So, what's your excuse?

[Certifi_able]

After I slice one over into the next fairway there always seems to be another group coming down that hole so I simply state to that group that "I thought I'd hit one over here just so i could say Hi and see how you all were doing today"
When a guy in my group (league night) keeps hitting them long and down the middle I ask how it is he doesn't get bored with the same ol same old.
I like to see all the course
I'm getting my moneys worth today

[n8ron]

I don't have any glass in my shoe

Back story:
A few years ago I was playing a round and playing it quite well. All throughout the front nine my foot kept getting pricked by something in my shoe. I kept taking my shoe off and couldn't find what it was. On 13th tee I finally found a piece of glass stuck in my foot and promptly threw it away. I started shooting very badly for the next few holes. So naturally, I explained to my playing partner that we had to go back to the 13th tee to get that piece of glass so I could put it back in my shoe.

[kmclain]

One of my personal favorites from my bro-in-law. Say you hit a drive pretty well but it's in the wrong part of the fairway, it rolls through the fairway into a bunker or other hazard, the only logical thing to say is......."this course doesn't reward exceptional ball striking."

I just laughed out loud at that one. Classic.

[NorCalGolfer]

a friend of mine said one of the funniest things i'd heard as far as excuses go...he had a perfect lie in the fairway just 150 out and absolutely misses so far right that there was no excuses except for a terrible shot. So after he hits it, he looks at me and says....

"f*ckin grass"

[Iowa Hawkeye]

I love it when people go "IT F*&@ING BROKE?!?!?!"

also

I like to use something like "well, the green slopes to the front left so if I attack it from the right side i can put the ball in a good spot, you're gonna have a heck of a time with that dead center approach..."

[Lefty39]

I'm a big fan of saying the wind took it, even if there is no wind at all, or if I miss hit a shot. I say it's just really hot, and the club slipped, and it's not my fault that my grips aren't made for a climate that is way too hot lol.

[microcrayfish]

I usually claim that I'm keeping it out of the wind whenever I hit a worm burner or top one .

[BigDave]

Global Warming.

[RC]

Gravity wave deflected the putt.

[Chilli Dipper]

I went off as a single, on a very difficult course, on the hottest day of the year thus far, after getting only two hours of sleep the night before. If I had the energy to take big swipes at the ball, all those baby hooks that dribbled 5 yards off to the right and 20 yards short would have been pretty high draws that nestled up close to all those pins.

[GoodLife]

My excuse is always the same. If my life is in turmoil I play REALLY bad. If things are going good my game is good. Its always been that way, at least its predictable.

[DriverTees]

Just wait 'till I hit 16. Is my standard line for whenever I hit a good shot. (15 years old.)

[Slim 11]

One of our new standards is borrowed from Brian on the Big Break... "I hit it pure..." then followed with "just the wrong club" or "swung too hard."

Some of my other favorites...

Worm Burner - "Trying to keep low and out of the wind."
Big old slice - "I came out of it" - not even really sure what I mean by that.
General bad play I will usually blame on my wife calling my cell during the round and ruining my concentration.

They're all BS.

[$2 Nassau]

One of our new standards is borrowed from Brian on the Big Break... "I hit it pure..." then followed with "just the wrong club" or "swung too hard."

You should follow the Brian line "I hit it pure" with "of course." Pretty sure I heard Brian say that one episode..."well I hit it pure, of coruse."

[jcorfive]

Ha, I find an excuse every day I play. The other day it was because the 'tees were the wrong color'. Before its because I forgot my sand wedge or didn't have the proper sharpie marking on my ball. Definitely blame a lot of things on the wind or that I hit my shot in the bunker to get some sand practice. Anything to cover up the lack of my golfing skills.

[CarlSpackler]

Good thread.

Let's see.

• I hit the big ball before the little ball.
• I need to fire my caddie (I used this yesterday after airmailing a green and noticed that I pulled 4i instead of 6i).
• My cranial rectomitis is flaring up today (used in tandem after the previous one).
• I didn't bring my "D" game today.
• I was distracted when the hawt lady on the adjacent green bent over to get her ball from the cup.
• Not enough aiming fluid (a.k.a. - alcohol)

[SasQuatch<3]

My backs been really sore lately! I swing to hard for my shaft stiffness.

[bunkerputt]

I just laughed out loud at that one. Classic.

Me too! Mind if I use it with my brother and pawn it off as my own? He has a much better since of humor than me, and I need all the help I can get.

We're both in our 30s now. A couple of years back, we both visited my dad and he pulled out our old Atari 5200. What a retro flashback. My brother's son asked if he could play, and my bro quipped, "Sorry. This is for the classically trained gamer."