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friend or cheater?


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Posted

hello all,I am a new member since this morning,and it is because I want to know if others agree with me on a very touchy problem i have. i'll be brief as not to keep you all away from valuable practice time a friend(?) was asked whether he had broken a rule in yesterdays' golf tournament and he flatly denined that he had so the matter was dropped.BUT...... I was playing in his group and I know for a fact what he did was wrong....Still with me?? sorry but this is important to me that i have some feed back and I don't want to ask people I know because they will start with ?'s of their own follow me? MY ? IS; do I let him know that I know what he did was wrong and risk 10 years of friendship?,drop the matter? tell him to find another group?,etc,etc,etc.. thank you for any and all replies Flash


Posted
If you really think it will affect your friendship, I would drop it. But next time you see him do it, I'd call him on it. But bringing it up after the fact would not go over as well in my opinion.
Rynofskie

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Posted
thank you for your reply. I too feel that dropping the matter will allow me to forget(for now) and i'll just be a little more attentive in the future.thanks again,Flash.

Posted
If you know for sure what he did, I'd have to call him out on it. Especially since this was during a tournament. I would still play golf with this person but never for money or any kind of competitive match.

Kevin

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Posted
  flash said:
hello all,I am a new member since this morning,and it is because I want to know if others agree with me on a very touchy problem i have. i'll be brief as not to keep you all away from valuable practice time

How I would handle it

from this point depends on what he did. Was it a rule he knew? A buddy of mine didn't know OB was stroke + distance. I mentioned it to him when he hit OB and said he'd have to drop out there; this was when I found out that he didn't know the rule. It was a friendly game anyway, and I showed him the rule after the round. Or was it a rule he knew and he deliberately broke it?

-- Michael | My swing! 

"You think you're Jim Furyk. That's why your phone is never charged." - message from my mother

Driver:  Titleist 915D2.  4-wood:  Titleist 917F2.  Titleist TS2 19 degree hybrid.  Another hybrid in here too.  Irons 5-U, Ping G400.  Wedges negotiable (currently 54 degree Cleveland, 58 degree Titleist) Edel putter. 

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Posted
Well I will tell you my story I don't know if this will help or not but here goes. I had a "friend" for a very long time and I thought at that time he would do anything for me until I started playing golf because he had played all of his life and I just started while we were in college togther I thought he would know more than I would and he probably still does. He just under estimated my knowledge I guess. He would do little things like mark his ball and intentionally put the ball closer to the hole by a few inches everytime and I never once called him on it. One day we got into an arguement because he stated on a par 3 with water on the right side all the way down that he could drop on the other side of the water where his ball was going?? I still haven't figured out his rational on that. But, anyway I never called him on anything because I figured why throw away a "good" friend for something that could be construed as petty. Well, fast forward a couple of years and he was supposed to be my best man in my wedding and his wife my wife's matron of honor. He called me the week of the wedding and told me that they would try to make the rehearsal but he wasn't sure because he had to work. Then proceded to dog cuss me when I asked him to come up the night before to play golf. Any way I haven't spoken to him in a year and looking back if I were I would call him on it. A true friend will respect you more if you take a stand.

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Posted
aaaah hell, let it go.
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Posted
You dont have to bring it up in a matter that will ruin your friendship if its that important. If you think its going to cause some friction either way, then decide whether its important enough to keep buddy as a friend or call him out on a rule he broke.

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Posted
I have the same situation looming...

Longtime friend and golfing rival - 'John'. We play very competitive nassau's $$. A few weeks back, we played 36 holes. I was up early in the match - already being pressed after 3. John had just sunk a 12 foot par putt on #6 to go one up on the press.

On his second shot on the par 5 #7 he played the wrong ball from the fairway (it belonged to 'Fred' - a guy we just met). After realizing the ball that was 20 yards closer was his, John played his 'real' shot. We wound up halving the hole after he dropped in another 12 foot par putt.

As we walked back to the cart, I half-jokingly said, hey Johnny, let me get the rule book out to see what that penalty was for hitting a wrong ball. He said 'yeah right' and basically laughed it off. (I was giving him a friendly way to call it on himself, which he did not. I was disappointed. I should have got serious right at that point...but didn't).

He wound up sinking another freakin' 12 foot putt on the next hole to go 2up on the press. My momemtum was gone. He wound up smoking me the rest of the day. I lost $52 to him over 36 which is hugely lopsided for us.

Afterwards, I didn't want to come across as a sore loser so I didn't bring it up. Looking back...I should have.

I do need to ask him before we play again...are we going to play by the rules or are we going to let some slide? If so, which ones? I know this is wrong and I am sure he's going to agree - let's play by the rules (I hope).

BTW - Something similar happened a couple years ago. I caught him tamping down the grass behind his greenside chip shot. I called him on it, but he didn't take the penalty. He would up winning the hole. I was a little pissed that time but putting the friendship ahead, I didn't press the issue.

Now, I do not know if there's ever been a situation where he could have called me on a rule over the years and chose not to. I do know he's never actually called me on a rule that I didn't wind up taking.

Calling rules is a sensitive subject amongst friends. I enjoy playing against him. I just need to man-up and discuss this with him.

Flash ...I think you should do the same.

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Posted
Flash,

If you are playing a casual round among friends well you might want to drop it. But as you were playing tournament golf, I would make damn sure he knows what he did was wrong. You can hopefully do it in a way to save the friendship. But my thoughts are, I wouldn't want a friend who would cheat then break up a friendship because he got caught.

Powerfade,

If your playing for that kind of money your friend better damn well learn to play by the rules. A friendly round is one thing, a money round is another. My group plays for money as well, but we play according to the rules period. Last Saturday I accidentally dropped my club on my ball in the greenside rough. The club bumped the ball and the ball moved like 1/2 inch. Well I had to replace it and it cost me a stroke which in the end cost me 5 bucks. But it's the rules. I shouldn't have been so stupid as to toss my putter that close to where my ball was.

Anyway, in tournament golf and in money games there is absolutely no place for cheaters. If I had a friend who played fast and loose with the rules and then tried to take my money like that, he wouldn't be playing much golf with me anymore.

Danny    In my :ping: Hoofer Tour golf bag on my :clicgear: 8.0 Cart

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Posted
This is a very interesting topic.

I read this quote and think about it each time I play with someone new, " You can learn a lot about a man by playing a round of golf with him."

If someone is a sweetheart but breaks his clubs at every golf outing, he's a hothead just bottling up his anger (and probably taking it out on God-knows whom/what). If someone doesn't replace his divots, he has no respect for other people's property. The list goes on and on.

I've only begun playing golf, but I've found that golf parallels life in so many ways especially how people deal with adversity. If someone cheats in golf, he cheats in life. If someone lies during play, he lies in life.

Posted
I think the meme that is of particular importance is that of whether the player knowingly or unknowingly broke the rule. Since there is now some time that has past, I'd likely drop the matter of confronting the player in either case. However, I would keep it in mind for the future.

Posted
  NM Golf said:
Flash,

I agree NM. I need to stop this from happening again.

When I ask him whether we're gonna play by the rules, it's going to be a rhetorical question. Then I'll make him buy me lunch to make up for it

Driver: R7 SuperQuad TP 9.5° Fujikura Rombax 6X07
Hybrid: Rescue TP 19°

Orlimar3wood: Hip-Steel 15° (oldie but goodie)Irons: Ping i10 [4-GW] DG X-100Wedges: Ping Tour-W [54° & 58°] DG X-100Putter: i-Series Piper HBalls: B330-S or e5+


Posted
  Shindig said:
How I would handle it

Many players don't know or forgot about the distance. most groups just play drop the ball and take a penalty to speed up the play. If you think your ok and can't find your ball you usually can't go back to the tee to hit another, soon you find yourself playing that way all the time in matches with your friends. Not as many people in tournaments to be on top of the correct rules and end up playing modified rules for speeding up the game and believe their playing by the rules.

Some are so cheap they will play with balls I'd throw out of my shag bag. Many people can't play to their handicap because when forced to play by all the rules the strokes really add up fast.

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Posted
  NM Golf said:
Flash,

NM Golf,

I guess I learn something everyday. I always thought that if you unintentionally contact the ball with any club, say in a practice swing, you can reset the ball down without penalty.

Note: This thread is 6472 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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