Your favorite -- or least favorite -- golf clichés

[mapa94]

When hitting the green, but far from the stick:

The variation I've heard on this is: "You're on the dance floor....but your hanging with the fat chicks."

[thebignasty]

i dont like the "you nutted that" or when someone hits a wedge or iron into a green and yells "spin" as its landing, like its actually going to listen to his call.

my new thing is if i hit a good iron shot i say "pured it" and if i hit a drive well i "smAshed" and you pernounce the A like if your just saying the letter a.

[TheLauncher]

I just remembered one of the ones I like today:

"birdshit".

[RC]

Short putt, maybe three or four feet, and you miss it. And your hear, "Man that looked good right up until you hit it."

And, "There was a study at (name the university you want to denigrate) that concluded that 98 percent of putts that are short don't go in."

Then then there is my favorite... when a really good golfer hits a completely bad putt and says, "Get in the hole" in jest.

[paddlefoot]

If I hit (or the person I'm playing with) hits the ball into the trees three or four times, I'll say, "Dang, there must be a naked lady in those trees". It usually gets a good laugh.


Also, if/when I hit a bad shot...I'll say, "Son of mother!" It sounds very vulgar when you say it out loud, but when you think about it it's not vulgar at all....

[Travtex]

It took me under a week to get sick of "You're on the wrong side of the ball! Hurhur!"

I do like me some sarcasm, though. My golf bud and I will pretty regularly be digging through the brush some 200 yards from the green hunting an errant shot; "Maybe it went in the hole."

[Eeryck]

I have a new favorite:

When your playing partners call good shot and the result ends up in trouble, short, in a trap, etc.

"Get your mouth off my ball!"

[pxc]

A friend of mine tells me my crap golf skills just mean I'm getting more value per shot than he is. I haven't decided if I like it or not.

I told a friend yesterday when he hit his ball down into a stream under a bridge "It's gone now, the trolls got it". He seemed to think it was funny. He did find about 10 balls under there though.

[SKMoss]

Glanced through the 9 pages and didn't see these three.

My brother taught me. "EA" - Elephants Ass - High and Stinky (apologies to the language police)

"Look up, f' up" Heard this one time and have never lifted my head since.

"The saddest words in golf they say, are 'Go ahead, you're still away!'"

[billm408]

I dislike anyone talking to my ball (except me of course). I don't care how good the shot looks - only I know if I hit it right or got away with it, and at impact I know how much it's going to draw or cut.

One of my buddy's favorite lines. We picked up a 4th and he felt the need to comment on almost every shot. Finally my friend looked at him and said; "If you're not gonna lick my balls, then don't talk to them."

Some of my favorites; A Blondie- fair crack up the middle A Cher- thin and ugly but still working A Rosanne- fat & ugly BIPSICYOYO- Ball in pocket, sitting in cart, you're on your own

[Parker0065]

Here's some I like and still use today:

."Nice Wedge Shot" - Back in Highschool on the golf team if a guy popped up his drive.

"I've never seen one that far right before" - Actually was said by Ken Venturi during a broadcast when a pro hit it into the adjacent fairway, but I started using it on my brother if he missed the fairway by any margin,lol.

"Hit it Alice" - Another one from Highschool golf that we used if a putt came up short. I have no idea who Alice is??


Here's one I don't like:

"Get in the Hole" - this rates up there with you-da-man but I started laughing out loud this year while watching the players championship. Tiger had hit a bad drive on a par 5 in the left rough and had over 250 yards to the hole. He pulls out a 9-iron to layup and it was pretty obvious he was laying up,,lol. Right at impact I hear someone scream, "Get In The Hole",,,,lol,,,,They really should monitor the alcohol intake of the Tiger Circus Freaks!

[strahanfan92]

One guy I play with, says the same lines everytime I've played with him. Such as "Smoke em if you got em", and "Sally" whenever he or I short a putt.

I laugh everytime I hear them just cause I like expect them.



I hate when people say "Bite Bite" on their approach shot, as if those words are really gonna change where the ball is going.



And I absolutely hate when an announcer says, "that was a good golf shot". As if I mistaked what I am watching for a basketball game.

[chspeed]

Hate:
-When someone says "Nice Shot!" when your ball is still in the air, and hasn't had a chance to slice or hook into the trees yet.
-When someone tells your ball to "bite" when you blade a shot over the green.
-"I hit the big ball first"

Why do people you're playing against pretend to root for your ball? When I'm playing a match with my friends and they hit their ball close to the trees, I'll beg it to go in. At least I'm being honest :)

Favorites:
-Tell opponent to "Knock it close" on an important putt.
-"Every shot makes someone happy"

[vaborn7795]

Never really thought about it, but now that I do I always tell the guy I play with..."Nice up"...after his approach shot...That seems a little annoying!!!

Maybe I could start screaming "Boo-Yah!!!!" That wouldn't be the least bit annoying....

[Where's the Cart Girl?]

A few that let me know I'm playing with the right guys...

"Morbidly obese" - a biiit too heavy.

"Playing it safe?" - put one in the water.

"Good lag." - was clearly trying to make it.

"Anybody hear where that went?"

"Ahhh, caught a flyer." - bladed chip shot from the fringe/fairway

"Eh, it was a tough lie." - tee shot
(note:could be substituted with "Damn mud-ball.")

[rwfastrax]

current favorite "be the right club TODAY!" I know that's probably someone's least favorite too.

least favorite...anything sarcastic about a shot ending up in the sand being good...ex "nice shot...right on the beach"

[Saint]

I've said be the right club today a couple of times. Like when you have a pinseeker, and you really cant tell if its going to be short or long.
Another one i say is if i hit a shot that i can tell is going past the flag, I'll say "come on baby, bite."
I also like the term saddam hussein golf. Means your going from one bunker to another.

[trumps4]

I'm ok with most of these as long as they are not overused. For example, one guy I play with says "one time." EVERY time a player has a putt of more than 15 feet and rolls it within 5 feet. If we are on the 18th green and he says "one time" it is safe to say that he has said it at least fourteen times already. That kinda gets on my nervous.

I don't mind "be right," "Be good," or "Be the number." But "be the right club today" seems to be flat out copying Hal Sutton. That might annoy me if I ever heard it from someone other than him. It is synonymous with him IMO.

I agree with Iacas. I don't really like anyone talking to my ball in flight except me. I would never say anything about it but I don't care for it.

I'd say my favorite is "got all of that one." Does not matter if it is in sarcastic or serious context.