Anyone else struggle when playing with friends?

[The_Pharaoh]

It depends on the friend(s) in question. I've stopped playing with one friend because he has started playing terribly and gives up the moment he has his first double or triple bogey. He starts goofing around and that completely throws me off my game.

I tend to play my best golf when I'm on my own or with complete strangers. I have come to the conclusion that talking, albeit small talk, is VERY bad for good golf.

[gacklez]

I tend to play better when I play with my friend that got me into the game.. but worse when I play with my superiors from work.

I typically play better when I'm playing against better competition, but play worse when I'm playing with people that take jabs at you for any mistake you make, regardless of how well they're playing.

[Shorty]

Anyone who says they can't play well when playing with friends is clearly thinking about the wrong things.

They are obviously either:

a) Not as good as they would like to think they are

b) Trying to impress their friends

c) Putting pressure on themselves because they want to replicate some of the great shots they've hit recently

They hit a few bad ones and are desperate to show what they can do. The  frustration builds and things get worse.

or

d) playing with a friend who is ajerk who distracts them for other reasons. Like bad manners, etiquette or attitude.

They are the "friends" you don't want to play golf with, because it can affect your play.

Your game is what it is. Go and play it.

I can guarantee that noone else really cares about how you play except yourself.

You need to focus on your own play and not on what others may or not think about your game.

They are thinking about their game too, not the great/crap shot you just hit.

[bplewis24]

Originally Posted by Shorty

I can guarantee that noone else really cares about how you play except yourself.

You need to focus on your own play and not on what others may or not think about your game.

They are thinking about their game too, not the great/crap shot you just hit.

You have clearly never played with famousdavis.  If you saw some of the shots he hit you would be hard-pressed to contain your excitement for the rest of the round.

Brandon

[Timmy]

I struggle when I play with somebody who constantly tries to give me advice.  My uncle will try to give me 8 different things wrong with my swing before every shot, and it just gets in my head.  I am ok with a typical pointer here and there, but it's just overload sometimes and it distracts me from just taking a relaxed swing and it often ends in a shank.  When I play on my own, its much more relaxed for me.

[TourSpoon]

I think the key is to make sure that you don't lose focus on any shots because any lapse will cost you strokes. Sometimes expectations get in the way but you have to realize that no one cares how you play. There is nothing wrong with talking and being relaxed as long as you can snap into focus when it is time to play and that is where the start of your pre-shot routine comes in. It says time for business.

[GernGolfs]

I have the exact problem you describe. I play with strangers and shoot in the 70's. I tell my "regular" golf partner and naturally he doesn't believe me. We set a date to play. And I pull an 87 out. The saddest thing was the fact that the 87 wasn't one bad shot after another. It actually included 2 birds. Nope, this horrible round was as a result of a snowman on a par 4, a triple, and two doubles. (these holes alone account for 11 over par)

I haven't figured out how to get past the challenge of playing with my buddy up to my level. I have been practicing and have definitely improved. And funny thing is that even with the 87 I still took him - he shot an 89.

Gotta be something psychological. If anyone figures this out feel free to share it!

[hokiebound]

I usually play better with my friends. When I play with my dad I usually play worse since I'm trying to play better. When I'm with friends, I loosen up and I don't think too much. So I score better.

[bplewis24]

Originally Posted by Timmy

I struggle when I play with somebody who constantly tries to give me advice.  My uncle will try to give me 8 different things wrong with my swing before every shot, and it just gets in my head.  I am ok with a typical pointer here and there, but it's just overload sometimes and it distracts me from just taking a relaxed swing and it often ends in a shank.  When I play on my own, its much more relaxed for me.

This happens a lot when I play with my dad and brother.  My father constantly tries to tweak my brother's swing because he is relatively new to golf and struggles at times.  But I am of the opinion that on-course advice during a round isn't beneficial unless it's singular in focus and pretty minor.  If you are trying all kinds of new moves during a round because you're struggling, it's probably time to be on the range and not the course.

Brandon

[Laurentius]

Me!

I have a very good friend off the course, but when I play golf with him I shoot way over 90s or even 100s.  This guy constantly talks and talks, uses his mobile phones, during swings, during puttings.  And the talking is so constant that when he actually shuts up I can still hear him ringing in my head.

He does not have any golf etiquette whatsoever, or does not want to understand rules! constant muligans, swinging and cleaning the flowers in the flower beds, bunkers and if I impose penalties he says that I am a snob and calling me "a failed golf pro wannabe" and "too much rules!"

What to do????

[frikkif]

Originally Posted by Laurentius

Me!

I have a very good friend off the course, but when I play golf with him I shoot way over 90s or even 100s.  This guy constantly talks and talks, uses his mobile phones, during swings, during puttings.  And the talking is so constant that when he actually shuts up I can still hear him ringing in my head.

He does not have any golf etiquette whatsoever, or does not want to understand rules! constant muligans, swinging and cleaning the flowers in the flower beds, bunkers and if I impose penalties he says that I am a snob and calling me "a failed golf pro wannabe" and "too much rules!"

What to do????

Make fun of him. Suggest boccia - golf is clearly to complicated sport for him  ;)

[Cut68]

Originally Posted by bplewis24

I don't know why, but that part made me burst out laughing.  I guess I could picture somebody's dad saying that.

Brandon

Haha, this is hilarious. It's like my wife....... "Why do you need to by more golf balls?" me "I lost some"          her - "did they fall out of your car? did you look under your seat?"

[Cut68]

Originally Posted by GernGolfs

I have the exact problem you describe. I play with strangers and shoot in the 70's. I tell my "regular" golf partner and naturally he doesn't believe me. We set a date to play. And I pull an 87 out. The saddest thing was the fact that the 87 wasn't one bad shot after another. It actually included 2 birds. Nope, this horrible round was as a result of a snowman on a par 4, a triple, and two doubles. (these holes alone account for 11 over par)

I haven't figured out how to get past the challenge of playing with my buddy up to my level. I have been practicing and have definitely improved. And funny thing is that even with the 87 I still took him - he shot an 89.

Gotta be something psychological. If anyone figures this out feel free to share it!

This is me in a nutshell. the match is almost always competitive, and our handicaps are similar. I think it's a focus thing for me, as the conversation is non-stop and will vary alot. I'm committing myself to focusing more........ Is it within the rules to wear headphones and listen to music on the course?

[Topper]

I do talk a lot.  Even when I'm playing poorly, I still try to have a good time and not bring my golf partners down.

Originally Posted by bplewis24

For those that struggle when playing with close friends, are you guys talking a lot during the round?  Whenever I spend time socializing (even if it's only between shots) I tend to play poorly.  When I play with co-workers this often happens.  But when I play with my brother I tend to play better, and it's because we're pretty competitive with each other so there's not a lot of talking going on.

Brandon

[kevin.chan]

It depends on the friend(s) in question. I've stopped playing with one friend because he has started playing terribly and gives up the moment he has his first double or triple bogey. He starts goofing around and that completely throws me off my game.

I tend to play my best golf when I'm on my own or with complete strangers. I have come to the conclusion that talking, albeit small talk, is VERY bad for good golf.

Same here, have a friend like this and I don't enjoy playing with him .

[phillyk]

I like to play with friends when I am able to focus on my own game and not worry about how my friend does.  I have a tough time making the transitions from having a good time with my buddies to focusing on my next shot.  The couple types of players I usually play worse around are high handicappers (no offense intended) and people with poor golf etiquette. I do worse with the latter though.  But, as others have mentioned, it shouldn't matter how anybody else is playing, as long as I can focus on my own game, which I find hard sometimes anyway.

[Dave H]

I've had my best rounds, both scoring and fun, when playing with my friends. It's just more enjoyable to me to play with my buds. However, this year for whatever reason I have played like crap when I've played with my friends. I think it's due solely to the fact that I'm trying way too hard and putting way too much pressure on myself. If there's one thing I've learned over the past few years of playing this game, it's that you can't play well when you're under tension. I get so tense I can't even tell I'm tense. My tempo disappears and I make the game so much harder than it needs to be. Case in point: Sunday afternoon I play a round with some friends at a great course and I'm driving the ball decently, but I can't seem to hit an iron to save my life. I felt as though I was trying anything and at the end of the day out my 100+ strokes only about 3 could be called decent iron shots. Yesterday, I play 9 on my own and get paired with 2 strangers. I have the best 9 holes of the season getting 2 birdies and no disasters. One of the birdies was my first eagle attempt of the year. In retrospect, it was easy to realize that I was so tense I couldn't swing freely. For whatever reason, playing with total strangers, takes the pressure off for me.