I hate my coach with a passion.

[RedRun411]

My girls Golf coach for High School. Today was our meeting, because I made the team, and so the team was there and he was just explaining rules, practices, etc. Then he called me out in front of everyone and said "Well, Anneliese wouldn't be able to play on an 18 hole course." I was like "What, bitch you don't know me." And yet, I really didn't say that, I just shrugged, and went on. I really wanted to say that though. And then, I was sitting inbetween two girls on a couch, Killeen, and Katelyn. He goes, "You guys can't miss practice, because we need like Killeen and Katelyn on the team." I was sitting right inbetween them, and he had the nerve to not say my name. How rude is that? Wow, that really makes a kid want to play golf, knowing that you don't need them on the team. He just gets on my nerve so bad, and then he goes "Yes, well our 15 player" (then he was about to say my name while he pointed at me.) Instead he called on one of our best players, and made a joke out of it, because everyone knew she wouldn't be the worst on the team, and yet before he decided to do that, he was looking at me, and pointed at me, and he was about to say my name, but then he switched because he didn't want to "embarres" me, not like he hasn't the whole god damn day already.

He only cares about the good players, and he was saying to the worse half of the team how we wouldn't be playing in a lot of matches, and how we would probably get lucky if we even played 2.

What the hell? What kind of coach does this? He's so ****ing annoying, and I can just tell that these days that I thought would be the greatest, are going to be the worst.
I don't know what to do, my parents refuse to let me quit the team. I honestly don't know what to do, if I keep dealing with this, i'm just going to freaking flip out someday, I just know it..

Sorry, I was just venting.

Anyone know what I should do?

[iacas]

Wow. I'm stunned. I wanted to reply so you know I read it, but I'm not sure what I'd do at this point.

Most likely, I'd personally give it a rest and see if it continues. Then if it does I'd probably say something if he does that again. Something like "I don't appreciate being referred to like that." See how he reacts, then offer to discuss it away from the others.

The backup plan would be to have one of your parents talk with him. Golf coaches ARE paid, and they can be fired. The backup to the backup plan is to go above his head to the principal, superintendent, etc.

But I always favor the direct approach as the first option.

[jeffgladchun]

Hmm, thats the opposite of what I was thinking. So what if you think your coach is a jerk? Deal with it. Prove him wrong. You can use your so-called hatred of this man to fuel your fire for improvement. Make him eat his words, so to say.

However, I would also suggest that an attitude check might be a good idea as well. You're not entitled to anything unless you prove it first and so far, it looks like you haven't proven anything. So deal with it.

Anyways, good luck with the situation and I hope you can focus on the bigger issue (having fun) and not get caught up in all your coaches so-called annoying behaviors.

[gripitandripit]

My girls Golf coach for High School. Today was our meeting, because I made the team, and so the team was there and he was just explaining rules, practices, etc. Then he called me out in front of everyone and said "Well, Anneliese wouldn't be able to play on an 18 hole course." I was like "What, bitch you don't know me." And yet, I really didn't say that, I just shrugged, and went on. I really wanted to say that though. And then, I was sitting inbetween two girls on a couch, Killeen, and Katelyn. He goes, "You guys can't miss practice, because we need like Killeen and Katelyn on the team." I was sitting right inbetween them, and he had the nerve to not say my name. How rude is that? Wow, that really makes a kid want to play golf, knowing that you don't need them on the team. He just gets on my nerve so bad, and then he goes "Yes, well our 15 player" (then he was about to say my name while he pointed at me.) Instead he called on one of our best players, and made a joke out of it, because everyone knew she wouldn't be the worst on the team, and yet before he decided to do that, he was looking at me, and pointed at me, and he was about to say my name, but then he switched because he didn't want to "embarres" me, not like he hasn't the whole god damn day already.

I feel bad for you that a coach would act so unprofessionally, but be careful what you write. These seem like words you might put in a diary instead of online for anyone to read. I've recently seen where kids have been punished, expelled from school, and even arrested for things they've written about teachers and principals on myspace.com. In the future, ask for advice on here, but be careful not to type something that you might regret later. I agree with Jeffgladchun. Use this to prove him wrong.

[RedRun411]

EH. I guess I shouldn't have asked 20+ older men. You just wouldn't get it, when you were younger you would have totally flipped, or gotten angry.

OH WELL.

[gripitandripit]

EH. I guess I shouldn't have asked 20+ older men. You just wouldn't get it, when you were younger you would have totally flipped, or gotten angry.

you have every right to be angry, and I would be too. I'm only saying be careful where and how you vent, so it doesn't come back to bite you, thats all.

[jeffgladchun]

EH. I guess I shouldn't have asked 20+ older men. You just wouldn't get it, when you were younger you would have totally flipped, or gotten angry.

Um, I'm 18 and still in high school so I can somewhat understand where you're coming from. Still, you've gotta realize that this guy knows a lot more about this sport than you. If you view it as a challenge and change your attitude I'm sure it will be a lot more fun and a lot less trying.

[xd3vilx]

honestly, i will go for the direct approach...look in ur team for people who also hate him...get support and complain to whoever is in charge of ur golf team...i have a better luck than u...my coach is fair to anyone as long as u prove ur else, no matter how lousy u are he will help you to get to ur best...

Good luck in the future...

[golfchief]

You said you were just starting to learn to play golf, feel good about making the team, work hard on your game and become a starter. every team sport has people sitting on the bench even in the pros. Be thankful your on the team and learn from the starters what you need to work on .

[iacas]

You said you were just starting to learn to play golf, feel good about making the team, work hard on your game and become a starter. every team sport has people sitting on the bench even in the pros. Be thankful your on the team and learn from the starters what you need to work on .

Y'know, perhaps I have a different take on this whole thing. I'm a big fan of dealing with injustice in the world by "sucking it up and doing what you can," but I also spent last fall as an assistant golf coach to my alma mater.

The first job of any high school coach, for the average player, is to make it fun. The second job: be fair. If you do those two things, you've done your job. High school sports are, for the majority (read: those that aren't looking at college scholarships for their sport) about socializing, doing something active, etc. They should never be about ridicule or even jackassed comments from someone put in a position of authority. How would you feel if your daughter was made fun of by a teacher? A high school coach is not that far off from a teacher in the respect and esteem they should demand from their athletes and the manner in which they should behave towards them.

[golfchief]

We don't really know anything about the coach or red run he did choose her to be on the team (the better player is not always chosen) so maybe she needs to find out more about him, that may have been his way to make her feel shes been noticed. He also could just be an a$$.

He may be a very good coach with a bad attitude, ie. Bobby Knight at(Indiana), I know he's not their no more. She could talk to him one on one, wait a couple of more practices to see if it continues then go from there.

He did pick her over the others so he must have seen somthing in her or they were really bad AND HE HAD A NUMBER HE HAD TO FILL for the team
I have no idea why he would act the way he did. but she was the chosen one and I say make the best of it and learn the game, become the star starter.

[iacas]

He may be a very good coach with a bad attitude, ie. Bobby Knight at(Indiana), I know he's not their no more. She could talk to him one on one, wait a couple of more practices to see if it continues then go from there.

The point I was trying to make was that high school athletics is not college athletics, and certainly not big-time college athletics. The latter is much more "win at all costs" and the former much more "fun at all costs."

[muskegman]

I re-read your initial post and it seems like he was doing the classic "I'll make you look bad so I look good" routine. Sounds to me he was sucking up to some of the other girls... the seniors or varsity players. It proves a point: "Life is full of asses, and not just the ones we sit on."

IMO you should play golf because it is a great sport and you won't regret learning a sound swing from an earlier age. Ignore skippy the wonder coach and play the game because you like it, not your coach. Maybe after a while of being dedicated to the game or confronting his "assness" he'll come around. I've found that if you treat people like this with respect (which is more they'll give you) that many times you'll win them over.

Anyway, I hope its not too big a burden for you. Enjoy the game!

[sioutdoors]

just pretend the ball is his head and smash it the hell down the fairway. Once one the green put him in his grave with one put. That will show him, maybe his words will come back and bite him in the but. Use him to get where you want in life, weather it be a college team or just knowledge or even learn how to prove your self amongst you peers. Which you will have to do all your life. Good luck and have fun hitting his head around the course

[shakespeare]

Hang in there Anneliese. I'm a high school teacher, so I have a little bit to share understanding both your point of view and his.

Your point of view - Yeah, get angry, get fired up, and be ready to play when you do get a chance, so you can shove it in his face and make him eat his words. It's ok to be pissed off.

His point of view - He's probably been doing this a while. He is going to do what he knows best because so far in his life, it's worked. He knows inside that he is not perfect, and he is projecting a confidence outside that might not be there inside.

My point of view - He's a man, a human being, probably has a wife and family. He has bills, a boss, problems, and all of those things in his life. He's not perfect, and he probably has a lot of quality things to offer you. Accept him, and others, in your life as human beings who are less than perfect, and things will roll off you easier. Nothing he did was right - nothing in the teacher/coach handbook. Of course he's going to be a butthead sometimes. So are you, and so am I and everyone reading this.

I'm so glad you're a part of this forum. Don't stop coming because we're "old."

[LarryK]

Then he called me out in front of everyone and said "Well, Anneliese wouldn't be able to play on an 18 hole course." I was like "What, bitch you don't know me." And yet, I really didn't say that, I just shrugged, and went on.

I am not, for one minute, condoning what your coach did. Many others have already commented on that. But a major part of golf (and life for that matter) is about controlling your emotions. If you're like most high school freshman, you could use the practice. Congratulations on holding your tongue. Wagging it in that situation would not have helped your position. You did good.

"You guys can't miss practice, because we need like Killeen and Katelyn on the team." I was sitting right inbetween them, and he had the nerve to not say my name. How rude is that? ... then he goes "Yes, well our 15 player" (then he was about to say my name while he pointed at me.) He only cares about the good players, and he was saying to the worse half of the team how we wouldn't be playing in a lot of matches, and how we would probably get lucky if we even played 2.

It may be rude, but be objective here for a minute. Was it true? Are you the 15th best player on the team? If so, that fact only has to be a source of humiliation if you let it. As for the worst half of the team only playing in a few matches, consider this: You are a freshman and (apparently) a beginning golfer. If you stick with this, there is a high probability that by your senior year YOU will be one of the top golfers on your team. If that happens, YOU will have

earned the right to play in the majority of matches. How would you feel if that right was taken away from you to soothe someone else's feelings? At this point consider what others have suggested. Did you join the golf team because you want to play golf? If so, you will get that opportunity. If you joined it just because you thought it would be "cool" or grant you access to some social clique, you have already made a mistake.

I can just tell that these days that I thought would be the greatest, are going to be the worst..... my parents refuse to let me quit the team.

Your parents are very wise. They see the opportunity for you to not only learn from adversity, but to literally turn it to your advantage. And they obviously trust your ability to do that. Do not believe for a second that they are trying to

punish you. The days you thought would be the greatest were based on inadequate information and a young girl's wish. The days you are now convinced will be your worst are also based on inadequate information (what? a crabby coach?) and a young girl's impetuous temperment. How those days actually turn out over this season and perhaps others will have less to do with the circumstances you find yourself in than in the circumstances you create. They will have to do with how seriously you dedicate yourself to your original dream of what playing high school golf should be like, and how well you control your emotions every time something happens that seems to say, "No, it's not like that at all." I wish you the very best of luck.

[gottaplay]

When I look back on my high school soccer days, my only regret was allowing my coach to constantly belittle me and embarass me in front of the team. I wanted to tell him off badly but I never did. When I got a little older (I'm 27 now) I realized that he was actually just another insecure person who used the little thread of power that he had to try to make himself feel bigger than he was. If I could go back in time from now to then, I'd try to focus less on trying to "show" him that I could play. I'd focus less on using a weak little loser as my motivation to become a starter. And I'd use the fact that I love the game as my motivation to try to do it better. In soccer, I was a better player than I showed on the field, and I think most of it was because I wasn't focused on the game, I was focused on the coach.

When he starts getting ridiculous (and he will), just look right at him and remember that all the golf skills in the world won't make him a better person and although you may have to deal with it, the golf experience he has doesn't give him license to be inconsiderate.

Don't use a loser to motivate yourself as some here have suggested. Life is too short to clutter your mind with idiots, try hard to motivate yourself from within. That means play because you like to play the game, get better because you want to get better at a game you enjoy. If you can learn to motivate yourself that way, you can become something better than a great golfer. You can be a great person. And on your way to that, you won't regret it if you tell him off (cause I know if I had I sure would NOT have regretted it), but you'll be better off if you focus on you.

[iacas]

When I'm angry, I just need to vent, and that's why I did it on here.

Small piece of advice: preface your vents with "I'm just venting here..." or something. Clue us in that you're not necessarily looking for advice on how to deal with him (though you'll get it anyway).

Yesterday he rated me 13th. Which is

Work with your dad. You said he's a PGA Pro right? And so that should work out. He probably knows HOW you learn, which is as important as (or more important than) WHAT you need to learn.

As for the guy, if you've given up on privately confronting him (and I would - he doesn't seem like the type that would "man up" and take appropriate action after being confronted), I vote for the following course of action: decide for yourself that he's not worth the aggravation . That's it. If you are mature enough to make that decision - the decision that he's basically meaningless to you - then nothing he does can really upset you. It's a fairly drastic move, but it should allow you to enjoy what you're doing a lot more than if you worry about his "assness" to borrow Jeff's word.