Procedures in the pre-shot routine. Venting

**schigara** · August 1, 2009

I play with a friend who really gets on my nerves sometimes and messes my game up as well. I think he does it on purpose to beat me.

All day on the course today, he's harping on how my routine is wrong. My final part of the setup, I have the club head sitting about ball height and then bend my knees down to ground the club behind the ball. I have been doing quite well the past few months with this routine and very rarely hit one fat or thin.

Today he's starts giving advice on how I should first bend my knees and then set the club down behind the ball. WTF difference does it make? As long as I am doing something that is comfortable and works. I have beat him the last 5 of 6 rounds so I must be doing something right.......

I was working on a slight grip change and he knew this and I was shooting a little left and then he starts with this crap and now I'm topping and chunking shots!

He has been playing 4 years longer than me and never thought I would catch him or beat him and since I have started beating him, he tries to get me out of my mental game to be able to win. Is that not some BS, cowardly way to win?

**ryohazuki222** · August 1, 2009

Nothing wrong with that. If you can't handle the pressure get off the course.

If you're looking for some internet forum justification that he may be a douchebag. I'll give it to you. But if you're looking for some justification that you're game isn't sound enough to handle some trash talk.... maybe another poster will give it to you.

As long as he's not talking crap in your backswing you get no sympathy for me.

Just to reiterate my opinion in case it's too subtle. Golf is the most mental sport I've played -- work on your mental toughness.

**woodzie264** · August 1, 2009

While I'm on your side, everyone is responsible for their own play/shots...good or bad. Just like Tiger, we need to be able to block out distractions...right?

**schigara** · August 1, 2009

I think you missed the part where I said I beat him the last 5 out of 6 times. First time I beat him he began talking trash. I had a problem with the kind of trash he was talking today. So called advice meant to do harm.

My main point was that it is a BS way to try to win by talking trash. If you can't win without talking trash, stay off the course. I did let him get into my head and that is my fault but I would hate to win if I did that to someone else. I guess I am just too decent. When I play, I am considerate and just play my own game. If I lose because someone plays better then so be it. He beat my by 2 strokes today and I was only there to work on a few things and knowing that, he's gloating that he beat me. I don't care. He beat me for years when I could barely break 95. He has been shooting mid 80's for as long as I have played with him. Now that I am beating him, his true and distasteful colors are starting to show. I don't like ghetto golf. This is not a dice game behind a strip joint in an alley. I have played with many scratch golfers that didn't use gutless tactics against others of any skill level(class acts).

Nothing wrong with that. If you can't handle the pressure get off the course.

**ryohazuki222** · August 1, 2009

I didn't miss that part. Apparently you missed the part where you wrote he was your friend.

My personal opinion is in agreement with you. Golf isn't a game of trash talking. That said, trash talking -- whether well or poorly received -- is a part of the game between friends. If and when it becomes too much to bear... the friendship ends.

EDIT:

I reread your second post and my first post. I'll add the fact that you handled his trash talk well enough to win the last handful of times... but you also seem to be implying that it hurt your game. When I said work on your mental toughness it didn't mean "toughen up so you can win" -- obviously, you've done that already... it meant "toughen up so you can play to your potential despite these provocations."

**schigara** · August 1, 2009

I understand and really appreciate what you are saying. The hard part is the he is one of my very best friends, here in Memphis and the only friend that is serious about golf.

I will continue to play golf with him but I will certainly have a different mindset. I used to feel like I could play him straight up......and now I will still play straight up but just will totally block him out. It's kinda sad, when you think about it.

I didn't miss that part. Apparently you missed the part where you wrote he was your friend.

**prutkows** · August 1, 2009

i see a couple of solutions to the problem.

1. ignore him, play better than him even when he's trash talking.
2. tell him to cut it out (but if he does you'd better play better than you did when he was talking or else he'll have more reason to laugh at you)

**Cussin hacker** · August 1, 2009

Reverse the trash talk and let him have it. As soon as he knows it doesn't bother you and you get on his ass he'll quit. You know the ol saying...Bust a bully in the mouth and he'll be less likely mess with you again. My .02 anyway.

**alf174** · August 1, 2009

i see a couple of solutions to the problem.

3. Find some more friends that golf.

Trash talking is fun but guys I golf with don't consider the critiquing of each others swing trash talking. The critiquing belongs at the range.

**shortstop20** · August 3, 2009

Nothing wrong with that. If you can't handle the pressure get off the course.

While I agree about mental toughness, there's no reason for his playing partner to be an idiot. Why people nowadays think they can act like douchebags and everybody else should put up with it is beyond me.

I would suggest telling his playing partner that he doesn't like the things he does and if he refuses to stop them quit playing with him.

John Kyle · August 3, 2009

trash talking can be fun as long as you dont go to far with it but i agree talking shit about someone's swing kinda makes me mad

brn14me · August 3, 2009

if he's one of your best friends tell him it bothers you
if he cannot take that to heart......you should really consider who is and who isn't your friend

worst case scenario he'll take what you told him and use it against you; then you'll really begin to understand just how great of a friend he is

if you're not comfortable telling him straight up........start putting some money down on it - loser pays green fees or whatever. then if he keeps it up you'll just have the pleasure to know you're playing for free every week

**ryohazuki222** · August 3, 2009

While I agree about mental toughness, there's no reason for his playing partner to be an idiot. Why people nowadays think they can act like douchebags and everybody else should put up with it is beyond me.

My take on people is they should be however they want to be as long as they can live with the consequences. I place the blame on the people putting up with those douchebags. Personally, I have a low tolerance for it.... and I expect others to not put up with me as well if I get out of line.

**Drennen13** · August 3, 2009

Sounds like a friendly game to me. And if its a money game then he's got his strategy set.

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