Controlling anger on the course

[Jeepthrills]

I have broken my putter shaft over my knee, tossed my putter into the edge of a pond, snapped the shaft of my wedge over my bag and bent the leg on my stand bag and the shaft of my wedge in one toss. Oh yeah...I also shattered the leg on another bag and bent a 3 Wood by throwing it into a tree. One thing I will point out is that when I broke the putter, for three weeks after I got it back I didn't 3 putt. Also, when I tossed it in the pond I fished it out and took a total of 3 putts on the next 4 holes chipped in on one and lagged one from the fringe to inches on another.

The crazy thing is I am actually laughing at myself right now for being such an ass. I have gotten better, no club throwing, in recent years. Part of it is my clubs are a lot more expensive than they were back then. I have always said that I should carry a crappy club as my 14th that I could just break over my knee when I am ready to lose it. I figure that if I am mad enough to walk to my bag, pull out that club and still break it I must be pissed. At least this will allow me to vent.

My best ever was about 7 or 8 years ago I was playing a driveable par 4. I came up about a yard short of the green in some thick rough. I tried to chip the ball and barely moved it. I was so mad that I swung at the thin branch on the tree above me. I swung the club like an axe and it went right through the branch and straight down into my shin. It swelled up instantly the size of an egg. I didn't let anyone know right away since they didn't really notice. I chipped up and saved par. By the time I got to the next tee my leg was throbbing and I couldn't hide the lump or the limp. I did proceed to birdie number nine on basically one leg.

[Shindig]

Theway I think of it is this: When I hit a bad approach shot, I say, "That's why we get to practice the short game!" It makes bad shots into more of a joke and also prepares and boosts confidence for the next shot.

I am going to use that when I play next (tomorrow), probably after that too. I miss enough greens that I'd love to have a throwaway phrase to make it a joke.

[golf_junkie27]

A great tip I heard today was from Scott McCarron. He mentioned that he has a post-shot routine. He'll actually take another swing after he's hit the ball to get any frustration out of his system.

Personally, I walk. This gets all the negative energy out of my body. Also, your next shot can always be your best shot. How many times have we seen the best golfer, Tiger Woods, hit an awful tee shot (by his standards), only to make birdie or save par?

You can't take the bad shot back. You can, however, focus on making the next shot, great.

[artfulgolfer]

There are some great responses in this thread on how to deal with anger and keep things in perspective. Like mikelz, I've also been told I'm not good enough to get that mad. When I was an 8 handicapper, a fellow player told me after I made a bad shot that those are the kind of shots to expect when you're only an 8 handicapper. I've learned not to expect perfection! I've even learned to embrace imperfection and be happy about the results of a bad shot.

Cool, now I get some practice from a bunker. Cool, I get to see if I can hit a ball that's half submerged on the edge of a lake. Cool, I get to see if I can hit a ball between this long row of trees. Cool, I get to see if I can save bogie with this 6 foot comeback putt.

Regarding slow play, I had a slow round about 2 years ago that drove me absolutely nuts. I shot 92. I decided after that round to NEVER let the behavior of others or any other factor that's out of my control ruin my round. I haven't shot a round in the 90's since. I don't like it when it's slow, but I've learn to distract myself from getting frustrated - almost.

If you let it, golf can be a great teacher, showing you what you need to work on to grow in character and humility. This attitude in golf has helped me so much I've even been able to go back to playing hockey without loosing my temper! Veins are no longer popping out of my forehead when a referee makes a stupid call ;).

[MasterOfTheBogey]

I used to have a fairly bad temper, but I was playing behind a really slow 4-some, and this one guy was absolutley ridiculous. Throwing clubs, Stomping on the ground, ( pretty much acting like a 3 year old when they dont get something that they want at a store. )

I thought to myself I hope I never looked that bad when I threw one of my tantrums. I still get mad but nothing that I ever lose control over myself.

A lil' mutter to myself and continue on with the round is all I really do now.

There are far worse things that are happening to people out in the world while we are putting for double-bogeys.

It really puts everything into perspective. - Always, Just a Game -

[Raidermatt]

To me, there's really two issues.

One is just controlling anger so I don't get destructive. That's just bad form no matter how you look at it, and if it happens on the golf course, it can happen anywhere.

For that, I think you just have to find a way to calm yourself before you break a club, throw a club, or hurt somebody. A deep breath often does it for a lot of people, but whatever it is for you, it's a good idea to find it before something worse than breaking your own club happens.

Once you have that under control, it becomes a matter of thinking about your actual game. I haven't had issues with throwing clubs or anything, but certainly bad shots can frustrate me. What I've finally come to understand very recently is that the single biggest thing CAUSING my bad shots was tension in my swing.

Tension from trying to hard, from frustration, etc.

So it's a bit of a vicious cycle... tension causes bad swings, bad swings cause more tension, and so on.

What's helped me before I take a shot is to make sure my practice swing is completely loose and tension free. Yes, I try to make a "good" swing, but that comes with practice and repetition. Once I'm on the course, my #1 thought is RELAX. Take the club back slowly and keep the swing loose.

Even though I hardly practiced and only played about 6 rounds last year, my handicap went from over 36 to 32. As of 3/1 I'm now down to 30.5. I spent about 7 years at 36.4 (that's the highest they recognize for men).

I can now practice and actually work on my swing in a productive manner. When there was so much tension, it was pointless for me to try to make any mechanical changes because (I think) they were all being caused first and foremost by the tension. I tried of course, but practice was mostly just an excercise in futility.

Not so anymore. I can feel and see the improvement, and it just gets me out to the range even more.

I can't say for sure that this is the root cause of anybody else's problems, but if you are throwing and breaking clubs after your swing, I'm going to guess you are winding yourself up WAY too tightly during your swing as well.

[meenman]

I can honestly say that I still have not gotten that upset no matter how *bad* my day has been. I can always laugh off my bad shots because there is no place i would rather be than on the course.

The only thing I get upset about is my wife getting pissed off every time she makes a bad shot - but after 2 or 3 holes she tends to grow up so I have learned to let that go too.

[Shindig]

Personally, I walk. This gets all the negative energy out of my body. Also, your next shot can always be your best shot. How many times have we seen the best golfer, Tiger Woods, hit an awful tee shot (by his standards), only to make birdie or save par?

Another advantage of walking is that you can focus on something like the sound of your steps between shots. When you get to the ball, you've almost forgotten the last, bad shot. The only problem with this is that it makes a bad short-game shot harder to forget if you rely solely on this method.

Plus, you don't have your buddy in the cart reminding you of your mistake. Something to talk to your buddies about.

[powerfade]

Seek professional help.
Even if it's in the form of a book.

You know what they say...you can tell a lot about the character of a person on the golf course. People that go off the deep end probably have an anger management issue in other aspects of their life.

I've worked hard to reduce my anger on the course. I'm not the same golfer I was 3 years ago. It's carried over to my normal life...or maybe it's visa versa? I simply don't blow up on the course anymore. My play has improved because I keep my head in the game. The anger doesn't carry over for 3 holes anymore.

Another thing...if anyone uses the excuse that you're just blowing off steam or venting. You're kidding yourself. You're more like a timebomb that will go off at the next bad shot.

Ask your friends...hey, do you enjoy when I go into a tirade on the course? Have one of them video tape you. You'll realize how much of an ass your making out of yourself.

[powerfade]

Seek professional help.
Even if it's in the form of a book.

You know what they say...you can tell a lot about the character of a person on the golf course. People that go off the deep end probably have an anger management issue in other aspects of their life.

I've worked hard to reduce my anger on the course. I'm not the same golfer I was 3 years ago. It's carried over to my normal life...or maybe it's visa versa? I simply don't blow up on the course anymore. My play has improved because I keep my head in the game. The anger doesn't carry over for 3 holes anymore.

Another thing...if anyone uses the excuse that you're just blowing off steam or venting. You're kidding yourself. You're more like a timebomb that will go off at the next bad shot.

Ask your friends...hey, do you enjoy when I go into a tirade on the course? Have one of them video tape you. You'll realize how much of an ass your making out of yourself.

[bwmgolfer]

You need to stay in the present
Dont worry about the last shot or that last hole
Think about the shot at hand
The most important shot is the one you are about to hit

[iacas]

I never understood people that got angry at their golf game.

Frustrated, perhaps. Angry, never.

[Stuart]

For me controlling my anger is my single biggest downfall on the course. Like a couple of the guys that posted earlier, sports have always come really easy to me. I guess as a result, I don't take failure very well. I am currently in the middle of Bob Rotella's book, Golf Is Not A Game of Perfect. It has helped a bit, but I realize that the real struggle is not understanding the why of why I shouldn't get angry, cause I understand that - If I let my temper take over, I'm going to play crappy golf. The real struggle is putting what you "know" into practice. Its one thing to understand the why of something, but another thing entirely to do it. After seeing how crappy my swing is on video, compared at least to what I thought it would look like, I find it a little easier to laugh, but it's still not easy. If I can get through a round without ever giving up on any hole when I screw up, then I will have won, regardless of my score. The most important thing in any sport is to never ever give up. Tiger gets angry too, a lot, but he never gives up.

[TourSpoon]

Tiger gets angry too, a lot, but he never gives up.

He falls in the "good enough to get angry" group that Mike brought up. He gets over it quickly.