I'm a woman, 6' tall. It's all about swing speed, what feels good, and how well you can control it. Rogues are on sale right now and they're a good driver. I assume that's your reason for choosing them.
The men's Callaway Rogue driver is 45.5". The women's is 44.5". But there really is no standard. It's all about what works best for you.
I play a Callaway Great Big Bertha Epic and cut the shaft to 44.5" for control. I use a "men's" R shaft because of my swing speed which is in the low mid-90s.
If yours is in the range of 80 - 95 you can use a Regular flex shaft. If it's in the 75 - 85 mph range you can use a men's light flex shaft (they don't call it senior anymore... lol because people don't want to feel old). Women's flex is for speeds below 75. You'll find this out when you go on a launch monitor at the golf shop. You'll do this before you buy the club, right? Make sure you're fit for the club.
Here's the deal, if the 45.5" is too long, you can always have the shaft "butt cut" 1". It will make the club feel lighter to swing but won't reduce the mass of the club head at all. You do not have to add lead tape to the club head and bring up the swing weight. But before you do that I'd wrap some electrical tape around the butt end of the grip about 1/8" thick with the bottom of that 1" down from the end of the grip. Then take it to the range, maybe play a practice round or two with it and see if you like that. If you liked it better longer, it's easy to remove the tape.
This isn't poor etiquette. It's common sense. The only time this is an issue is if you strike when someone else finally decides to strike at that same moment after 30 practice swings. Then it's your fault for sure
Most golfers select a SW for the bunker conditions they face most often. Then, you can make adjustments for the odd course you play.
If you normally have firm sand and play a course with soft sand, you can still get it out if you have good technique - you may not get it as close. It's about trade-offs.
Not that many amateur players have a second SW with different bounce.
In high school I learned with the interlocking grip which was never comfortable for me. Years later after reading Hogan I switched to the overlapping grip. This took a year or two before I was comfortable, but still felt better for me. My hands are about the same size as "The Golden Bear's" which is average to small.
As I got older, I wasn't comfortable again so about 10-15 years ago I switched to the ten finger grip. Now in my mid-60's, this is very comfortable for me. Each change took a year or two before it felt natural.
Enjoy the progress of your adjustments. There are other changes too as we get older, strengths, injuries, flexibility, aggressiveness, etc that require us to make modifications in how we play this great game.