Corny Joke Thread

[ks8829]

What's endless love












Ray Charles and Helen Keller playing golf

[ks8829]

Man tells his wife that he's going out to play 18 holes and after his round he's late comming home so he explains to his wife why he late he confesses to his wife that after playing 18 holes he meets this beatiful women in the parking lot and decided to go back to her house and they fooled around, his wife immediate says to him, you played another round didn't you?

[sms316]

What's black and blue and hates sex?

A rape victim.

[Dub]

What's black and blue and hates sex?

Sad and very disturbing that you find humor in a crime such as rape.

[Grndslmhttr3]

Sad and very disturbing that you find humor in a crime such as rape.

^What he said

Anyway, a wise man once told me, that those who run in front of cars get tired, and those who run behind cars get exhausted. God I love puns.

[flopdarock]

Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: WHACK..."Damn"! A bad Skydiver goes: "Damn"!...WHACK.

What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God can't hit a 1-iron!

What are the four worst words you could hear during a game of golf?
It's still your turn!

Q: What is the difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?
A: A man will spend 5 minutes looking for the lost golf ball

The other day I was playing golf and I hit two of my best balls.
I stepped on a rake.

[sms316]

God I love puns.

The pun is the lowest form of wit (or is that the bun is the lowest form of wheat)?

[RC]

For some reason, I liked Monty Python...

"There were two peanuts walking down the street, and one was a salted."

[Tobias]

Haha... Yeah that certainly was a corny joke... I'll see if I can come up with one too :)

[Bump-n-MI]

A guy walks into his Docs office for a physical. Doc says drop your drawers ane he notices the patient has a nicotine patch on his junk. The Doc says that is not where the patch is supposed to go…the patient replies yes it is I'm down to 2 butts a day.

[Snake]

Did you hear about Denny's new Octo-Mom breakfast?
You get 8 eggs, no sausage and everyone else in the restaurant pays the bill.

[flopdarock]

Did you hear about Denny's new Octo-Mom breakfast?

wow... i almost fell outta my chair... buahaha... good one

[uttexas]

After a lengthy courtship and engagement the groom and bride on their wedding night have just consumated their marriage.
The bride is stroking the groom's man area and the groom asks.
"That was great honey, but why is it that every time after sharing our love, do you stroke my manhood for hours and hours?"
The bride says "Maybe its because I miss mine so much"

[uttexas]

There are two blonde California girls across the street from each other on Rodeo Drive. One blonde yells across to the other "How do you get to the other side?"

The other blonde yells back, "you're already there"

[TommyD69]

Q. Why does a chicken coupe have two doors?

A. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan...

[chipper2]

The old elephant joke:
Q. Why do elephants paint their toenails different colors?
A. To hide in a bag of M&Ms;

Q. Have you ever seen an elephant in a bag of M&Ms;?
A. See it works!

[IcemanYVR]

A Rastafarian walks into a bank and hands the teller a bag of weed and says to her; "Me wanna open a joint account"

[Grndslmhttr3]

The pun is the lowest form of wit (or is that the bun is the lowest form of wheat)?

Touche!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? 'Ell if I know! (say it out loud, you'll get it)