"One, ha ha ha!"

[Lihu]

Read what was written above.  If you haven't made a stroke at the ball then it is not in play and there is no penalty.  If you have already swung and whiffed the ball, then it is in play and there is a penalty.

Yup, I finally got it. I posted above that it was time for me to keep a rules book with me just in case (and read it, of course).

Apparently, it's not funny as I really added strokes to my card as a result of one of these commentaries. Live and learn.

[Fourputt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fourputt

Read what was written above.  If you haven't made a stroke at the ball then it is not in play and there is no penalty.  If you have already swung and whiffed the ball, then it is in play and there is a penalty.

Maybe off topic, but if you whiff, can you then hit your next ball off the tee?

Yes - in fact if it was on the tee when you whiffed it, then you must leave it on the tee for the next shot (unless the breeze from your manly swing knocked the ball off the tee ).  Anything else would be causing the ball in play to move by means other than making a stroke, and that is a penalty.  Once you have made a stroke and the ball is in play, then it must be played as it lies.

[rehmwa]

OK smarty pants how about this one.

You smack a ball and it goes awry.

MIRACULOUSLY, it bounces onto the top of a tee that was stuck in the ground on the ladies tee.  (Or a tee box on another hole, or a tee stuck out in the fairway for some unknown reason,  or it went straight up and then straight down and landing on another tee---like the head of a hammer).  Now you have a perfectly teed up ball to deal with...

of course rule 13.2.7.b,1 requires you to take a picture and also buy a lottery ticket.  but this is about play

1 - do you take relief due to it being up on top a man made object?  or:

2 - play it as it lies since it's not hindering your next shot?  or:

3 - some kind of penalty situation?  or:

4 - you have the option to choose 1 or 2.....

Let's say it lands on the foot of a spectator - a 7 foot tall angry man with a nail stuck in his head....13.2.7.b,1 still applies.

play it as it lies?  or do you get relief?  or do you give him 20 bucks to carefully walk to the green and kick it in the direction of the hole?

[rehmwa]

and the heck with the rules, I'm hitting it from the new tee

[rkim291968]

OK smarty pants how about this one.

You smack a ball and it goes awry.

MIRACULOUSLY, it bounces onto the top of a tee that was stuck in the ground on the ladies tee.  (Or a tee box on another hole, or a tee stuck out in the fairway for some unknown reason,  or it went straight up and then straight down and landing on another tee---like the head of a hammer).  Now you have a perfectly teed up ball to deal with...

of course rule 13.2.7.b,1 requires you to take a picture and also buy a lottery ticket.  but this is about play

1 - do you take relief due to it being up on top a man made object?  or:

2 - play it as it lies since it's not hindering your next shot?  or:

3 - some kind of penalty situation?  or:

4 - you have the option to choose 1 or 2.....

Let's say it lands on the foot of a spectator - a 7 foot tall angry man with a nail stuck in his head....13.2.7.b,1 still applies.

play it as it lies?  or do you get relief?  or do you give him 20 bucks to carefully walk to the green and kick it in the direction of the hole?

Buy a lottery ticket, of course.

True story:  A group behind us keep hitting balls past us.  Sure, one or two shots were blind shot for them but they should have known we were close by.   So, on one of those blind shots which the offending ball rolled past one of us in fairway, my partner puts the ball on a tee and leaves.   ( I would have just kicked it to an OB or in water some place.  Later, my other partner does just that after yet another past ball. ).   I would have love to hang around when the guy catches up and sees his ball on a tee in the fairway.  But it was a twilight round and we were trying to finish all 18 holes.

[pepsiplusconker]

Haha, this has turned into a on going joke when we play, it just keeps on running and running.

Obviously way say it with tongue in cheek because we know it's not really funny or original.

[rehmwa]

A group behind us keep hitting balls past us.  ..........  But it was a twilight round and we were trying to finish all 18 holes.

clearly so were they....

[rkim291968]

clearly so were they....

Yup, and we were stuck behind the front group.

Cheap courses, cheap golfers, ..., all leading to a ball on a tee in the middle of fairway.  Except (back to the topic) in this case, it won't be 1, ha, ha, ha.  The joke will be on my playing partner who will be penalized for a stroke or two (for touching another player's ball - no, not that way), or DQ'd (his cart taken away, get kicked out of course).

[vct33]

Maybe off topic, but if you whiff, can you then hit your next ball off the tee?

You MUST hit the next ball from the tee.  To remove it from the tee would require that you touch a ball that is "in play" which would be a penalty.

[Fourputt]

OK smarty pants how about this one.

You smack a ball and it goes awry.

MIRACULOUSLY, it bounces onto the top of a tee that was stuck in the ground on the ladies tee.  (Or a tee box on another hole, or a tee stuck out in the fairway for some unknown reason,  or it went straight up and then straight down and landing on another tee---like the head of a hammer).  Now you have a perfectly teed up ball to deal with...

of course rule 13.2.7.b,1 requires you to take a picture and also buy a lottery ticket.  but this is about play

1 - do you take relief due to it being up on top a man made object?  or:

2 - play it as it lies since it's not hindering your next shot?  or:

3 - some kind of penalty situation?  or:

4 - you have the option to choose 1 or 2.....

Let's say it lands on the foot of a spectator - a 7 foot tall angry man with a nail stuck in his head....13.2.7.b,1 still applies.

play it as it lies?  or do you get relief?  or do you give him 20 bucks to carefully walk to the green and kick it in the direction of the hole?

#4 applies - your choice.

Obviously you aren't truly looking for answers, you're just screwing around now.

[BuckeyeNut]

Why is there a moron in every group that has to say "One" and then laugh when you knock the ball off the tee?  It's so freaking annoying and with my pre-shot routine I knock the ball off the tee at least once or twice a round.

for the same reason there is always 1 @sshole that works in every office.........Everyone may get along great, but there is one jerk.

[Stretch]

Perfect fairway lie. Hit it massively fat. "Well out!" Chortle.

Die die die die die die.

[Crim]

This is a new joke for me....not gonna lie....I smiled. Once or twice per round? Ouch.

[MacDutch]

To play your shot from the tee in front of those spectators can be stressfull. It could also be a way to release the stress. This joke is common, also when I play with guys I like. So to the TS: stop touching the ball in your from the tee pre-routine. If you do it that much, you do something wrong.

[stealthduffer]

I actually prefer either 1) "you needed more club" or 2) "at least you hit it straight".  But that's just me.

[rehmwa]

#4 applies - your choice.

Obviously you aren't truly looking for answers, you're just screwing around now.

True - but it still always helps to bound the answer.  Sometimes, that means looking at the highly improbably scenarios to see if the rules are extendable to a point where they are truly applicable in all probable scenarios.  (i.e., look at the limits of it, if it still is clearly applicable, then you likely have a good rule and not a contrived one).

Plus, it's always satisfying to call someone "smarty pants".  Especially in this crowd with such a high percentage of people that seem to take themselves so very seriously all the time about a simple game.  thanks for understanding

[dbuck]

I tend to agree with the OP, that it is a tired old joke that some people still think is funny. It doesn't bother me much when people do it though-I just smile and shake my head. It was funny the first 1,000 times I heard it. I don't remember the last time I knocked the ball off the tee, but it was probably on a par 3 where I picked up a chipped tee and the ball fell off. You usually hear it from people who just heard it and think it is funny, and from old farts like me, some of whom think it is still funny. The only thing that bothers me is that it has been done so much that some people think it is a stroke. Most know it isn't, thus the point of the joke. In "Golf in the Kingdom", if I am not mistaken, Shivas made Michael count it as a stroke.

[dbuck]

I actually prefer either 1) "you needed more club" or 2) "at least you hit it straight".  But that's just me.

Now those are funny! Believe it or not, I've not heard those.