then I get to this idiotic nonsense and know why I questioned that. It's not that the originator of this thread probably meant anything by it at all and I'm sure he didn't, but really, what difference did it make what his nationality was? If the guy had been Caucasian it likely would not have been pointed out. All it does is give people less intelligent a chance to pop off. By the way Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art, I'm pretty sure, not that it matters all that much.

[threedolphins]

  flanagan said:

Strangely, I read the original post, which I enjoyed a lot having just suffered through an agonizing slow play experience yesterday, but wondered why the unnecessary reference to the fact the person in question may have been Korean, thinking probably no big deal, biting my tongue, then I get to this idiotic nonsense and know why I questioned that. It's not that the originator of this thread probably meant anything by it at all and I'm sure he didn't, but really, what difference did it make what his nationality was? If the guy had been Caucasian it likely would not have been pointed out. All it does is give people less intelligent a chance to pop off. By the way Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art, I'm pretty sure, not that it matters all that much.

Well no, I didn't mean anything by it at all, and yes, if he were a Caucasian guy that is what I would have referred to him as. I wrote the post as a sarcastic open letter. And in that fashion, the letter states I didn't know what this dudes name was, so I described his appearance so he'd know I was talking specifically to him.

I guess I could've said the guy with black hair, round face and olive skin, but that doesn't quite sound right does it?

[flanagan]

  threedolphins said:

Well no, I didn't mean anything by it at all, and yes, if he were a Caucasian guy that is what I would have referred to him as. I wrote the post as a sarcastic open letter. And in that fashion, the letter states I didn't know what this dudes name was, so I described his appearance so he'd know I was talking specifically to him.

I think identifying the course, location and time you were playing would have narrowed things down a bit more than pretty much anywhere in America, so I'm not thinking the person in question would have a clue you were talking about him, anyway. (I am assuming he's on the forum because that's a given, if he plays golf!)

How do you know he is Korean? Anyway, I take you at your word, and don't question your intentions or character at all, just have a difference of opinion. Again, I enjoyed it, just observing that despite our best intentions, people of less good will and maturity/intelligence will find a way to take something innocent and turn it into something stupid, as did "young grasshopper" above.

[threedolphins]

  rwfastrax said:

reminds me of my round this past Sunday. My girlfriend is very new to the game but I've showed her proper etiquette and how to play efficiently but not rush...we got behind a foursome on Sunday that was horrid. All over the course with tons of open holes ahead of them and they wouldn't invite us to play through. I can't ask..if I did and was told no...I'd be REALLY po'd. Anyway we wait 5 minutes for every shot on the front nine...and heading to 10 (from the snack bar of course) I could swear they ran to the tee so they could stay ahead of us...I told my GF $#@! this and we went straight to #11. Smooth sailing for awhile...eventually they were at the hole opposite our tree line and of course were playing shots from our fairway so there I was...ahead of them..but STILL waiting on them. And to top that off....HE HIT TWO BALLS!. Had a great round anyway.

Man, that's the word, efficient! I've seen guys/girls spray the ball every which way but straight, but they don't hold anyone up, the find their ball and hit the next shot and move on.

When I played with my gf, I think she didn't have the patience to save bad shots, so she'd just kick the ball into the fairway...so she'd play extra fast actually, and really really fast when she'd get fed up and stop playing all together and give me dirty looks. (jk sort of) You should be very thankful your significant other wants to take the time to learn the game. That is way cool.

[threedolphins]

  Spackler-esque said:

That's right up there with the guy I ran into down in Texas.

I hope the marshalls got this guy...yikes. Zipping around, skipping holes, throwing stuff...not exactly proper.