I'm 14 Strokes Up on You... Stop Giving Me Advice!

[Fairway_CY]

So... last week, I posted the 'Just Shut Up!' thread. This week... I'm posting to the guy who won't stop telling me what to do. Short par 5 (495 yards on the scorecard) and I hit a pretty good drive down the left side of the fairway. There is a big pond fronting the green unless you lay it out to the right, then you can come in from a clean angle. My drive goes about 240 yards... and if I decide to try and carry the pond... it'd be a carry of about 180 yards (I guess the 495 yardage was based on the dogleg around the pond). Pretty much, a 4 iron (21 degree hybrid) would have cleared the pond and probably left me just at the front of the green.

At that point in my round, I was 3-under net par. I figured a score of about 5-under would be pretty close to low net. With a fairly simple closing hole... a gross par on THIS hole would give me a net birdie and put me to 4-under... and I could pick up the other stroke on the 18th. My intention was just to lay it out to the right... give me about a 70 yard shot (pretty much a standard sand wedge for me)... and I could see what would happen from there. I pulled my 5 iron and took a few practice swings when my cart partner starts telling me that I shouldn't go for it... pull an 8 iron and lay it to 125... don't be stupid... etc. Now, if he was DOING anything in the tournament... I'd have maybe put some stock into what he was saying... but at that point, I was up 14 strokes on him. He hadn't played a GOOD hole all day long.

I tried to put him outside my mind... I took another smooth practice swing, aimed out to the right... and then yanked the hell out of my 5 iron, right into the pond. Damnit! Now... I KNOW his talking had nothing to do with me putting the ball in the pond... but it DID annoy me. I dropped at about 125 out outside the pond. I don't know WHY I did that because I COULD have taken it back into the fairway... but as I'm preparing to hit... I hear him from the cart say "Psssst... nice and easy. Smooth swing." I shook my head at him... and chunked my 8 iron into the pond again. Son of a...! Dropped another ball at the same spot (Tin Cup style) and put it on to the green about 45 feet beyond the pin. I two-putted from there for a nice snowman.

As we're driving to the next hole, this douche-tard tells me to let it go and that I shouldn't let it bother me. No... nothing to be bothered by... I just went from 3-under net to 1-under net because of a series of stupid shots by me. I nodded, all the while trying to keep from jumping from the cart. If you've ever played a bad hole... you know that sometimes a pep talk from the WRONG person isn't going to help your mindset. By the time I got to the 17th tee... I was fuming. There is a carry over the SAME pond that fronted the 16th green off of the 17th tee... only about 85 yards to carry it, but still... for a high handicapper like myself... it's in my mind. I teed my ball up with EVERY intention of murdering the ball. I swung pretty hard... and topped it. PLUNK! After everybody teed off... I reloaded to hit my 3rd shot... and I got the result I was looking for. A bomb that ended up 278 yards off the tee, but just in the right rough. My 5 iron approach missed my target by only a few feet and ended up in the greenside trap. My sand wedge from there ended up 10 feet past the hole leaving me a VERY quick downhill putt, but I blew the first putt 9 feet by and then missed that coming back. I tapped in for a second CONSECUTIVE 8. This one dropped me to 1-over net.

Luckily... he didn't say anything to me going from the 17th to the 18th... and I again bombed my drive. 268 yards up the left side... a smooth 9 iron from 116 to the center-left side of the green leaving me a 30 foot putt for birdie. I left that 8 feet short... then sank the par putt for a net eagle to finish 1-under net.

I was frustrated... more by my play than the guy opening his mouth, but... seriously... why say anything? You've been playing like crap all day long. I've been doing pretty well. If I could have played the final three holes bogey - bogey - par... I'd have finished with a gross score of 92 and a net score of 66. That would have had me finish 6-under net and I'd have come in 2nd place alone. Instead... I finished 1-under net and tied for 3rd place. It cost me 20 points in the Ryder Cup standings... which is frustrating.

I've got to learn to block people like that out. The frustration leads to stupid shots... which leads to poor scores. In 2 tournaments with this club... I've managed to shoot myself out of contention EACH time with 2 poor holes per round (last time, it was a 10 on a par 4 and a 9 on a par 5 a few holes later... I finished 6 strokes back and placed solo 10th). Those blowup holes hurt me... but they especially hurt when you're TRYING to let them go and you've got someone who you are obliterating in your ear yapping golf chiches.

Sorry for the rant... just frustrated and STILL stewing at missed opportunities.

CY

[BonoVox]

Tell him he is breaking the rules and why you are at it, that he should STFU!!!!

14 over/under who cares? People like that are annoying. Though typically they are doing it (in their mind) to be helpful. Anyway work on blocking that distraction out of your mind. Because this wont be the last time you will have to deal with it. We all do.

[Shindig]

Are you playing in a tournament? Tell him that you can't accept advice, no matter how well meaning.

http://www.usga.org/Rule-Books/Rules-of-Golf/Rule-08/

If he's in the tournament too, make sure he gets the 2 shot penalty. Even if it won't make a difference, it should sting him a little, and hopefully he'll remember it in the future.

Also, request that you aren't paired with him in future tournaments, for just this reason.

[saevel25]

yeah thats annoying, its none of his business if i want to go tin cup. Hell, you can lay up when your dead (my new favorite quote from golf)

But he shouldn' have an opinion on it.

[trog2233]

Yea I agree this guy needs to shutup but your letting this guy get into your head wayyyy too much. You gotta work on blocking him out and concentrate on your game more. There are always "know it alls" out there that will do this you just have to learn to deal with it and show them how its done. Good luck man..

[iacas]

Take responsibility, dude. You'll always have excuses if you look for them (admittedly this one wasn't tough to find).

You failed to control yourself. You hit those shots.

[Fairway_CY]

I guess the way my post came off... I was blaming him for my shots... but that's not the way I intended it. I DID hit the shots... or, better yet... DIDN'T hit the shots that I needed to. It's more his yapping in my ear that got to me than anything. I don't want someone who I'm destroying telling me to relax, calm down, etc. You're right, iacas, I didn't control my temper... that's what cost me on the 17th tee.

To the others who said not to play with him... here's the issue... he's my assigned partner for the season. Awesome, right? This means that, technically, he's within the rules when offering me 'advice'... but still. I'll speak to him about it before our next outing. I'm way more interested in how I perform in the low net category and the singles category than I am in the doubles category. Funny thing is... by that point in the round... both my singles match and our doubles match were already over and we had won handily (6 & 4 on both).

I've definitely got to learn to block the unwanted distractions or I'll never improve.

CY

[Shindig]

Ugh, he's your partner for the season? Yeah, that's a problem.

Tell him, straight out, that you will ask for advice when you want it, and you don't want any advice otherwise. If he gives you unsolicited advice, go and pretend you're changing your mind... and pick a club or line that will deliberately put the ball in the water (or O.B., or someone's yard, etc). Prepare to hit, but don't actually do so. Then step back, tell him that no, you'll go with your original plan, and go back to what you wanted to do.

[TheGeekGolfer]

That's why I hate riding in carts... you can't escape the guy. I played with someone like this a few weeks ago, every shot he would ANNOUNCE rather loudly everything that happened "I missed that left, I'm laying 3, hitting 4", "I'm 30 feet out, I'm putting for bogey", etc. I don't really care...WTF you are doing, what you're shooting, etc...STFU. I HAD to ride in the cart with him as this was a mountain course and to walk it would be DEATH! I played with that group again, but I made them switch cart partners.

[Fairway_CY]

That's why I hate riding in carts... you can't escape the guy. I played with someone like this a few weeks ago, every shot he would ANNOUNCE rather loudly everything that happened "I missed that left, I'm laying 3, hitting 4", "I'm 30 feet out, I'm putting for bogey", etc. I don't really care...WTF you are doing, what you're shooting, etc...STFU. I HAD to ride in the cart with him as this was a mountain course and to walk it would be DEATH! I played with that group again, but I made them switch cart partners.

Sounds almost like my partner. Same thing... except instead of announcing it... he would more ASK about it. CLUELESS when it comes to rules... scoring... etc. It sucks at times because I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm doing... and he's worrying about how he stands in his singles match because he can't read the scorecard. Meanwhile... he's 4 down with 4 to play.

A few times, he skulled tee shots... I'd grab 3 clubs from my bag and walk to my ball to avoid the moaning I'd hear from him. Pretty much any chance I had where I could grab my wedge, putter and towel and walk to the green... I would. Not only that... the guy doesn't obey posted signs for anything. Par 3's were ALL listed as cart path only. First off... why would he NEED to take the cart off the path on a par 3??? But then he would drive up towards the green disregarding the little signs directing the carts to the path and clearly stating 'No Carts Beyond Here'. I told him a few times and he said it was too hot (70 degrees in Jersey) and the sun was getting to him. One time, the club director called him on it... parking the cart 25 feet from the green instead of on the cart path which was only another 15 feet beyond that. I had to completely disassociate myself from the cart once we checked in... I didn't want to be a part of it. I told the club director what went on... he said he saw it... and that was that. Just clueless... lazy... and overall annoying. An excuse on every shot... "I was all arms", "My back foot was in a little valley that caused me to hit it fat", "The rangers walkie distracted me", etc. Geez... The funny thing is... I'm a very calm person by nature, ESPECIALLY on the golf course. I don't stew for long if I make a mistake... I fully believe the who thing about "A bad day on the golf course is better than a good day (fill in the blank)". When I get around guys like this though... it just makes my blood boil. Have respect for the game... have respect for those within your group... and have respect for the course. Period. CY

[Shindig]

These events remind me very much of why I gave up playing team sports, except in fun-and-fun-only things, so long ago.

[spitz20]

So... last week, I posted the 'Just Shut Up!' thread. This week... I'm posting to the guy who won't stop telling me what to do. Short par 5 (495 yards on the scorecard) and I hit a pretty good drive down the left side of the fairway. There is a big pond fronting the green unless you lay it out to the right, then you can come in from a clean angle. My drive goes about 240 yards... and if I decide to try and carry the pond... it'd be a carry of about 180 yards (I guess the 495 yardage was based on the dogleg around the pond). Pretty much, a 4 iron (21 degree hybrid) would have cleared the pond and probably left me just at the front of the green.

didnt read post..however...tell him to "F*** OFF"....thats what i would do.

[FX(TM)]

To be honest, I hate advice from a lot of people. Unless I'm just having a random round that I'm looking to improve my game on, I don't want advice. I like to just do what I do, even if I'm playing bad.

I don't tend to get angry with myself either even if I'm playing bad, just because I laugh it off.

As for you, that's tough dude. I wouldn't take advice from someone playing worse than you, just because you think 'what the hell do you know?', even if what they're saying is correct. I guess the best thing you can do is work on blocking it out, and have confidence in your club and shot being the right one. If you don't have confidence in it, you're going to plonk it in the water 9 times out of 10.

[bucklateral]

I play at a small rural course where there is rarely more than 3 groups on our 9-hole course at any time. When I go to bigger courses I always get in foursomes that have someone giving advice.

Any advice given without it being asked for is a bad idea. I don't care if you are better or worse than me, I don't want your advice. When I want advice I will ask for it or pay the club pro for it.

My new plan, that usually works, is when I play with new people or someone who has annoyed me in the past is that I start off on the first tee box explaining how I played with this guy last time that wouldn't shutup with his advice and that I don't want to hear it. I usually have to add in that I have been working with the pro on my course on a few things and am still working on these techniques. It usually works.

[Meddle]

As someone who struggles with the mental game myself, I feel your pain. I try to think of people like that as a challenge, something I have to overcome to play well. But there's nothing wrong with a stern "I don't want to hear your advice". Your really helping him by saying that, maybe he will learn that he is being inappropriate.

[FX(TM)]

My new plan, that usually works, is when I play with new people or someone who has annoyed me in the past is that I start off on the first tee box explaining how I played with this guy last time that wouldn't shutup with his advice and that I don't want to hear it. I usually have to add in that I have been working with the pro on my course on a few things and am still working on these techniques. It usually works.

That's a sneaky, but excellent plan haha!

[authentic_golfer]

That's why I hate riding in carts... you can't escape the guy.

Yet another arrow in the anti-cart quill... To the original point, some people are just sociallly clueless. Must be a psychological syndrome, since they seem unable to help themselves.

Really gets me when you've just posted a big number and are clearly steamed, and they chime in with some silver-lining, pollyanna rubbish. Makes me want to go Elin on them. Sean

[wrx_junki]

Learn to block it out because this will happen again. I've learned to block it out and just enjoy the game. I am not qualified to give advice but I do so when my friends ask or when they are doing something very detrimental like getting their alignment wrong.