Tech Support Joke

[Old Pro]

Haven't seen this here, so I thought I'd post it for all of the ladies and for the men to show to their wives.  

See a response from our Tech Support.

Dear Tech Support, 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 

What can I do? 

Signed, 
Desperate.

 

DEAR DESPERATE, 

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. 
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 

However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck Babe! 

Tech Support

Dear Desparate,

We apologize, there were a few errors in the information our tech support provided to you.

To clarify:

The command ithoughtyoulovedme.html and Tears 6.2 do not preform as well as some of our Junior engineers expected they would.

After years of beta testing these, we have had several reports from other users that have identified some bugs.

Unfortunately, use of these two will install Grumpy Silence 2.5 

Furthermore, if Nagging 5.3 or the Guilt 3.0 update is used in most cases we have seen Grumpy Silence 2.5 get overwritten with Complete Stonewalling 4.0 and will not allow Personal Attention 6.5 to be reinstalled without system failure.

However, some of the information or technician provided you with was right on.

Husband 1.0 is a great program, it does have limited memory and is sluggish when adapting new applications. You can improve memory and performance limitlessly with the following additional Motivation applications: Cooking 3.0, Hot Lingerie 7.7, Praise 6.5 and Encouragement 8.4 

With proper use of Husband 1.0, it will begin running it's own upgrades and auto reinstalling previously uninstalled applications with upgrades such as: Conversation 9.0, Romance 11.2, Personal Attention 7.0 as well as additional entertainment applications like Love Letters 9.0, Romantic Getaway 12.0.

We have also discovered that in a few instances Husband 1.0 will auto install additional maintenance applications such as Housecleaning 2.2, Remodeling 4.4.

This appears to depend on how often you use Motivation applications previously mentioned.

Again, we apologize for any confusion.

P.S. Don't forget to initiate antivirus applications we recommend Hot Sex version 69.0 once a month and Positive Words 9.2 daily to protect against viruses like Affair 1.1 and Porn 3.0 these can easily turn your Husband 1.0 OS into the XHusband 1.0 application. We have also discovered that the more often any version of Hot Sex is ran, the better the Husband 1.0 will perform in all areas. Several users have reported that running Hot Sex four times a week has turned their Husband 1.0 into a SuperComputer capable of multitasking and running several desirable applications at once.

Thanks,
Tech Support Senior Management

[boogielicious]

Excellent!

[dennyjones]

Nice!

[Buckeyebowman]

Outstanding!