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I'll be a tour pro...

matic

By matic,
in Golf Talk

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clearwaterms Great Member

clearwaterms

I can see it now.

- Shortest drive competitions.

- Longest divot counting from the center of the golf ball backwards.

- The number of greens you are able to play without having to repair a ball mark.

  • Upvote 1

In my bag:

some golf clubs

a few golf balls

a bag of tee's some already broken the rest soon to be

a snickers wrapper (if you have seen me play, you would know you are not going anywhere for a while)

and an empty bottle of water

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dave67az Dedicated Member

dave67az

Originally Posted by clearwaterms

I can see it now.

- Shortest drive competitions.

- Longest divot counting from the center of the golf ball backwards.

- The number of greens you are able to play without having to repair a ball mark.

- Highest ratio of hang-time (in seconds) to distance (in yards).  My personal best has to be a sky-shot off the tee that probably had a 6 or 7-second hang time and only went maybe 50 yards (about a 1:7 ratio).

- Number of consecutive shots in sand traps.  I broke my record last time I played.  I was in a trap on the left side of a green.  Hit it fat for one shot...ball went a couple of feet (wet sand).  Hit it thin the next shot...ball scooted forward, hit the lip, and bounced back.  Hit it perfect the next shot...well...assuming I wanted to land in the center of the green and roll across the other side to another sand trap.  Finally hit it on the green from that bunker.  Four consecutive shots from bunkers (and two different bunkers at that).

- Number of multiple hazards hit into on the same shot.  I only got a 2 on this one.  Par 3, elevated tee over small pond, slightly elevated green on the other side with a shallow sand trap in front.  Somehow I managed to blade my ball, it buzzed the water, skipped a couple of times (first time I'd seen a golf ball skip on the water), hit the hard ground on the far bank, bounced, rolled through the bunker (lucky there was no significant lip) and popped out barely on the fringe of the green.

- Number of fairways hit, not including the ones you were playing at the time.  I don't keep track, but I'm betting I hit at least 2 or 3 every time I play.

- Number of times a given shot distance is equal to or greater than the distance to the pin times 2.  For instance, you're hitting a pitch 30 yards from the pin and you hit it so thin that it flies/rolls 60+ yards, goes past the pin (and green in most cases) leaving you at least another 30 yard shot.  I do this a lot from bunkers, and sometimes do it on approach shots with the help of cart paths and rocks.

- Number of times you've had to go backward on the course at least 1/2 a hole to get the club you left on the last tee/fairway/green.

- Number of times you've made it through a round without having to use a single ball cleaner because any ball that had a chance to get dirty ended up getting lost before you made it to the next tee.

- Number of times you've been less than 150 yards out, waited for a group ahead to finish putting (you know...so you wouldn't hit them when you miraculously hit your first GIR of the season) and end up embarrassing yourself when you can't cover at least 1/2 that distance on your shot.

I could go on--oh man, can I go on.

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clearwaterms Great Member

clearwaterms

Originally Posted by dave67az

- Number of fairways hit, not including the ones you were playing at the time.  I don't keep track, but I'm betting I hit at least 2 or 3 every time I play.

- Number of times a given shot distance is equal to or greater than the distance to the pin times 2.  For instance, you're hitting a pitch 30 yards from the pin and you hit it so thin that it flies/rolls 60+ yards, goes past the pin (and green in most cases) leaving you at least another 30 yard shot.  I do this a lot from bunkers, and sometimes do it on approach shots with the help of cart paths and rocks.

These two were the best.

# of times you are further from the pin than the previous shot.

# of times you hit the wrong fairway.

  • Upvote 1

In my bag:

some golf clubs

a few golf balls

a bag of tee's some already broken the rest soon to be

a snickers wrapper (if you have seen me play, you would know you are not going anywhere for a while)

and an empty bottle of water

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Motley01 Great Member

Motley01

This thread has so much win.

Just think about it, if the goal of the game was to try and slice the ball 50 yards, do you understand how hard that would be.

Crazy game.

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha 10.5* 

3WD:  Callaway Big Bertha 15* / X2 Hot H4 Hybrid
Irons:  Callaway Apex 4-PW Project X 5.5 shafts

Wedges: Callaway MackDaddy 2  52/58
Putter: Odyessey Metal X Milled 1

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Originally Posted by Motley01

This thread has so much win.

Just think about it, if the goal of the game was to try and slice the ball 50 yards, do you understand how hard that would be.

Crazy game.

Bubba Watson could stay pro.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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sacm3bill Great Member

sacm3bill

Originally Posted by colin007

I'd have more to say but Kate Upton is calling me back to the bedroom...


Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

Bill

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Teamanglerx Well Established Member

Teamanglerx

I'll add a couple of more fun new contests:

The distance the ball goes backwards after hitting the tree 10 yards in front of you.

How many skips your ball can take across the water before sinking 5 feet in front of dry land.

And new stats:

TIR - Trees In Regulation

NSS - Not Sand Saves

OSPR - Obscenities Said Per Round

  • Upvote 1

In my bag:

Driver: Covert Performance
Super Hybrid : :nike: 2H - 17* Covert Performance

Irons: :nike:Covert 4I - PW

Wedges: :nike:X3X Wedges (52*, 56*, 60*)

Putter: Method Core 1i

Ball: :nike:One RZN

Upgrading Always.

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colin007 Incredible Member

colin007

Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

I had to look Morgan Fairchild up on wiki and I still don't get it...?

Colin P.

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dave67az Dedicated Member

dave67az

Originally Posted by Teamanglerx

I'll add a couple of more fun new contests:

The distance the ball goes backwards after hitting the tree 10 yards in front of you.

How many skips your ball can take across the water before sinking 5 feet in front of dry land.

And new stats:

TIR - Trees In Regulation

NSS - Not Sand Saves

OSPR - Obscenities Said Per Round

Need some clarification please.

For TIRs, what, exactly, is regulation?  Does that mean on a par-5, only trees hit on the first 3 shots count?  Also, if you get a solid hit on one tree trunk and it caroms of a second tree trunk, does that count as one or two?

And for OSPRs, is "FORE" considered an obscenity?  Because when I have to yell "FORE" I sure as hell yell it like it's an obscenity.  Nice thing is, when I'm in one of those conservative groups that doesn't swear a lot (not sure what they're doing on a golf course, but that's another topic) yelling "FORE" is about the only time I get to swear at a volume I'm comfortable with.

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Teamanglerx Well Established Member

Teamanglerx

Originally Posted by dave67az

Need some clarification please.

For TIRs, what, exactly, is regulation?  Does that mean on a par-5, only trees hit on the first 3 shots count?  Also, if you get a solid hit on one tree trunk and it caroms of a second tree trunk, does that count as one or two?

And for OSPRs, is "FORE" considered an obscenity?  Because when I have to yell "FORE" I sure as hell yell it like it's an obscenity.  Nice thing is, when I'm in one of those conservative groups that doesn't swear a lot (not sure what they're doing on a golf course, but that's another topic) yelling "FORE" is about the only time I get to swear at a volume I'm comfortable with.

TIRs - I see your point.  I think we will change it to TPR - Trees Per Round.  If the ball hits one tree and caroms into another the 2nd tree counts as well.  I like this because once I hit four trees with the same shot so my stats would be through the roof!

As for OSPRs "Fore" is not considered an obscenity unless its proceeded by "Aw, S&*t- FORE!"

In my bag:

Driver: Covert Performance
Super Hybrid : :nike: 2H - 17* Covert Performance

Irons: :nike:Covert 4I - PW

Wedges: :nike:X3X Wedges (52*, 56*, 60*)

Putter: Method Core 1i

Ball: :nike:One RZN

Upgrading Always.

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Motley01 Great Member

Motley01

This is so hilairous. I must have spit my drink up multiple times now. Keep it coming guys, so entertaining!

I have one to add. The longest you can hit the ball, without ever making contact with the ball. How much earth you can move.

  • Upvote 1

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha 10.5* 

3WD:  Callaway Big Bertha 15* / X2 Hot H4 Hybrid
Irons:  Callaway Apex 4-PW Project X 5.5 shafts

Wedges: Callaway MackDaddy 2  52/58
Putter: Odyessey Metal X Milled 1

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sacm3bill Great Member

sacm3bill

Originally Posted by colin007

Quote:

Originally Posted by sacm3bill

Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

I had to look Morgan Fairchild up on wiki and I still don't get it...?


It's from the Jon Lovitz "Liar Guy" skits from SNL - really big back in the day.

Bill

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  • 8 months later...
nbluesky Member

nbluesky

I see this is an old thread but I had to say quite entertaining, why not bump it to the top for some more laughs. I was reminded of personal favorite....LBH - Lost Balls per Hole! Nothing like hitting 7 off the tee!!

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Motley01 Great Member

Motley01

Oh ya! I remember this thread. Very funny stuff.

I have one. Most uses of the chainsaw per round.

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha 10.5* 

3WD:  Callaway Big Bertha 15* / X2 Hot H4 Hybrid
Irons:  Callaway Apex 4-PW Project X 5.5 shafts

Wedges: Callaway MackDaddy 2  52/58
Putter: Odyessey Metal X Milled 1

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  • 3 months later...
Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

YUUUUUPP... I Think I Have Arrived So They Tell Me, I Have Finally Perfected The Shank... ,I Can Hook Them Every Time...LOL

Why Do You Capitalize Every Word In That You Type? Is This Some Sort Of New Fangled Grammar Rule That I'm Unaware Of?

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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Abu3baid Great Member

Abu3baid

Why Do You Capitalize Every Word In That You Type? Is This Some Sort Of New Fangled Grammar Rule That I'm Unaware Of?

I'm starting to wonder if it is an automatic setting on what ever device he is using because I have seen this with his other posts as well!

:adams: / :tmade: / :edel: / :aimpoint: / :ecco: / :bushnell: / :gamegolf: / 

Eyad

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Note: This thread is 3198 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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