Jerks you get stuck playing with...

[Zombie Golfer]

Let me preface this by saying I am not a good golfer and likely will never be. I play for fun and to get out of the house with my friends.

Played as a guest at the local CC last saturday. I was supposed to be playing with a friend, his cousin and the member who invited us to play. At some point before we got started, someone decided we should do a ball drop with the foursome in front of us. I ended up in a group opposite the people who had invited me, which irritated me a little. So now I'm playing with a guy I know from work, no problems there, and another guy whose name is familiar to me and his son.

So we tee off and play through the front 9. I shoot my normal 67, and the guy whose name I can't quite place is making comments like "You need to start playing better" and "What'd you take, another 8?" throughout the course. Plus, he's called me by the wrong name about 5 times, which I can't figure out, since he is holding the scorecard with my name written on it.

We get to the 14th tee, we're waiting for the group in front of us to finish up on the green. It's a 160 yd par 3. I pull out my 7 iron and the doof goes "What are you hitting?" I said a 7 iron. He goes "Don't you have anything longer? We need you to get a par here." I go back to the bag, and now I'm starting to get angry with this. I said to him "If you are playing for score and relying on me, you are barking up the wrong tree. I'm obviously not good and now I think I'm ready to go home." The guy I know from work tries to talk me down, he can see my agitation. Captain GolfPro doesn't get it and said something which I missed, as I was busying picking my things up out of the cart and unhooking my bag.

So, I walked off the course rather than slug this guy in the head, which woould have happened had I stayed. Stopped to tell the guy I that had invited me to go that I was leaving because of the knothead I got stuck with.

Why do people get on the course and develop an "I'm better than you" attitude? I'm a 200+ average bowler and have never done anything like this to a player who has less ability than myself.

Things like this make me want to sell all my golf equipment and take up a different hobby.

[laconic517]

honestly if you shoot a 60+ on nine holes you might be slowing them down severly. Theres no excuse for him being a dick, but if you havent played before maybe you should start out on the range or start at an easier course. Did the guys who invited you know your scores? Its different in golf I guess because if one person is repeatedly topping the ball or chipping the ball all over the green and stuff it slows down play really bad. Like I said theres no excuse for the guy being an *******, and if you just had a bad day and shot 67 on 9 holes whatever, maybe its a tough course and you lost a lot of balls. Dunno what to say except dont give up on golf, try to get better and dont let this one guy ruin it for you, however maybe it will be a wake up call for you to improve your game so you can shit on him next time you play. I know when I started golf on JV a few years ago in highschool i was shooting in the 50's and low 60's for 9 holes, kids from other teams would make little comments to other players on their team about it like they were good or something, the next year i beat all of their asses shooting in the low 80's and then the year after high 70s, use it as motivation I guess.

[iacas]

Seems you could have avoided the whole thing by standing up a little earlier on when they decided to mix up the groups.

I'll often say "no thanks" or "we'd prefer not to" when a twosome asks to join my group (a twosome) later on in the round when we're waiting on foursomes. Sometimes I'm simply not in the mood to make new friends or watch someone struggle to break 100.

A 67 for nine holes is pretty bad. I personally can't stand to watch someone shooting around 100.

As laconic said, there's no excuse for him being rude, but you could have avoided that situation by saying "I'd rather not" earlier on when they were mixing up the groups.

[The Rambler]

Things of that nature have happened to me as well. Although sometimes im the fast guy(but never a jerk) other times i'm the slow guy. With my current game it's been the slow guy showing to play. But don't quit. You cant let one jerk ruin the entire game for you. Maybe you should have decked him

[Zombie Golfer]

I had no choice in the mixing of the two groups. Since I was a guest, it was play by their rules or don't play. If I had known this was going to be a competition, I would have turned the invite down and gone elsewhere to play. The person who invited me know how poorly I play.

I suck and I know it. I'd like to get better, but I have not got the time or concentration.

As it turns out, Captain GolfPro is well known for being a tool to anyone he plays with, his son doesn't even like to play with him.

[Zombie Golfer]

Maybe you should have decked him

I didn't need to spend the remainder of my saturday at the police station either.

[Big Lex]

Tough topic...

Your host was not very polite, and you are justified in feeling insulted or upset. However, the situation deserves more explanation.

There is no question that better players often don't like playing with hacks. But the definitions of those terms are variable. I am an 11 index, and I'm a hack to a scratch player, but I'm a very good golfer to someone who can't break 100.

Definition problems aside, what are the reasons that people often don't like playing with someone of markedly lesser ability? I believe there are several. First is pace of play: I don't like feeling like I'm slowing someone down, or being slowed down. This isn't always an issue, though, because if the less-skilled player is thoughtful, he can keep pace with almost anyone. You just have to be courteous and know when to pick up, etc. However, it is a fact that less skilled players are usually much slower than better players, and I think you have to make it a point to keep up if you are with better players.

Another reason for not wanting to play with players of much lower ability involves the match, if there is one. The pressure to perform that a poorer player can feel in attempting to team with a good player is signficant...if the poor player is playing in a match with three very good players (i.e., he doesn't have a corresponding hack on the other team), it can be worse. Many very poor golfers don't typically play matches, they just go out "for fun," as you say. If you don't have experience playing matches, you probably shouldn't get involved in one. However, if you do have experience, you can often be an asset in a match, because a high handicapper who is getting strokes on every hole usually wins a hole for a team automatically with a par. My boss fits this description--very poor golfer, but understands golf matches, and happily hacks it around and makes 2-3 pars, helping his team immensely.

Finally, there is the appearance or aesthetic issue. Good players often don't like watching someone hack it around, simply because it can be depressing to watch, can bring your own game down, give you bad thoughts, etc. For me, I've managed to deal with this if I'm paired with someone with a number up to about 18-20. Beyond that, I get antsy, too. I don't know how you deal with this...when I'm with better players and suspecting I may be stinking the place up, I try subtle humor, mainly to see if the better players will join in and thus break the tension. If it's at the point where it just isn't funny, I try to be as unobtrusive with my hacks as possible, so as not to disturb the guys who may be working on a good round.

So there are many reasons why your playing partner(s) may have been frustrated in being paired with you. It is certainly possible for the poorer golfer to be a good, friendly, enjoyable partner with an expert or near-expert player, but these factors I've cited do put you in a bit of a hole to start with.

It's hard to judge not having been there, but it sounds like the guy was probably being a jerk to you - a little bit of a golf snob. I think the fact that you were a guest at that club should have prompted the better player to treat you with more respect than you were given (presuming of course that you were courteous, polite, and an otherwise good guest). If I end up with a very poor player at my course, I just accept that I don't have to play a serious match or go for a career low score every time out, and I certainly don't think it's appropriate to beat up on a hacker who was thought highly enough by someone to be invited to play at your course.

On the other hand, if you are in a situation where there is likely to be a great disparity in playing levels that may cause frustrations to crop up, I think it is the responsibility of the poorer player to make his situation known before the match is set up, etc.

Golf snobs aren't fun to deal with, but there are responsibilities incumbent on all players to make sure the round is enjoyable for all.

[MountainHip]

Score is irrelevant, if you were playing slowly, then he may have a point, but the guy isn't very smart with his method. (what a jerk)

I understand it takes longer to take 120 shots, than it does 70, but as long as you are playing as quickly as you could then that's fine.

The guy is an idiot, but if you were taking a long time reading putts, taking practice swings, etc... and then end up shooting 120, then that would be inconvenient to the players around you.

I bowl as well, and I shoot roughly 260 (in canadian bowling) which is in the top of my league. Bowling is the same as golf, if a bowler takes extra time lining the shot up, getting the grip perfect, washing the ball after every shot, just to throw it in the gutter 50% of the time, then it's a waste of time.

My brother shoots about 110 (in golf) and is terribly slow, so after a bad shot - 80% of his drives he slices in the woods, I'll joke with him, and say "you should have lined up the letters on the golf ball differently - because your swing was perfect!!" (because he does line the ball up like that - ON THE TEE!!) or he will pace his putt off, and then calculate the break, then blow his putt by the hole by 8 feet, and I'll say "should have used a different club for that distance I guess" And then he'll get the point, or appreciate the humour.

[Undr Par]

don't let 1 bad apple ruin your wanting to play golf....no matter how much better or worse I am then the guy or guys I get paired up with (should that happen) I don't allow them to get to me.....the sad thing is people act as if this (golf) is their job, like their getting paid to play a round of golf on the weekends

ooh and by the way, this hack stuff and people who are good not wanting to play with them is BS, I'm basically a bogey golfer and I've played with (a friend of course) who is the owner and Pro at QuailValleyGC and he has never treated me with disrespect.....this guy and anyone else who thinks their Tiger Woods (wanna be is more like it) are just Buttholes when they treat newbies like that.........

[Zombie Golfer]

We weren't slow at all, teed off just a bit before 9 am and were on the 14th tee when I left it was right around noon, as I got home about 12:30 or so. We were being held up by the people in front of us a bit.

I play poorly but not slowly. I take very few practice swings, if the ball appears to be lost I take the penalty and hit another without spending all morning looking for it. There's lots of balls in the store and I'm not broke.

If there was supposed to be competition between the two groups, I didn't know about it. Quite frankly, I could care less about competing, especially when I am quite inferior to everyone else.

[Striper]

I put a great deal of blame on your host. I've invited guests to my club who are still learning. If someone asked to join our group or "play a game" I'd politely decline in order to protect my guest. Also, I typically will schedule a tee time which I know will give my guest(s) some extra time to play without being pushed from behind.

Further, I would not allow a guest who is still learning to play with a guy who had a reputation for being a jerk!

[P3R3]

I dunno its pretty rough playing with someone shooting in the 130's. I get agitated with my buddy who shoots 110's sometimes, I cant imagine if I got paired with someone shooting that high. So long as you keep pace it would be OK with me. I have said for some of the same things to my buddies, but never would I be disrepectfull of someone who might take it the wrong way.

[skitzo]

It doesn't matter if ya shoot 67 or 17 per nine holes. A schmuck is a schmuck and is merely demonstrating for you that he has managed somewhere along the line to trade any class he may have had for some modicum of golf ability. Which would you rather have? Ignore his kind and play on.

[iacas]

I bowl as well, and I shoot roughly 260 (in canadian bowling) which is in the top of my league. Bowling is the same as golf, if a bowler takes extra time lining the shot up, getting the grip perfect, washing the ball after every shot, just to throw it in the gutter 50% of the time, then it's a waste of time.

In bowling, at least everyone is limited to taking somewhere between 11 and 21 "strokes," and they all take place within about 100 square feet of realty between the bench and the foul line. I bowl too, and though I've played with slow bowlers, it's much easier to be a much slower golfer.

The number of swings you take doesn't help, but the amount of time spent swinging is pretty minor. It's the zig-zagging that kills you. I was perhaps slightly faster when I was shooting in the 90s, in fact, because I was so conscious of taking more strokes than other people. In other words, I don't doubt the OP when he says speed was not an issue. That does not mean I enjoy playing golf with people shooting 100 or higher. Sometimes, I simply don't like seeing horrible golf being played, particularly if I'm trying to concentrate on a match, my good round, preparing for a tournament, etc. "We need a par here" or whatever the guy said would imply to me that the OP was playing in a match whether he knew it or not. If he was playing a match, I can understand (but not excuse) the guy's frustration. From the sounds of it, were I him, I'd feel like the other guys put a sucky golfer on my team so I'd lose. I'd be mad about that, mad about having to watch 67 strokes over 9 holes, and so on. I too think your hosts should have handled the situation differently, and the OP could have prefaced everything by saying "I suck and I'll probably shoot 120 - no exaggeration." FWIW, just over 3 hours to play 13 holes isn't a tremendously fast pace of play. That still puts you at more than 4 hours for the round.

[MountainHip]

We weren't slow at all, teed off just a bit before 9 am and were on the 14th tee when I left it was right around noon, as I got home about 12:30 or so. We were being held up by the people in front of us a bit.

It has been posted, I'll repeat don't let one guy, ruin your willingness to play the game. You can play golf with me any day. If you weren't slow, then I believe there shouldn't have been an issue, which leads to the next post which I agree with whole heartedly:

I put a great deal of blame on your host. I've invited guests to my club who are still learning. If someone asked to join our group or "play a game" I'd politely decline in order to protect my guest. Also, I typically will schedule a tee time which I know will give my guest(s) some extra time to play without being pushed from behind.

[MountainHip]

In bowling, at least everyone is limited to taking somewhere between 11 and 21 "strokes," and they all take place within about 100 square feet of realty between the bench and the foul line. I bowl too, and though I've played with slow bowlers, it's much easier to be a much slower golfer.

I see, good clarification.

However - to each his own.

[LBlack14]

It's that Country Club Premadonna Golfer attitude! I've worked at CC's now for 20 Years, on the course. Most people act as if their hand would fall off to shoot you a wave and say hello. I speak to everyone I see throughout the course of the day. The funny thing about it is I can play with or beat 80% of the SNOBS out there. But they're still too good for me. I have a friend who I've known for 15 years. He joined the club I currently work at. It's amazing his attitude toward me when he's playing and runs into me. Outside there he's all buddy buddy. I said FRIEND now I consider him an aquaintence and I let him know about it too. Now when he sees me he acts different. More personable. Just do what you do and try to enjoy yourself. I'da probably not slugged him, but I'da sure let him know to "SHUT THE F*@CK UP!!!"

[MPS67]

Hey ZombieGolfer,

I believe you did the right thing by leaving and removing yourself from a bad situation. We play golf for fun, not aggravation. Your playing teamate was a poor sport, out of line, and should have been more sensitive and encouraging, not demeaning.

Have you spoken with your friend or co-worker about the situation since last Saturday?

By the way, I'm also from Western NY (Rochester & the Keuka Lake area.) What CC did you play?

PM if you're close by and you'd like to play a round some day. I'm slowly working my way below 100 now, and would have no issue playing with someone who hits over 120.

Regards,

Mark