How Much Grief Do You Get for Playing Golf?

[Slim 11]

It's pretty much accepted that I will play once a week. Sometimes I sneak in a weekday, if I can get out of work or another weekend round. Generally, the wife has no issues with it. Sometimes she will give me shit for being a lazy ass the rest of the day (golf can be exhausting) but I usually deserve that.
She will golf with me sometimes and I get the kids out now and again.

Every now and then I hit the wrong day and she is just in a mood...On those days I tend to get a lot of calls on my cell about really insignificant things and the conversation (brief because I hate phones on the course, but have it in case of an emergency) usually ends with a question about when I think I'll be done or what hole I am on. The calls usually screw my game up for a hole or two also.

All in all though, she's pretty good about it.

[Chief Broom]

I play golf with a group of older guys for skins (im 21, they are all like 45-70)

Ha! Good Fun!

Those probably aren't the guys you want to be taking advice from about women and being married. Truth be told it is never a good idea to ignore your spouse when she is upset about something. Marriage is about working together and making each other happy. That works both ways so your desire to golf is important too, but don't get so wrapped up in it that you don't take heed of your spouse's wishes. Remember she has something else you like that some might say is even better than golf, and if you aren't doing what it takes to keep her happy chances are eventually she'll be more than happy to see you go off to golf and somebody else might be having that fun. Which leads us right back to those older dudes you've been playing golf with...

[cigarnut81]

I am single for these very reasons!! I can not stand it when "she" tries to control my time!! I believe it is very important to spend time apart as well as together!! I have not yet found that woman that wants me to go away for a few hours a couple of times a week!!When I do I will be a happy man!!

[Fourputt]

being single I dont have to deal with this. My sister gives my brother in law crazy grief and he barely even plays (like once a month)

Spoken like someone who hasn't got a clue. If you maintain that attitude, it's doubtful that you will ever have a meaningful relationship. Trust me, even without kids there is plenty to keep you occupied on many weekends without going near a golf course. Simply keeping up a house and yard (it's way more than just mowing the lawn, trust me

) is going to cut into some of your playtime . I cut back on golf time for some 13 years until I retired because there simply weren't enough hours in the day to do everything I wanted to do. There was no pressure from her to do so, the choice was mine. We are also scuba divers (we met working and teaching classes at a local dive shop), so that is the activity that we did together for much of our early relationship, and what we do on most vacations. I've always played golf with my wife occasionally (we are in a Friday evening 9 hole couples league), but while I was working 50+ hour weeks, golf had to take a back seat to real life. Most of my playing time during that period was restricted to Men's Club tournaments and an occasional Saturday playing with her and her father. If you ever reach the point in your life where you have to make that decision, maybe you will understand what I'm talking about. I've never had any reason to regret the choices I've made in this regard, and hopefully you will find such a point in your life too. Believe me, there is far more to life than golf ( shocking, I know, but there it is).

[MiniMoe]

I used to get a lot of grief, but we have an understanding now. Saturday is my day.. Sunday is her day. If I don't play Saturday because she wants to do something, then I get to play Sunday after church.

[chriskzoo]

You would not believe the grief I get - although it has not subsided into acceptance and her just giving me grief with body language. Last summer we just moved back to Michigan where all ym golf buddies are, so of course I'm playing more (which was almost never) than when we lived out of state.

I play in a 9-hole league once a week, which I purposely got into because it is everyone from my neighborhood and it was a good way to meet people. Now in addition to that, you would think that golfing every other weekend was the end of the world.

Now, granted we have a 4 year-old, a 2 year-old, and an 8 month old, but is it seriously too much to ask to not be given grief for golfing with friends one morning or evening every other weekend? Everytime I talk about doing something golf related I get that "OK, I guess I'll just take care of the kids by myself then" look - and this is even if I goto the range for 30 minutes.

[NM Golf]

Well, I have pretty much set up my life to make it as golf friendly as possible. My job allows for a lot of golf. I used to have a job that made me work 60 hours a week, so I went back to school to get a job that gave me the most freedom possible.

I don't do anything but hang out with my family, work and play golf. Any other hobby would take time away from golf so I had to prioritize.

I got a second job at a golf course so there is never any talk about the money aspect.

I play very early in the morning so I use as little family time as possible.

That being said, yes I still get some grief, but I just don't give a . I work hard, I am a good father, so I can take the first few hours of the weekend and play golf. If she doesn't like it, well thats her problem. She has my undivided attention M-F after 5 PM and every weekend after 11 or 12.

[Chief Broom]

Wow, you guys are playing with fire. You'll learn one way or another. There is no shortage in the world of divorced guys whos ex's and kids hate their guts. The sad thing in this is that a lot of guys never realize how good they've got it until it's too late.

[Jared]

Now, granted we have a 4 year-old, a 2 year-old, and an 8 month old,

Have you tried taking the four year old to the range with you? When my boy was very young (18 months or so), he was always with me. I would set him up with a bucket of his own, and avoided lots of grief from the missus. The ancillary benefit is now, at age 14, he loves the game. He took his first lesson last week (he is now getting serious about getting better), and I will have a regular playing partner within a few months.

[Windmill]

"My wife is class,she never complains when i play golf,even though she does'nt
play she loves watching it and knows all the players.If i am not there she will still watch it."
I got scared there for a second. I thought we were married to the same woman until I read that you're in CA. Whew! My wife actually suggests that I play, especially when floating around her when she's trying to get something done. It works! just breathe down her neck until she can't take it any longer and literally offers to drive you to the course.

[billysandy]

I get most of it from my school friends and they act like they are intersted but i know they are thinking in their heads that i am posh or something. That's the stereotype here in the UK - you play golf - people think you are stuck up, rich, posh, and the rest. I hate it.

[Dpricenator]

Wow, you guys are playing with fire. You'll learn one way or another. There is no shortage in the world of divorced guys whos ex's and kids hate their guts. The sad thing in this is that a lot of guys never realize how good they've got it until it's too late.

I have not heard anyone in here who is playing with fire. My wife might give me grief for wanting to paly all the time, but it would never come to divorce. I think most of the married with kids guys in here said they do thier best to schedule properly as to not take up too much family time. We all work hard and provide. A little ME time is as important as family time.

[NM Golf]

Wow, you guys are playing with fire. You'll learn one way or another. There is no shortage in the world of divorced guys whos ex's and kids hate their guts. The sad thing in this is that a lot of guys never realize how good they've got it until it's too late.

I am not playing with fire at all. Personally I think people who allow their spouses to control them will end up unhappy. That goes for both men and women. I certainly do not tell my wife what she can and cannot do. I expect the same in return.

And as far as not knowing how good I had it until it was gone, well if my wife had that big of a problem with me doing what I love then she is what needs to be gone. Like I said before, I do everything in my power to make sure that I can play golf and miss as very little family time as possible. I would probably rather play golf at 11 and go out for beers with my buddies afterward, but that would be an extremely selfish thing to do especially as much as I play. Just like I think it would be selfish on her part to deny me my super early morning rounds since she is still asleep. I have been divorced once. My first wife gave me an ultimatum "golf or me". I left the next day. We are actually still friends. It worked out best for the both of us. If golf breaks up your marriage then chances are there were other even more serious issues as well. Basically it comes down to being considerate and supportive to your better half. Be considerate in you own pursuits and supportive of theirs.

[laconic517]

I am not playing with fire at all. Personally I think people who allow their spouses to control them will end up unhappy. That goes for both men and women. I certainly do not tell my wife what she can and cannot do. I expect the same in return.

Personally I feel the same way as this. I dont like being controlled at all so i have never been or would be in a serious relationship with someone that wanted to control me. Nobody answered my questions about what they do on a saturday/sunday morning thats so vital that you cant play golf. If its work related thats one thing, or if the 2 of you have another hobby together or something. But if its just running errands and such or lounging around the house and you arent looking after your children or something thats a joke. Spending time together is one thing, your spouse/significant other trying to control you and not having somewhat of their own life is a completely different story. I dont think its healthy for people to not be a part sometimes and have their own hobbies and such. Its great to have someone who can participate in them with you but sometimes people just need to be able to do their own thing. Maybe thats why im not getting married for quite some time =)

[nathan]

I am not playing with fire at all. Personally I think people who allow their spouses to control them will end up unhappy. That goes for both men and women. I certainly do not tell my wife what she can and cannot do. I expect the same in return.

I completely agree. Being married does not mean you become 1 person. You should still have some interests of your own. However you do still have to be a good dad/mom husband/wife and not be selfish about your hobby.

My wife and I both have hobbies and we both spend about the same amount of time at them without neglecting each other or our children.

[lhshurdl3r]

Grief, yes.. when I hit off the tee. For some reason I struggle greatly off the tee. Mainly with my driver, and sometimes with my 3wood. I don't like hitting irons off the tee unless it's a par 3.

Off of the tee I hit my irons great as well as woods. And my short game is getting much better.

My only grief from playing golf is when I'm on the tee. It sucks.

[mapa94]

I also try to play very early once a week on Sat or Sun and am home by 10am. My wife used to complain a bit but now she enjoys that she and my daughter can sleep in. They now ask if if I'm playing golf "tomorrow" and seem disappointed if I say no. I catch greif if I try to play on both weekend days.

In my opinion, you need to establish a routine for playing golf...she will adapt to it. If she still gives your grief you have no choice but to leave her :)