I was amazed by this...

[iacas]

If I was your dad I would kick your ass for being a stupid punk-ass kid. Yeah, you went overboard. The other guy was a jerk. Get over it. Grow up. Learn how to handle yourself and your emotions. You acted like an immature 12 year old.

Yep. I'm not going to tolerate any such behavior from a kid of mine, and I don't tolerate it from my playing partners now. Golf is a gentleman's game, and if someone chooses to behave ungentlemanly outside of your foursome, you can ALWAYS choose to ignore it and act like a gentleman yourself.

Two wrongs don't make a right. I don't care what he said to you.

Im the same age and i think its right to defend yourself, but i bet i woulda said something similiar to that,.... the best thing to say is "Here take my driver and I want to see you do better than that" usually he wont take the offer but if he does and cranks it down the middle your screwed.

That's stupid too. Ignore it and move on. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with "defending yourself." It has everything to do with being classy and mature.

I see some of your guys point but some of you guys just dont get it.

You're acting immaturely now. You don't ask us what we think and then tell us we're wrong or that we "don't get it." You're 15 - we've been there. We do know. We do get it.

People look at you as a 15 year old and say "he cant hit the ball far" and that really bothers me.

So don't let it. Grow up.

I bet I could hit it further then him...he had no right in saying what tees I was playing

He didn't. But you had no right to call him names, either, and even if you had a RIGHT to do so doesn't mean you had to abuse that right or behave poorly.

but like Dent said you have to defend yourself in a situation like that.

Except Dent is wrong, too.

It wasn't like the guy was trying to be nice by saying this to me or recommending that I play a different tee. He was completely getting in my face and yelling at me about it.

No, you're changing your tune now. The guy was not in your face. Stop trying to make your actions look more appropriate. They were not.

People are going to say a lot of things about you throughout your entire life. You have to learn not to care about what people say or think about you.

You bet.

Congrats you acted like a 15 year old, if you want to be treated as an adult you need to learn to act right. When you encounter crokedy grumpy old men on the golf course just smile and move on, that's what I do. Who gives a #$%# what that guy had to say? Cuss him out in your head, don't say anything aloud.

Yep.

In short - and we all mean this with sincerity and fondness - grow up. And be grateful your dad failed to mentor you, because if I were in his place, I'd have sent you off the course that instant and then punished you at home. There's no way in HELL any kid of mine would ever get away with what you did.

[The Bogey Man]

You were wrong, that is plain and simple. I am 21 years old and ALTHOUGH I can understand how you felt because at the age of 15 it is tough to hold back, this is a time for you to realize, "hey I need to grow up". So that if there is ever a "next time" it won't happen.

... Being myself (growing up on a golf course since I was 3 years old) I realize how some people can act, but you just have to muscle it and let it go.

And be grateful your dad failed to mentor you

Maybe his father should of sent him home, but that comment wasn't needed... I'm not flaming at all, but every father is different, and I don't think anyone should say/post that "your dad failed to mentor you" because that goes along the lines of immaturity on a message board imho. Just as his immaturity was on the golf course...

[gogolfing]

Read the chapter in Dr. Gio Valiante's book "Fearless Golf" on Ego vs. Mastery golf. If you're out there worrying about what others think, then you're in it for the wrong reasons. I'd have been choked too that the guy is rude, but it sounds like you're more angry that the guy questioned your ability to play golf from the back tees. Sounds to me that your ego took a hit. 15 was a while ago for me, but playing hockey then, I had a temper too, but that was with other 15 year olds. No matter what an older guy said to me, I would not have come back with the f-bomb etc... you did. Nothing angers a guy being a jerk more than a smile, a tip of the cap and a "Have a nice day". I guarantee he would have been steamed, you'd be laughing and his game would have gone for a dump instead of yours.

[dayll]

CG031: Listen - us old guys can be unreasonably bitter at times; we detest you young guys because you haven't been broken on Life's rack yet. Give us a break - most of us are whipped dogs at home. (the older you get the more She runs things.) Our last refuge is the golf course. If we seem a bit overbearing try and understand this, difficult as it may be, down the road a few decades - you is us!!! (And believe you me kid those decades go by like bullets!) so lighten up and try and apply a little understanding. Being older doesn't automatically make us smarter - it just makes us older. d

[CG031]

i understand where everyone is coming from and i completely agree. i am not disagreeing with anyone here...what i am saying is you guys have blasted me very hard for this and i understand. im not going to do it again.

[PensacolaWahoo]

i understand where everyone is coming from and i completely agree. i am not disagreeing with anyone here...what i am saying is you guys have blasted me very hard for this and i understand. im not going to do it again.

Good man.....

[ActionJackson]

Yeah I wouldn't take anything personal here, I don't think there is one person in this thread that will claim that they have never had a hot-head momment...and if they do, they're lying. The key here is that you learn from it, recognize a similliar situation next time and react differently...learn from it, which you seem to be doing.

-Adam J.

[CG031]

Good man.....

yea thanks guys. you were all right it doesnt really help anyone by getting into a screaming match. haha.

[Dent]

Maybe i learned a lesson here to.... I just really like to flip out sometimes and let off some steam, I guess i just gotta save it for yelling at my mom at home. Jokes. Ill try to keep it inside.

[MountainHip]

You can't change people's opinion in a flash.
I'd invite the guy for a drink after the round, and chat.
It's worked for me.

[DM4UGA]

CG,

I'm 21, I can remember being 15, and if it's true you said all you said (which I don't believe you did, because to me it sounds like a 15 year old bragging on the internet) then you were wrong.

Did you stop to think that maybe that old fart in the group behind you got shot at on the beaches of normandy? Maybe even took a bullet. Regardless, he could have worked a register at a grocery store for 60 years but he still deserves some respect from you.

Okay, so he's a geezer, and a rude one at that. But you gotta learn to just take it sometimes. The biggest man isn't the one who can hurl back insults, it's the one who can stand silent and let insults bounce off of him like a brick wall.



However - I've found that if you master an icy stare, it can be much more effective than words. Of course the fact that I'm 6'3" 210 lbs also helps deter any unwanted comments.

[seattlemudder]

Interesting post. Kind of reminds me of the Happy Gilmore scene where he and Bob Barker go a few rounds. I guess it could have been worse.

First of all, I can understand how you felt. Our elders though deserve respect just because they're older - it's the right thing to do even if they're being jerks. You should have smiled and said nothing - when you can do that with people that act that way you will disarm them and you will earn the respect of all those around you. I'm not saying you shouldn't defend yourself but pick your battles - some things are worth fighting for, that one wasn't.

More importantly is what you do going forward and what lessons you learn from incidents like that one because you're probably going to run into a lot of jerks in your life.

So my advice to you is that you apologize to your dad and anyone else you were playing with and tell them you are sorry for the way you acted and ask for their forgiveness (if you haven't already done so) - doing just that will cause you to grow, trust me.

And, if you run into the dude again, go up to him and say you're sorry and shake his hand - you'll be a better man for it.

[lamebums]

(Am I the only one that still advocates laying into the guy while you've got the chance? Maybe it's just me, my personality, or from my experiences, I'd still have a go at it. My tolerance for 70+ golfers with a bad attitude has been whittled down to zero from being stuck behind too many leagues, foursomes, and just plain *******s.)

[seattlemudder]

(Am I the only one that still advocates laying into the guy while you've got the chance? Maybe it's just me, my personality, or from my experiences, I'd still have a go at it. My tolerance for 70+ golfers with a bad attitude has been whittled down to zero from being stuck behind too many leagues, foursomes, and just plain *******s.)

You have to play before the leagues...

[ActionJackson]

Emotional Discipline takes much more skill than laying in to him, loosing your temper is the easy way out and in the end just makes people not want to be around you. Then what have you accomplished? Telling somebody off who you may never see again...I meet people like this at work alot, the last one I met was stabbed 20 times and is still on life support (gald I didin't have to write that report) but I bet he feels good for telling that guy off...he really show'd him! Please... Let it go and grow up.

[mstuk]

I think you should go and learn some manners before you go back out on a golf course , if you were my son I would be ashamed by your antics . Incidentally you dont sound like you could blow the skin off a rice pudding so I would also suggest you learn to control your temper before you get hurt.

[Norm66]

Part of me agrees that yelling back at an old crank is not gentlemanly and certainly counter-productive to your golf game, but another part of me (the young hothead I suppose) firmly believes that we live in a rude society because we tolerate too much for fear of litigation or mayhem.

I guess the smart thing would have been to simply ignore the jerk, but at 15 (or 35 for that matter) I admit I would have had trouble doing so. I think a lot of folks are being overly tough on CG.

[Jeepthrills]

I have found that it's just best to deliver a quick punch to the neck...Seriously though. I agree with the majority here. You were both wrong. There is nothing worse than hitting a bad shot and then having someone do or say something to make it worse. I have found it's best to say something under your breath that only the people right near you can hear. It's best if you can make the guys with you laugh and look at him. This will only piss him off more and help to ruin his day like he is ruining yours.

Don't let him get too you. He was trying to cast balme on you for the course being backed up. We were playing as a fivesome and had guys come up behind us when there was a group hacking it up in front of us that would not let us play through. They wanted us to let them go because we were a five and they were so much faster. When we declined and told them it wouldn't help they were pissy. We could see them acting all pissed behind us when they had to wait. Even though they could see the slugs infront of us. It's easier to blame someone you can see then to blame the actual problem.