So I finally told the slow guy in our group he was slow...

[Norm66]

And not surprisingly he didn't know.

Some guys from work have been playing 18 on Wednesday nights all summer long, but the later in the year we get, the closer to 5 hours it's taking us. Several regulars have bailed out due to one particular guy's cluelessly slow play and the rest are looking for ways to not play with him anymore.

I'm talking about the type of guy who won't take advice, claims not to be able to afford lessons (though he has 'a guy' who gives him tips) and claims to hit balls three times a week at the range. He's a 10+ year player who I've never seen break 110. He's got a wicked slice, tops the ball, hits fat shots, golfs like a fish (can't stay out of the water), chips over the green (and back and again), rolls putts 20 feet past the hole etc. To boot he hovers over every shot like a mother hen waiting for her eggs to hatch and spends too much time looking for lost balls.

All that and he calls cheating (not taking proper penalty strokes, fixing his lie, moving the ball a club length away to get a flatter lie etc. "gentleman's golf".

The hard part with telling him of the problem is that I have to work with the guy and don't really want to have to walk on eggshells all the time around him at work. But he wasn't getting the hints: "Come on, drop a ball it's getting dark", "Take your time, but Hurry Up!", "Hit the ball Sergio!" etc. and had the gall to say the others of our group were slow. LOL

Not really looking for advice, but I figured if anyone would have sympathy it'd be you guys.

cheers!

[Dent]

I do have pure sympathy for you. I have a friend whos realy slow too and I try to give him hints to hurry up. Or i just flat out tell him. I never really realized how annoying slow play is.

[putterboy]

It takes a lot of guts to do what you did and as you found out he didnt know. Also because he wasn't angry it sounds like you did it in a constructive way. Congrats to a tactful solution and helping everyone on the course benefit from your work

[Norm66]

It takes a lot of guts to do what you did and as you found out he didnt know. Also because he wasn't angry it sounds like you did it in a constructive way. Congrats to a tactful solution and helping everyone on the course benefit from your work

Oh, I wouldn't say he wasn't angry. I tried to be tactful but there's not a lot you can do to varnish that turd. I just hope he speeds it up rather than just not playing with us anymore. Those eggshells again.

Thanks guys.

[easygrip]

How did he respond?

[Norm66]

How did he respond?

He got defensive and mentioned how all the rest of us were slow too. I just asked him how many times I was asked to just drop a ball or to hurry up. There just wasn't any way to be kind about it, but I tried hard not to be overly rude. Oh well.

[JKilgore44]

I hate it when you get put into a situation like that where you're forced to tell someone to hurry up. My main playing partner gets like that sometimes when he's playing poorly. He'll pull out his cell phone and start text messaging people while he's walking to his ball and it really slows down our pace. I don't mind people handling their personal buisness on the golf course, but don't slow your group down to do it. So anyway, to fix the problem, I will walk up to my ball (which is generally 20-30yds ahead) and start preparing to hit my shot. When he looks up and sees me waiting there watching him he usually gets the idea.

[Norm66]

So anyway, to fix the problem, I will walk up to my ball (which is generally 20-30yds ahead) and start preparing to hit my shot. When he looks up and sees me waiting there watching him he usually gets the idea.

Oh we were constantly doing that. Playing total ready golf is the only way we got done in 5 hours. Had we waited on the farthest guy out to hit all the time I'd still be there now.

I felt like I had to be the guy to tell him though becuase I was the one that got the Wednesday night golf club going with the guys from work. I thought I was responsible.

[stevestrike]

He's a 10+ year player who I've never seen break 110. He's got a wicked slice, tops the ball, hits fat shots, golfs like a fish (can't stay out of the water), chips over the green (and back and again), rolls putts 20 feet past the hole etc.

The problem is that when you're shooting so poorly (sounds like he's 125+) the game just isn't fun when you have to stick to all those rules. You guys should be grateful that he improves his lie because he sure isn't going to hit it out of THAT lie.

I know when I was an absolute beginner, which I would say this guy is, you have to just worry about making contact. Forget penalty strokes, proper ball drops, or playing the ball up. I just want to hit the ball. It was only after I started to improve that I was able to play by the rules, and enjoy the game while doing so. They represented a challenge at the point, and not an impossible obstacle. FWIW we play with a guy here at work for tournaments sometimes. He's slow, tops the ball, has a wicked duck hook, etc... He won't take lessons, so it's just a matter of either putting up with it, or playing with someone else. Good luck!

[despereaux]

This is what we tell folks who play slow because they are new/bad:

"Its okay to stink - just stink fast!"

[JustMe]

And not surprisingly he didn't know.

I've seen tourneys where my kid or some other kid will say to the group...we need to pick it up...we're playing slow. I've seen tourneys last from 5 hours to, yes, 7.5 hours for 18 in 100 degree heat. Now that wasn't their fault, the group in front of them was slow. But back on topic, I think you handled it very well.

[WhiteSoxFan]

This is what we tell folks who play slow because they are new/bad:

We had some issues earlier in the season with slow play in my league. Since then our league has a new motto: "SUCK FAST!"

[$2 Nassau]

I can relate...I told a friend earlier this year that he was slower than death. It was easy though (kind of) b/c we're the type of friends that always bust each other's balls anyway. Although he was surprised when I said it and also was surprised at how serious I was and how much it annoyed me.

I just told him that next time we play together he needs to take a cart b/c he walks like a 90 year old lady and takes forever to get to his ball. Also, I told him if he brings the ball retriever again and goes fishing for balls during our round I'm going to break it over my knee.

[Cleveland Gunmetal]

I also have sympathy for your situation. That's not an easy thing to do, especially to someone you know you'll have to see all the time. I do think there are nice and perhaps not so nice ways to tell someone they are slow and need to pick it up. Unfortunately, those nice "ways" can sometimes be just subtle hints and it appears your buddy didn't even pick up on the most obvious ones. You're kinda stuck then... you either deal with it (and keep dropping hints) or just flat out tell him. As long as you were sincere about it and just didn't insult the guy then I think you'll be OK. Sucks that you had to be the one to tell him too as it appears many others were in the same situation as you, but didn't say anything.

[Norm66]

Well apparently he didn't take it well at all. He went to at least one of the other guys yesterday and announced he was pissed. LOL, the guy he was complaining to was one of the guys that quit playing due to his slowness. Ah well, it's off my chest and hopefully after he cools down and self-examines a little bit (if he does) he'll realize he has something to work on.

[Cleveland Gunmetal]

LOL, the guy he was complaining to was one of the guys that quit playing due to his slowness

Well did the guy who quit say anything while he was complaining or just go along with him? Probably went right along with him, playing sides. Oh well.

[lamebums]

Ahh, the joy of playing with people that either 1) I got them to pick up the game or 2) they are just plain bad and don't care.

I got a couple of buddies to pick up the game, and I'm usually the one that showed them how to play - they picked up all my traits for the game, for better or worse. They take mulligans, fluff up their lie in the rough, and don't count past 8 on any hole, but at least they play fast. I could play 18 holes in 2 hours and 30 minutes with any one of my buddies without breaking a sweat, and with three of them we are still not looking at any more than 3:30. We're not raking putts, not loading up on 7's and 8's, we're not hustling, but we're just fast.

It sort of plays into "If you suck, at least suck fast" mentality, but also because we play twilight a lot ($16 all you can golf until dark after 4) and we are trying to get in as many holes as possible.

You can tell we're not trying though when I shoot better myself in stroke play than all four of us shoot in a scramble.

You handled it pretty well, though - politics and religion are oftentimes safer topics than the guy's slow play (or the 10 yard dribbler he just hit).

[stevestrike]

Yesterday, I played 9 holes in 1 hour (soooo awesome) and then another two for the back because it was busier. Still, a 3 hour round is great.