How Much Golf Is "Too Much" for Your Wife?

[chriskzoo]

Scenario: Wife, 3 kids - 4, 2, 1

I live in Michigan, so we obviously only get to play about 6-7 months out of the year unless you really want to brave the elements. I play in a league that runs 18 weeks on Thursday nights and then play with my buddies maybe every 3rd weekend and we take one 2-day trip a year. Here is the sequence of events:

First weekend in May - 2 day trip, leave Saturday morning, home Sunday night. 36 holes.
End of May - 18 holes.
Middle of June - 18 holes.
End of June - 18 Holes.

So my wife goes out of town for a week and I play in my league and then on the weekend. Then she comes back and I play the next weekend, and the weekened after that to get ready for a tournament. So essentially we are talking playing two weekends in a row while she was home and she spins it into "playing 8 times in 3 weeks!" by including my league and my upcoming tournament - which is on a Monday when I would be working anyway!

Her fram of reference is that her Dad played in a golf league, 9 holes a week, and "That should be good enough." I basically just laughed at her, as yes, I played two weekends in a row, but don't give me shit about taking time away from the family when I play while she's out of town or play in a tournament she has known about for months and is on a Monday.

GAH!

[TN94z]

Honestly??? Anything related to golf is too much. She really gets mad when I go play all day, come home and turn on the tournament on the big screen, and watch it while I am reading golf digest and practicing my swing in the living room.....I don't understand why she thinks I am too involved in it??

[chriskzoo]

For my wife, I think it's because she really doesn't have a hobby. I always tell her to take a class, etc - anything to be able to get out one night a week, but she doesn't think that's the issue.

I can't wait until the kids are all at least 2 or 3 and potty trained - then they are pretty much on auto-pilot and don't have to be tended to at all times.

[Slim 11]

There is a balance needed between family and "me" time. My wife will sometimes get on me about golf, but usually not. I play 1-2 times per week (on average). If she goes out of town with the kids, and I don't go for some reason, it's a free for all! HA! I try to do a little work around the house but I am polishing the clubs before she is gone.
I have to say, again, that I don't get much gruff from her about it, but if I did, that would just cause bigger problems. I don't know the semantics of your household but I am the main wage earner, do most of the work around the house (all the yardwork, at least half the cleaning and laundry, all the misc. repairs etc.) so I feel entitled to some free time. Of course, she is encouraged to her own time, as well, and we try to do family things once or twice a week with the kids (my kids are a bit older too, which makes things easier).

[enis750]

  chriskzoo said:

For my wife, I think it's because she really doesn't have a hobby. I always tell her to take a class, etc - anything to be able to get out one night a week, but she doesn't think that's the issue.

aaahhhhh hahahahahah!

i seriuosly almost peed reading this i told my wife the exact same thing (we have a 15 mnth old), she almost shot me i am sure!! "get a hobby" she says! hahahahah!!!!! i have many hobbies that, well yes, can be expensive - sledding (or ski doo-ing - whatever u want to call it), hockey, golf, snowboarding etc.. i get to spend all kinds of money doing this, and what does she get to do? FIND A HOBBY i guess?? hahahah!!! it is tough for us to do things together now w our little girl, but it is what it is she gets out golfing w me maybe once a month - and shes good too - good teacher i guess :) sorry dude, related to much not to laugh :)

[SpringBokVol]

  TN94z said:

Honestly??? Anything related to golf is too much. She really gets mad when I go play all day, come home and turn on the tournament on the big screen, and watch it while I am reading golf digest and practicing my swing in the living room.....I don't understand why she thinks I am too involved in it??

I think we are the same person. In a non creepy way

[fendermallot]

  chriskzoo said:

I can't wait until the kids are all at least 2 or 3 and potty trained - then they are pretty much on auto-pilot and don't have to be tended to at all times.

I'm sorry but... AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good luck with that one buddy. They go from being "helpless" to sneaky and deceitful. They require twice the care.

[SpringBokVol]

  chriskzoo said:

For my wife, I think it's because she really doesn't have a hobby. I always tell her to take a class, etc - anything to be able to get out one night a week, but she doesn't think that's the issue.

You are right. It helped my wife immensely when she got a hobby. It was couponing with her girlfriends every Monday night.

[chriskzoo]

  SpringBokVol said:

You are right. It helped my wife immensely when she got a hobby. It was couponing with her girlfriends every Monday night.

Yeah, forunately our neighborhood has a "ladies night" once a month (which I make her go to) and we went out to dinner with a guy from my league and his wife. I swear I try harder to find things for her to do than she does!

[sam004]

I don't suppose their are many married ladies on the board to weigh in on this from their side ? Is your wife really mad or just giving you flak ? How long have you been married, [including engagements and dating] more than 7 yrs ? And she golfs too and doesn't understand ? Is she getting in enough golf or envious of your time ?

I wonder what Dr. Phil would say ? :)
I don't see anything wrong, but then again, I'm on this site.

[kris]

  TN94z said:

Honestly??? Anything related to golf is too much. She really gets mad when I go play all day, come home and turn on the tournament on the big screen, and watch it while I am reading golf digest and practicing my swing in the living room.....I don't understand why she thinks I am too involved in it??

a joke right?

[TN94z]

  kris said:

a joke right?

Yeah....I don't really like Golf Digest!

[chriskzoo]

  sam004 said:

I don't suppose their are many married ladies on the board to weigh in on this from their side ? Is your wife really mad or just giving you flak ? How long have you been married, [including engagements and dating] more than 7 yrs ? And she golfs too and doesn't understand ? Is she getting in enough golf or envious of your time ?

We've been married 7 years almost and she doesn't golf. She wants to, but I told her that I am incapable of teaching her and recommended she sign up for one of those once a night 6 week beginner classes.

I was just astounded that, granted I went on a little 2-day weekend at the beginning of May, that the 5 rounds, 1 of which was a weekday, I have played while she was home (I don't count it if she's out of town, even if she thought of that as "the time to get all your golf in") since then was "out of hand" to her. Really, playing 4 times in 20 weekend days is "out of hand"? I just laugh at her.

[iacas]

A hobby helps. My wife got into scrapbooking, so now she has her hobby, and I have mine (along with photography - which pairs well with her scrapbooking, I might add).

[kris]

  TN94z said:

Yeah....I don't really like Golf Digest!

ok lol.

now, I know golf is fun for us guys and we want to play all the time but I can understand where the wife is coming from here. maybe spend a little more time with her occasionally and at least act like you care for her and her opinions. marriage is a sacrifice.

[TN94z]

  chriskzoo said:

We've been married 7 years almost and she doesn't golf. She wants to, but I told her that I am incapable of teaching her and recommended she sign up for one of those once a night 6 week beginner classes.

My thing is this...and I am being serious now. My wife gets off earlier than me in the evenings, so she goes shopping or hangs out with her friends until I get off and the goes home. If I go play golf when I get off of work, it frustrates her. She thinks that I should spend more time at home once I get off work. The problem is, she gets to do what she wants because she gets off earlier....I can't help it that I have to work longer than her. She don't get mad....but I will get that dreaded "silent treatment" from time to time. And another thing. If I stay home on the weekends to spend time with her, we will just sit there and lay around and not do anything all day. If I go play golf, she will take the kid and go to the movies, bowling, out to eat, etc....while I'm gone. I'm like "why don't you want to do that stuff when I am staying home with you all day?" Anyway, it is never that bad really, just a little frustrating from time to time.

  None said:

ok lol. now, I know golf is fun for us guys and we want to play all the time but I can understand where the wife is coming from here. maybe spend a little more time with her occasionally and at least act like you care for her and her opinions. marriage is a sacrifice.

I understand. And I do anything they want, any time they want. I love doing stuff with them, don't get me wrong. I don't play golf if we have plans either. I always clear it before I go, so it's not as bad as it seems. I have tried to slack off a bit this year too. She has started working out in the evenings now and that really helps. Not to mention that when I do go play on the weekends, she gets to go spend money!

[Smarf]

I'm actually on the opposite end of this in that my wife encourages me to go play. She moved here from Wisconsin and as a result had zero friends. She met a gal at her new job and they hit it off. Turns out her friends husband is an avid golfer and his wife is learning the game, so I was encouraged to take up the sport again and go golfing with them.

So now I have my pool league on Tuesday night and play 18 holes every Saturday. She get's to spend whatever money she wants on plants, so it works out.

[opie]

My wife has Junior League, Dinner Group, Bunco, Personal Trainer 2 days a week and works late. She's gone more than I am. It's funny, On wednesday she'll ask me what time I'm playing Saturday and Sunday to plan around it