Telling Your Friends You Dont Want Them In Your Foursome......

[Danny Noonan]

  TourSpoon said:

Stop answering their questions and just say something really generic like, "You need to feel the swing" or "Work on your tempo". Once they figure out that you don't have any answers, they will quit asking. I do play with a group every now and then that has a very trying skill level and it is the perfect time to work on the mental game.

I just tell them to "be the ball." If they aren't being the ball, I tell them that, too.

[xxsoultonesxx]

I've got this golfing buddy who uses his time on the course to get away from his girlfriend, usually has about 3 too many beers and acts like a dumbass. He rolled a cart nearly in view of the clubhouse one time, he did donuts in the cart and sent my bag flying off the back...twice. In one round. He plays bumper-carts, brake checks yada yada. I don't golf with him anymore.

He also played barefoot.

[lumpuckeroo]

I tried to get my kids to play when they were younger but they were much more into team sports and golf was slow and boring. Now as adults they are more interested and want to play, but they aren't good. While they are my children and probably easier for me to just say no, but what I try to do is spend several times a month with them at the driving range and limit playing with them to once a month. I just mentally prepare myself that the round is about them and not me and work on teaching them the things they need to know on the golf course.

Golfing with them has helped me also, I have to work harder at switching my mental focus, from teacher to player, so when I golf with buddies very little they can do to distract me. I have also found I play more relaxed with my kids and my ball striking improves, so I try to take that away as a positive.

[Fourputt]

  andymane said:

here latley it seems more and more of my friends and co workers are getting into golf, this is a good thing dont get me wrong. but these last few outings it seems that i end up doing more babysitting/coaching than actually focusing on my round. informing them of etiquette, rules, and of course the questions." what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?". i really dont feel bad because ive asked them numerous times to come to the range with me and practice and if they do come with me they hit nothing but driver untill they are to sore to move. lol How do you guys deal with these types of scenarios? does it make me a bad person/friend because i would rather have skilled people in 4 some???? and how do i go about telling co workers and close friends that i dont want to play with them untill they can keep the ball in play and i dont have to remind them to rake bunkers and fix ball marks and such?????

I can understand the issue with them asking for free swing lessons. I wouldn't do that either. All you have to do just tell them you aren't a golf instructor. But for etiquette and rules, I think it's every player's job to do all he can to inform beginning players about such things. These are areas which are woefully neglected on the lesson tee, and I feel it's important for those who do understand these things to pass on the information. Just cut it off at the point of giving swing lessons.

[sean_miller]

  andymane said:

HAHA dont you love it. They have been asking you all day for tips, and you tell them "hit your 5 iron" they reply "no, i think ill go with my 7 instead"........"shit!, its in the water"

He'd have hit the water with the 5-iron too.

[Fat Slice]

  andymane said:

" what am i doing worng?" "why does that always happen?" "how do I fix that?".

Lack of practice and lessons leads to bad shots. That can't be remedied on the course. Just do your best to move the ball along and enjoy your day.

[SteelCitySlice]

Your frustrations over the questions is a tough one. They are just trying to learn the game and understand its etiquette, and they'll never learn if they don't ask. But I understand that you want to concentrate on your own game and not worry about what your buddies/coworkers are doing.

As far as them slowing down the pace of play, here is a good tip. Make them play like its a best ball scramble. If they duff one 50 yrds off the tee, have them pick it up and hit from where your ball landed. If their second shot goes spraying into the woods, have them drop on the green near where you're putting from (assuming you've made the GIR!) and putt out. If they are just starting out, this is a great way to get them out on the course without drastically slowing down the pace of play and cause you frustration. As they get better and put more shots in the fairway/close to the green, let them play more shots!

[jswaykos]

Just keep in mind that you once started in their shoes, too. We all started somewhere, right? That said, including them in an early morning, weekend tee time might not be the best idea, but perhaps to maintain the friendship (if that's what you're REALLY concerned about) meet for some mid-week twilight golf. Out here, late in the day you can play for $15 with a cart after 4 or 5pm. That's only nine holes, tops, but it's better 'experience' than a range.

Just a thought.

[sean_miller]

  SteelCitySlice said:

. . . Make them play like its a best ball scramble . . . As they get better and put more shots in the fairway/close to the green, let them play more shots!

Somehow I don't see that conversation being very pleasant.

[xxsoultonesxx]

I've got a couple friends who suck horribly but insist we play every so often, and we have a rule that if you can throw the ball further than you hit it off the tee, you get a second shot....that helps quite a bit.

[ZEUS]

I will say this...This was my first season playing golf (started in Nov 09) and during last winter I went to the range and hit balls 3-5 times a week. Not really knowing what I was doing but was out there just getting a feel of what golf was all about. One day I met a scratch golfer and he gave me a few tips he started meeting up a couple times during the winter to come and hit balls. We talked and became good friends and when the spring broke I called him to see if he wanted to play a round with me and he accepted and was very helpful. I think I hit around 120 that day. but was very helpful. I took some lessons and he continued playing rounds with me about once a week. by the end of this season. We were great friends and we play 3 times a week. My last two rounds were in the 80's and will be in the 70 next year. I AM SURE OF IT ;) So what I am saying is that if you can tolerate some time with a friend and invest some rounds to play you can make a lifelong friend and within time a player who can push you to make u better. Now we don't even have to say if we want me to tend each others flags because we know our styles. we have good etiquette and help rack each others bunkers etc. He also shot his best 4 rounds of the year with me. He will get a very nice gift from me this Christmas for all his help.