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Posted
Al:

"Country clubs and cemetaries the biggest wasteses of prime real estate."

I like the he says "wasteses". I think its just as amusing when Gary Oldman says "breasteses" in True Romance.

- DN
Sun Mountain C-130 Bag - Titanium
Ping G10 Irons PW-5
Ping G10 Driver
Ping G10 21 and 24 HybridsPing G15 17 HybridScotty Newport 2 Button BackTitleist Vokey Spin Milled 52 (8), 56 (14), and 60 (4)Titleist ProV1Backspin Buddy Groove Sharpener (yes, it works great)Adidas 360 Ltd.


Posted
Other than my signature...

Judge: You should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. He's been club champion for years and I'm no slouch myself.
Ty: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

Sandy: (in his thick Scottish accent) I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course!
Carl: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you fool! Gophers! The little brown furry rodents!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason.

Ty: A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.

In myBagBoy Revolver: HiBore XL 10.5° ⢠HiBore 3W ⢠Halo 2i, 3i & 4i
MX900 5-PW ⢠MP-R 52-07° & 58-10° ⢠Studio Select Squareback 1

Carl Spackler: This is a hybrid. This is a cross of Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff...


Posted
Some of my favorites not yet mentioned...


Carl Spackler : This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.


Ty Webb: Sure thing. Shoot, Timmy.
Danny Noonan : Danny.
Ty Webb : Danny


Carl Spackler : License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.


Ty Webb: Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy.

Al Czervik : What're we, waiting for these guys? Hey Whitey, where's your hat?
Judge Smails : Do you mind, sir. I'm trying to tee off.
Al Czervik : I'll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods.
Judge Smails : Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice.
[Swings club, slices ball into woods]
Judge Smails : *Damn*.
Al Czervik : OK, you can owe me.

Judge Smails : [to Bishop Fred Pickering] Say, Fred, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy who went to heaven?
Bishop : Yeah, Judge, that's a doozy


Judge Smails : Danny, I'm having a party this weekend...How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?


[after the gopher takes his ball]
Al Czervik : Hey, that kangaroo just took my ball!

Judge Smails: Yes. Yes. Winter rules....

Constantine

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Posted
Al Czervik

Yes, those are great too!

Callaway RazrFit Extreme 9.5 w/Project X 6.5
Callaway XHot Pro 15* 3Wood w/Project X 6.5
Callaway XTour 18* 2h w/S300
Callaway XHot Pro 4/5 irons w/S300
Callaway XForged III 5-PW irons w/S300
Callaway Forged 52*/58* Wedges
Odyssey 7 Versa 90
Callaway Hex Black Tour


Posted
"Guess that must be the tea!"

"How about a Fresca?"

Ty - "We have to win this hole."
Danny - "I kinda thought winning wasn't important"
Ty - "Me winning isn't, you do"
Danny - "Great grammar"


 


Posted
I have always used Maggies line.....
Ya well.....Tanks for nuttin..............
In the bag.....
Burner Superfast
G10 3wd UST V2
hybrid
MP-32 CG10/11 52*,56*,58*,60* wedges Squareback Pro V1Bushnell 1500 Pinseeker T.E. laser range finderBushnell Neo GPS

Posted
Spalding Smails : "... You're probably high already and you don't even know it."

driver: FT-i tlcg 9.5˚ (Matrix Ozik XCONN Stiff)
4 wood: G10 (ProLaunch Red FW stiff)
3 -PW: :Titleist: 695 mb (Rifle flighted 6.0)
wedges:, 52˚, 56˚, 60˚
putter: Studio Select Newport 1.5


Posted
I could just quote the whole movie.

I especially like Carl's telling of the Dali Lama incident, particularly...
He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.
Love the "big hitter" part and the dramatic pause as he is tryin got quote the Lama.

One I haven't seen posted that is funny, but often missed...

Al Cervik: I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

Slim 11
Driver: Cobra F-Speed 10.5*
3 wood: Cobra F Speed
5 wood: Cobra F Speed
Irons: Cobra 3100H/I 3-PWSW: Pixl 56*Putter: Monza Rossa MalletBall: Slazenger Raw Feel


Posted
Ratfarts!

Noonan!

everything from the drunken bishop, ted knight, and of course spackler... i love when he is putting the c4 squirrel w/ wires sticking out of its ass into the gopher hole and says, "dont mind this, doctors orders"

Bag: Cheapo
Driver:983K
Woods: Steelhead
Irons-PW: X-12
SW: 56* CG14LW: 60* CG14Putter:Craz-E "I Series"BallNY, NY"Chinch Bugs"


Posted
A lot of mine have already been taken.

Here's a few more:

"Momma, Danny saw me naked!"

"What are you, a diabetic?"

"Thank you very little."

"A pool, and a pond. The pond would be good for you."

"Cannonball"

"What's that sign say?" "No bare feet"
"Clean up that blood"

"I ain't payin' no 50 cents for no coke!" "Then a you ain't a gettin' no coke!"

"double-turds!"

and on and on...

Ping G2 Driver; Titleist 906F2 5W; TM Rescue Mid 3H; Adams Idea Pro 4H; Titleist DTR 3-SW; Callaway Bobby Jones Putter; Ping Hoofer lite

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Posted
Let's not forget:

You'll get nothing and like it!

Slim 11
Driver: Cobra F-Speed 10.5*
3 wood: Cobra F Speed
5 wood: Cobra F Speed
Irons: Cobra 3100H/I 3-PWSW: Pixl 56*Putter: Monza Rossa MalletBall: Slazenger Raw Feel


Posted
This cracks me up every time:

Ty Webb: Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?
Danny Noonan: No.
Ty Webb: Take one good guess.
Danny Noonan: Bob Hope?
Ty Webb: Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Cumstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

Titleist 910D3 8.5* Aldila RIP
Titleist 910F 13.5* Diamana Kai'li
Nickent 4DX 20* and 24*
Tour Preferred 5-PW
52.08, 56.14, 60.04 Titleist Vokey

Odyssey Metal-X #9 Putter

Pro V1x


Posted
What is it Carl is saying at the ball washer when scoping out the elderly women?

Something like "you beast, you dirty beast." "you're lean and mean and not to far in between, huh?" "how'd you like to wrap your spikes around my head, huh?" Something like that.

Classic.

- DN
Sun Mountain C-130 Bag - Titanium
Ping G10 Irons PW-5
Ping G10 Driver
Ping G10 21 and 24 HybridsPing G15 17 HybridScotty Newport 2 Button BackTitleist Vokey Spin Milled 52 (8), 56 (14), and 60 (4)Titleist ProV1Backspin Buddy Groove Sharpener (yes, it works great)Adidas 360 Ltd.


Posted
the whole opening conversation between ty and danny. specifically:

ty: i like you, betty.

danny: danny, sir.

ty: whatever.

----

ty: ...do you do drugs, danny?

danny: every day.

ty: then what's the problem?

----

ty: this isn't russia. is this russia? this isn't russia...

----

ty: what's the matter with working in a lumber yard? i own two lumber yards.

danny: i notice you don't spend much time there.

ty: i'm not sure where they are.

Posted
Fred Pickering: You don't have to ask a Navy man if he'll have another drink.
It nobody's goddam business how many drinks he's had already!!

Al: Can you make a bull shot? Tony: Can you make a shoe smell?


Al: When's the next bus to Boys town?


Al: Tell the chef my steak still has the marks where the jockey was hitting it!


Ty: Dad... never liked you....


The Judge: I sent boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. But, I felt I OWED it to them!


I could go on all day!!!!

Posted
I have always used Maggies line.....

I say that one all the time!!!! A few of my favorites... "I was born to love you. I was born to lick your face. I was born to rub you. But you were born to rub me first." Lacey Underall: "Who's your decorator, Benihana?" Ty Webb: "No, I got most of that in Vietnam." Lacey Underall: "You were in the war?" Ty Webb: "No...(grabs hip and limps to the bar)....homo." Al Czervik: "Hey, you scratched my anchor!" Judge Smails: "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. Felt I owed it to them." Mrs. Smails: "Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?"

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  • Posts

    • Day 1: 2025.12.26 Worked on LH position on grip, trying to keep fingers closer to perpendicular to the club. Feels awkward but change is meant to.
    • Please see this topic for updated information:
    • Please see this topic for updated information:
    • When you've been teaching golf as long as I have, you're going to find that you can teach some things better than you previously had, and you're probably going to find some things that you taught incorrectly. I don't see that as a bad thing — what would be worse is refusing to adapt and grow given new information. I've always said that my goal with my instruction isn't to be right, but it's to get things right. To that end, I'm about five years late in issuing a public proclamation on something… When I first got my GEARS system, I immediately looked at the golf swings of the dozens and dozens of Tour players for which I suddenly had full 3D data. I created a huge spreadsheet showing how their bodies moved, how the club moved, at various points in the swing. I mapped knee and elbow angles, hand speeds, shoulder turns and pelvis turns… etc. I re-considered what I thought I knew about the golf swing as performed by the best players. One of those things dated back to the earliest days: that you extend (I never taught "straighten" and would avoid using that word unless in the context of saying "don't fully straighten") the trail knee/leg in the backswing. I was mislead by 2D photos from less-than-ideal camera angles — the trail leg rotates a bit during the backswing, and so when observing trail knee flex should also use a camera that moves to stay perpendicular to the plane of the ankle/knee/hip joint. We have at least two topics here on this (here and here; both of which I'll be updating after publishing this) where @mvmac and I advise golfers to extend the trail knee. Learning that this was not right is one of the reasons I'm glad to have a 3D system, as most golfers generally preserve the trail knee flex throughout the backswing. Data Here's a video showing an iron and a driver of someone who has won the career slam: Here's what the graph of his right knee flex looks like. The solid lines I've positioned at the top of the backswing (GEARS aligns both swings at impact, the dashed line). Address is to the right, of course, and the graph shows knee flex from the two swings above. The data (17.56° and 23.20°) shows where this player is in both swings (orange being the yellow iron swing, pink the blue driver swing). You can see that this golfer extends his trail knee 2-3°… before bending it even more than that through the late backswing and early downswing. Months ago I created a quick Instagram video showing the trail knee flex in the backswing of several players (see the top for the larger number): Erik J. Barzeski (@iacas) • Instagram reel GEARS shares expert advice on golf swing technique, focusing on the critical backswing phase. Tour winners and major champions reveal the key to a precise and powerful swing, highlighting the importance of... Here are a few more graphs. 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