Getting a Good Mindset....Lost Confidence

[Yanks Fan]

On Tuesday I played with 3 of my buddies who are decent golfers. I played the first 4 holes by myself cause they started before me cause I got there late and I caught them in no time. First four holes I was 3 over (should have been 2 over but missed a easy putt) and was playing great golf. Hit 3 of 3 fairways, every shot seemed to do exactly what I wanted. But when I finally joined up with them on hole 5, I went down hill quick, real quick. Instead of being very confident on every shot, I felt unconfident and completely lost my swing. The rest of the round, I missed every fairway and even pulled a snowman on a 350yd par 4 . I find that this has been happening lately and that my scores are going up as well and I don't know why.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What did you do?

[Dent]

Are you trying to hard to impress your buddies? You know that they are watching you so you try harder to make a good shot.

[MPS67]

Hey Yanks Fan,

Don't feel bad about this as many of us have experienced the same, and it's definitely something you can work through.

It sounds like you have a minor case of social anxiety where you fear playing poorly, looking stupid, and feeling embarrassed in front of your friends or others. It's especially frustrating when you know that you're a better golfer than what you've displayed. I'd suggest to try out some of the following as they may help out a little:

1) There will be many occasions where you'll have time in between your shots to think about your game, your swing mechanics, and even you previous bad shots. During these times, try instead to relax and socialize with your friends, and keep your mind off the game until it's your turn. Try not to allow any negative thoughts to enter your mind.

2) If you haven't already done so, create a routine when addressing your ball and stick to it every time. Don't think about more than one swing thought. After a while, your address will feel natural and become so automatic that it'll become a positive experience instead of the opposite where you may fear hitting a bad shot into the woods, for example.

3) Play one shot at a time, and don't look back at any of the previous shots;they're water under the bridge. Keep in mind that if you make a mistake with your one shot in front of your friends, it's won't spell doom, and they won't think any less of you.

4) While you're addressing the ball, pick out a particular object as your target and place a lot of focus on it. This will help suppress any negatives and set up your subconscious into helping your body achieve a productive swing in order to achieve the goal.

5) If you hit a poor shot, don't get upset, but simply think that you're closer to the hole. feeling anger, frustration, embarrassment, and any anxiety will tense up your muscles and may cause you to try and swing harder. You want to swing within your capacity, maybe within 80% or less, in order to strike with balance.

6) If nothing above seems to help, do what Marcia Brady did, and that is imagine your friends in their underwear.

Beat of luck

[Yanks Fan]

Dent, I feel like that could be right but I don't know why I would be doing that.

MPS, thanks for the big list of things I can start to focus more on instead of my last shot. I guess I need to just relax more out there and not expect every shot to be what I wanted.

[bigoak]

Does pace of play affect your game? Personally when pace is slow, I play poorly. but there are some who play poorly if rushed. My last 71 was when I played in less than 3 hours.

I am sure that when you were trying to catch up that you were not overthinking and over planning but were just moving along which might be your best scoring mode.

[Yanks Fan]

Does pace of play affect your game? Personally when pace is slow, I play poorly. but there are some who play poorly if rushed. My last 71 was when I played in less than 3 hours.

Pace of play does affect my play. My PB was shot when I played a round in about 3-3.5 hours with a buddy of mine. I'm sure that had something to do with my poor playing as well.

[Jamboboy]

I have exactly the same problem, although I am a complete rookie, one of my biggest problems is being stood over the ball and being so concious of being watched by players better than me. I also start to get annoyed with myself and then make mistakes. I have to take a real big step back and relax to snap out of it.

[Long_Ball_Bogey]

I tend to have a similar problem at times, but unlike what some of the other posters have noted, I discovered that my issue was that while playing by myself I focus completely on the task at hand & can easily get the job done. However, when I played with others--especially when I catch someone or allow them to catch me, I lose a bit of that focus in exchange for a bit of socializing. It has taken a while, but I've gotten better at recognizing this. My fix is to welcome the challenge of playing with others and showing myself that I can still perform under this "pressure". I'm not always successful, but I've noticed a drastic improvement. So...as an earlier poster stated, once it's your turn to pull the trigger, block those guys out and do your thing. --LBB

[Dent]

Dent, I feel like that could be right but I don't know why I would be doing that.

It's a mystery, they are your buddies, of course they are going to laugh. You are detering your mind from focusing on your shot, and thinking about if your friends are watching or not.

Pretend they aren't there, focus on your shot and take a deep breath. Its just a matter of having confidence, thats all I can say. Think to yourself that your going to make a nice shot. It's hard to explain, You just have to know that you aren't there to impress. Good luck.

[adams603]

I used to do the same thing, I would stand over the ball way to long thinking about everything but hitting the ball. Now I stand behind the ball get a good grip and focus on where I'm aiming. Take a few practice swings then address the ball and hit. I found that when I was at the range I could do this and have no problems but when I got on the course I tensed up. I was too tight and lost focus. Give it a try, hope it helps.

[erwintrace08]

Hi Yanks Fan,

Just curious, how do you play in tournaments with everyone watching? I already think tournaments are tough because if it's best ball, everyone is watching for you to hit. 1) Your team hits all their 3 shots bad and you're the only hope left 2) They say, "putt it right here" pointing to a spot, but everyone has different speeds (aggressive vs. playing the break).

e

[Yanks Fan]

I've only played in one tournament before, and it was a 9 hole best ball format. I did pretty good, especially with the pressure on me. I had a couple putts where I was last to go and we needed to make it to stay with the other groups and I sunk them.

[erwintrace08]

That sounds good. Sounds like if you take those same thoughts and bring it out to golf with your friends, you'll do fine. Or just think of the pressure to make the shot rather than the pressure from your buddies.

Hope that helps a little and you can fix it. I have my own swing thought issues. LOL