Golfing Idioms and Quotes

[Thrdroc]

Like the other people, when there is a short putt we always say "Hit it with your purse."

After playing with 2 asian guys from New York we picked up one of their sayings. Anytime you duff a shot off the tee its always "Safe."

[BritBoy]

One guy I know, after every bad tee shot, says:

"you know what I like about that shot? Its gonna make my par look sweet!!!"

[Shindig]

One guy I know, after every bad tee shot, says:

I'm sooo using that.

[MountainHip]

My Buddy's putt comes short:
"100% of those don't go in the hole you know"

When there's only 1 tree in your way and you hit it:
"It's a known fact that Tree's are 90% air"

After hitting a crazy beautiful straight down the middle drive:
"You Suck!"

[Thrdroc]

A guy I played with on Wednesday. He hits his tee shot and it rolls through the fairway into a stream on the right. He manages to find his ball gets it, drops it and hits on and putts out. My friend asks if he got a 5. He said "no a 3, they should've never put that water there, its unfair."

[bflat450]

"Golf is played on the 5 inch course between your ears." - Bobby Jones

"Drive for show, putt for dough"- unknown

[wigget]

When i first started, my friend tells me,

"i got it, your problem is loft".

Loft? Thinking to myself that i got standard loft clubs and all...

"Yep, L ack O f F @$*ing T alent."



...wise ass...

[tdinneen]

LOFT.... ooohhhhh I like it!!! I'm going to use that this weekend

[The Rambler]

if my partner hits a putt short i'll say "Does you husband play golf?"

[Silkk]

"Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour." ~Author Unknown

Hahaha

[scotton]

I'm shocked that no one mentioned the classic. When you hit a bad drive but it turns out alright, it was ugly but had big tits.

Conversely, if you hit a shot thin but it still finds the green it was supermodel thin.

And if you hit a big drive it's deep. Porno deep.

Also, anytime someone hits a big sky hook, the wind got it. Doesn't matter if there is any wind or which way it's blowing.

Anytime there's a big hump in the middle of the green, it's a buried elephant. You never putt of the hump, you putt up the elephants ass.

If someone hits into a trap, offer him a towel and a pina colada.

Man, I know way too many of these.

[Shindig]

Was thinking of some on the course today:

"Play for the pars, and the double bogeys will come." David Feherty says this in a commercial, but he's quoting someone, and I can't think of who he is quoting.

"There's no room on the scorecard for 'how', just for 'how many'." (a good thing to remember when tempted to hit a wedge as one's second shot on a par-4 when an easy 9-iron will hit the green).

[Dent]

Heres for iacas and his slow play petition,

"Your play should always be immediatly behind the group infront of you, not immediatly infront of the group behind you."

[oneil003]

"Golf is played on the 5 inch course between your ears." - Bobby Jones

That is probably the best golf quote ever.

[lamebums]

Golf: A game where everyone in front is always too slow, and everyone behind is always too fast.

[Shooter McGavin]

I didn't have the time to read through all of these so my bad if these are repeats:
"This (playing golf) is masochism at it's finest." - Tiger Woods
"They don't ask how, just how many."- My dad
"Get Jesus boots" when a ball looks like it won't clear the water hazard
"Trees are 90% air."
"Bogasim" instead of bogey.
"Does your husband play?" when your playing partner leaves a putt short

That's all I got off the top of my head

[tdinneen]

I looked up "good golf quotes" in google and found these....

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike

Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. ~Val Doonican

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one. ~Martha Beckman

Love this one....

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners. ~Henry Beard, Golfing, 1985

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. ~Bob Hope

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. ~Tommy Armour

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. ~Paul Harvey

And my favourite...

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. ~Author Unknown

[bornfishy]

OJ Simpson - you got away with it ;)

andy.