Husband and Wife Relations

[Golfingdad]

Have any of you guys stopped to look around and realize how off the rails you are? Q: How much gold is too much for your wife? A: Famous people are *****s!!!! Wait, what???? PS. My ON TOPIC answer would be ... Enough golf such that I'm not keeping up my end of the bargain at home. Probably more than about twice a month on the weekend day and I'm pushing it.

[boil3rmak3r]

Have any of you guys stopped to look around and realize how off the rails you are?

Q: How much gold is too much for your wife?

A: Famous people are *****s!!!!

Wait, what????

PS. My ON TOPIC answer would be ... Enough golf such that I'm not keeping up my end of the bargain at home. Probably more than about twice a month on the weekend day and I'm

My answer is the exact same.  Mow the lawn, take my girls to volleyball/soccer practices, attend their games, work around the house, hang out and watch TV together at night...  It's pretty easy for me to know when I shouldn't go golfing... In fact, I'll pass up golfing anytime my girls suggest hanging out together.  I would much rather kick a ball around in the  back yard with my girls than golf.  Luckily, like my wife, they'd often rather sleep in on the weekends.

Duff - I feel sorry for you, man.  You seem to have been jaded by previous relationships...

[Duff McGee]

My answer is the exact same.  Mow the lawn, take my girls to volleyball/soccer practices, attend their games, work around the house, hang out and watch TV together at night...  It's pretty easy for me to know when I shouldn't go golfing... In fact, I'll pass up golfing anytime my girls suggest hanging out together.  I would much rather kick a ball around in the  back yard with my girls than golf.  Luckily, like my wife, they'd often rather sleep in on the weekends.   Duff - I feel sorry for you, man.  You seem to have been jaded by previous relationships...

M[quote name="boil3rmak3r" url="/t/26545/how-much-golf-is-too-much-for-your-wife/180#post_1194049"] My answer is the exact same.  Mow the lawn, take my girls to volleyball/soccer practices, attend their games, work around the house, hang out and watch TV together at night...  It's pretty easy for me to know when I shouldn't go golfing... In fact, I'll pass up golfing anytime my girls suggest hanging out together.  I would much rather kick a ball around in the  back yard with my girls than golf.  Luckily, like my wife, they'd often rather sleep in on the weekends.   Duff - I feel sorry for you, man.  You seem to have been jaded by previous relationships...  [/quote] Why would you feel sorry for me? I'm not jaded at all, actually. I am a cynic (I.e. I see the world as it actually is, not as I wish it was). I have two beautiful children that are healthy, smart, and wonderful people. I have a wife that is beautiful, sweet, funny, highly intelligent, and loves me more than anyone. I own a law firm and my wife runs the office. I may have one of the greatest lives on planet earth (I am biased but I truly do feel like I have the greatest life there could be), yet, the world is what the world is. Cynics are reviled but far more accurate predictors of human behavior than eternal optimists. That doesn't mean we don't have big hearts. In fact, I believe critical thinkers have much bigger hearts as they are objective minded enough to realize that people make mistakes because it is human nature.

[boil3rmak3r]

M

Why would you feel sorry for me? I'm not jaded at all, actually. I am a cynic (I.e. I see the world as it actually is, not as I wish it was).

I have two beautiful children that are healthy, smart, and wonderful people. I have a wife that is beautiful, sweet, funny, highly intelligent, and loves me more than anyone.

I own a law firm and my wife runs the office.

I may have one of the greatest lives on planet earth (I am biased but I truly do feel like I have the greatest life there could be), yet, the world is what the world is.

Cynics are reviled but far more accurate predictors of human behavior than eternal optimists.

That doesn't mean we don't have big hearts. In fact, I believe critical thinkers have much bigger hearts as they are objective minded enough to realize that people make mistakes because it is human nature.

We get it, you own a law firm.  Believe it or not, some of us make very good money as well...  The fact that your wife "runs the office" is an indicator to me that you may be limiting her.  My wife would never want to run my office.  She has her own ambitions...  Another way to control her???

All I'm saying is, stop giving relationship advice.  Talk golf related stuff, not how to control a woman.

[JonMA1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac62

Make sure to tell her to have a cold beer and a sammich waiting for you too.  That's always good for extra points.

Nice touch. I'll call her a b!tch on the way out too. That ill make it a lock!

Gotta keep the pimp hand strong! (Cowering and looking over my shoulder as I type this.)

PS. My ON TOPIC answer would be ... Enough golf such that I'm not keeping up my end of the bargain at home. Probably more than about twice a month on the weekend day and I'm pushing it.

Yep. I think this is the thing that would push my wife over the edge. I didn't start playing golf until our kids were old enough to take care of themselves - there were reasons for that.

The fact that we both work full-time means we share in the responsibilities around the home and we try to agree where money gets spent. If that makes me less than a real man, oh well.

[Duff McGee]

We get it, you own a law firm.  Believe it or not, some of us make very good money as well...  The fact that your wife "runs the office" is an indicator to me that you may be limiting her.  My wife would never want to run my office.  She has her own ambitions...  Another way to control her??? All I'm saying is, stop giving relationship advice.  Talk golf related stuff, not how to control a woman.

Huh? I don't even make "good money." I don't care about owning a law firm. My job is really boring too. The only reason I said that is because I'm telling you that I am not jaded and that my wife and I work as a team. I just showed your post to my wife and she is laughing. Control? Where are you getting this stuff? We have the opposite relationship. I "control" her 0%. Again, what is giving you the impression that I control my wife? I have said the exact opposite this entire time. Are you confusing me with someone else? Move been sticking up for the people that were getting trashed for not "telling the wife how it's going to be."

[Braivo]

Duff - I feel sorry for you, man.  You seem to have been jaded by previous relationships...

You cannot tell this from a forum post. Completely unnecessary statement. I was staying away from this thread because it has gone OT but I feel I need to defend Duff and his position here, which I agree with 100%. Don't feel sorry for Duff, he gets it, he knows how the world works and has used that knowledge to create a life he loves.

M

Why would you feel sorry for me? I'm not jaded at all, actually. I am a cynic (I.e. I see the world as it actually is, not as I wish it was).

I have two beautiful children that are healthy, smart, and wonderful people. I have a wife that is beautiful, sweet, funny, highly intelligent, and loves me more than anyone.

I own a law firm and my wife runs the office.

I may have one of the greatest lives on planet earth (I am biased but I truly do feel like I have the greatest life there could be), yet, the world is what the world is.

Cynics are reviled but far more accurate predictors of human behavior than eternal optimists.

That doesn't mean we don't have big hearts. In fact, I believe critical thinkers have much bigger hearts as they are objective minded enough to realize that people make mistakes because it is human nature.

Having a realistic view of the world gives you the power to fully enjoy it while understanding how it really works. Some are born with this view, others have a catalyst (failed relationship, etc.) that opens their eyes. Either way, once you've seen it for the way it really is you can never go back, and that's ok. It opens you up to a new level of happiness once you get past the initial bitterness phase. Duff shows no bitterness, and neither do I, I moved on from that years ago.

Are you a counselor or in a job where you do counseling?  Counseling men to act like misogynists didn't seem like good advice to me.  Taking the opposite direction because its counter did not work is usually not a good remedy, not in relationships anway.  I am not trying to be a dick, or be rude to you, just trying to understand.  I am not, but if I were a counselor I would try and counsel men to work towards a balance, to work with and use tools to help communicate and have open dialogue and discuss the virtues of having self interests and how they make a relationship stronger.

I am happy that you are in a better relationship.  Having the right partner makes all the difference, it is why I waited until later in life to get married.  I wanted to make sure I was marrying the right person for the right reasons.

Misogynist? Understanding that men and women are different by nature does not make you a misogynist. I live a life that I want to live. I have a place in that life for a woman to be a nice complement to it, where I can also be a nice complement to hers. I am not making anyone do anything they don't want to do. I am not trying to control anyone or take away their freedom. Everything Duff said about evolution is correct.

Back on topic: What you put into something is what you can expect to get out of it. Golf or relationships, it's all the same. If you put in a half ass round of golf every other weekend you are not going to improve and not get much enjoyment out of it. If you commit to practice and regular rounds you will see improvement and feel accomplishment. If you find yourself wanting to golf all of time rather than spend any time with your wife / gf then you aren't likely to get much out of your relationship. I enjoy golf and have a gf I enjoy spending time with. Often the best days are those that I golf early in the AM and come home and spend the day with her, the best of both worlds.

Getting married and having kids is a choice you make, the consequences of that choice involve a reduction in time available for golf as you devote resources to raising a young family. That should be your expectation going into it. It's when you think it's not going to be that way that you get into trouble. Trust me, as the kids get older you'll have plenty of time to golf, and even start bringing them along.

[Phil McGleno]

Oh I get it-This is the thread where @Duff McGee reveals that he thinks he is all knowing about something but really just keeps coming off like a fool because he read one book and has been married or slept with roughly 0.00000% of the female population. Cripes kid you have got a lot to learn. And what this has to do with playing golf is beyond me.-I live golf but enjoy my time away and most of that is spent with my wife, whom I cherish and consider a partner. Talk to me when you have been married 40 years.

[Duff McGee]

You cannot tell this from a forum post. Completely unnecessary statement. I was staying away from this thread because it has gone OT but I feel I need to defend Duff and his position here, which I agree with 100%. Don't feel sorry for Duff, he gets it, he knows how the world works and has used that knowledge to create a life he loves.  Having a realistic view of the world gives you the power to fully enjoy it while understanding how it really works. Some are born with this view, others have a catalyst (failed relationship, etc.) that opens their eyes. Either way, once you've seen it for the way it really is you can never go back, and that's ok. It opens you up to a new level of happiness once you get past the initial bitterness phase. Duff shows no bitterness, and neither do I, I moved on from that years ago. Misogynist? Understanding that men and women are different by nature does not make you a misogynist. I live a life that I want to live. I have a place in that life for a woman to be a nice complement to it, where I can also be a nice complement to hers. I am not making anyone do anything they don't want to do. I am not trying to control anyone or take away their freedom. Everything Duff said about evolution is correct. Back on topic: What you put into something is what you can expect to get out of it. Golf or relationships, it's all the same. If you put in a half ass round of golf every other weekend you are not going to improve and not get much enjoyment out of it. If you commit to practice and regular rounds you will see improvement and feel accomplishment. If you find yourself wanting to golf all of time rather than spend any time with your wife / gf then you aren't likely to get much out of your relationship. I enjoy golf and have a gf I enjoy spending time with. Often the best days are those that I golf early in the AM and come home and spend the day with her, the best of both worlds.  Getting married and having kids is a choice you make, the consequences of that choice involve a reduction in time available for golf as you devote resources to raising a young family. That should be your expectation going into it. It's when you think it's not going to be that way that you get into trouble. Trust me, as the kids get older you'll have plenty of time to golf, and even start bringing them along.

Thanks man. His response came so far out of left field that I was taken aback.

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by boil3rmak3r

We get it, you own a law firm.  Believe it or not, some of us make very good money as well...  The fact that your wife "runs the office" is an indicator to me that you may be limiting her.  My wife would never want to run my office.  She has her own ambitions...  Another way to control her???

All I'm saying is, stop giving relationship advice.  Talk golf related stuff, not how to control a woman.

Huh? I don't even make "good money." I don't care about owning a law firm. My job is really boring too. The only reason I said that is because I'm telling you that I am not jaded and that my wife and I work as a team.

I just showed your post to my wife and she is laughing. Control? Where are you getting this stuff? We have the opposite relationship. I "control" her 0%.

Again, what is giving you the impression that I control my wife? I have said the exact opposite this entire time. Are you confusing me with someone else?

Move been sticking up for the people that were getting trashed for not "telling the wife how it's going to be."

Ah, now I get it. You are just boasting that you are the perfect male and your wife the perfect female, and that, in your mind, any other relationship is substandard and likely doomed to adultery, pestilence and other such cynical things. . .

Just wanted to clarify.

[Duff McGee]

Ah, now I get it. You are just boasting that you are the perfect male and your wife the perfect female, and that, in your mind, any other relationship is substandard and likely doomed to adultery, pestilence and other such cynical things. . . Just wanted to clarify.

C'mon Lihu, give me a break. That is a ridiculous straw man. It's funny how just because you are a realist all the optimists attack you like you are some evil jerk. Why does it offend you that I see the world differently? It's my life and I can see the world however I want. I never once told you how you should act. You live your own life and I couldn't care less. Are you that insecure that me saying that nearly every person on earth has the capacity to cheat on their spouse under the right circumstances scares you or something? What does my opinion (an opinion very supported by evidence btw) bother you if you believe that the world is sunshine, rainbows, and puppy dogs?

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

Ah, now I get it. You are just boasting that you are the perfect male and your wife the perfect female, and that, in your mind, any other relationship is substandard and likely doomed to adultery, pestilence and other such cynical things. . .

Just wanted to clarify.

C'mon Lihu, give me a break. That is a ridiculous straw man.

It's funny how just because you are a realist all the optimists attack you like you are some evil jerk. Why does it offend you that I see the world differently? It's my life and I can see the world however I want.

I never once told you how you should act. You live your own life and I couldn't care less.

Are you that insecure that me saying that nearly every person on earth has the capacity to cheat on their spouse under the right circumstances scares you or something? What does my opinion (an opinion very supported by evidence btw) bother you if you believe that the world is sunshine, rainbows, and puppy dogs?

Yes, but you are only using that "realist" view when it comes to other people's relationships, while your own relationship is seemingly perfect. Just noting that this is how your stream of posts appear, and making a small joke at your expense. Sorry, if it was over the line. . .

[Gator Hazard]

You cannot tell this from a forum post. Completely unnecessary statement. I was staying away from this thread because it has gone OT but I feel I need to defend Duff and his position here, which I agree with 100%. Don't feel sorry for Duff, he gets it, he knows how the world works and has used that knowledge to create a life he loves.

Having a realistic view of the world gives you the power to fully enjoy it while understanding how it really works. Some are born with this view, others have a catalyst (failed relationship, etc.) that opens their eyes. Either way, once you've seen it for the way it really is you can never go back, and that's ok. It opens you up to a new level of happiness once you get past the initial bitterness phase. Duff shows no bitterness, and neither do I, I moved on from that years ago.

Misogynist? Understanding that men and women are different by nature does not make you a misogynist. I live a life that I want to live. I have a place in that life for a woman to be a nice complement to it, where I can also be a nice complement to hers. I am not making anyone do anything they don't want to do. I am not trying to control anyone or take away their freedom. Everything Duff said about evolution is correct.

Back on topic: What you put into something is what you can expect to get out of it. Golf or relationships, it's all the same. If you put in a half ass round of golf every other weekend you are not going to improve and not get much enjoyment out of it. If you commit to practice and regular rounds you will see improvement and feel accomplishment. If you find yourself wanting to golf all of time rather than spend any time with your wife / gf then you aren't likely to get much out of your relationship. I enjoy golf and have a gf I enjoy spending time with. Often the best days are those that I golf early in the AM and come home and spend the day with her, the best of both worlds.

Getting married and having kids is a choice you make, the consequences of that choice involve a reduction in time available for golf as you devote resources to raising a young family. That should be your expectation going into it. It's when you think it's not going to be that way that you get into trouble. Trust me, as the kids get older you'll have plenty of time to golf, and even start bringing them along.

I have already provided the quotes before including your comments such as " You do what you want and others follow your lead". If that is your idea of marriage or a relationship (especially one where kids are brought into the world) well, great for you. I especially liked your comment about women saying one thing and meaning another "What a woman says she wants and what a woman actually wants are two different things"

I was half waiting for you take the Michael Cain as Alfie approach and start calling women "birds". " I don't want no bird's respect - I wouldn't know what to do with it.", or perhaps this one since children were mentioned:  "If you lose a bird you can always replace her. But with a child it's different."

A realistic view of the world should include one where a man doesn't say that what a woman says she says she wan'ts isnt true.

Doesn't really matter to me, that is your relationship.  I just don't like it when people want to pretend they didn't say something, especially along the lines of anyone not meaning what they say.

[Gator Hazard]

Yes, but you are only using that "realist" view when it comes to other people's relationships, while your own relationship is seemingly perfect. Just noting that this is how your stream of posts appear, and making a small joke at your expense. Sorry, if it was over the line. . .

I wonder if it has anything to do with his relationship.  I would ask if he has ever cheated on his wife or she on him.  None of my business and I wouldn't expect an honest answer anyway if he had cheated.  Just seems like the rationalizing of a person who has done it to me.

I am not saying he has to be clear.

[Abu3baid]

I feel this thread has run its course..

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lihu

Yes, but you are only using that "realist" view when it comes to other people's relationships, while your own relationship is seemingly perfect. Just noting that this is how your stream of posts appear, and making a small joke at your expense. Sorry, if it was over the line. . .

I wonder if it has anything to do with his relationship.  I would ask if he has ever cheated on his wife or she on him.  None of my business and I wouldn't expect an honest answer anyway if he had cheated.  Just seems like the rationalizing of a person who has done it to me.

I am not saying he has to be clear.

Didn't think of this one. If that's the case, sorry @Duff McGee

I feel this thread has run its course..

Not yet. . .

Golf has more than likely been grounds for divorces in the past. . .https://www.institutedfa.com/Leading-Causes-Divorce/

I'm putting it into the "addiction" category.

[Duff McGee]

Oh good god. I've never cheated on even a girlfriend in high school. Up until about a year ago I was a devoted Christian and have only slept with 2 women in my life if you must know...my ex wife and my current wife. Same with her. This conversation reminds me of what happens when someone leaves a religion. People always assume you are "mad at God" because something must have happened to you to turn away. They never think, "Gee, maybe he just doesn't believe because he has a history degree, learns science in his spare time, has read more book for and against a god concept than I ever have, and he knows it's bull crap. No, that would be too scary a thought. He must have lost a close family member or something or God didn't answer his prayers so he got mad! I am a realist. Look up the definition. I see things for the way they are, not for the way I wish they would be. It's just like the golf delusion thread. The people like Mike and Erik see golf and golfers for who they really are because of life experience and vast amounts of research and study.

[Lihu]

Oh good god. I've never cheated on even a girlfriend in high school. Up until about a year ago I was a devoted Christian and have only slept with 2 women in my life if you must know...my ex wife and my current wife. Same with her.

This conversation reminds me of what happens when someone leaves a religion. People always assume you are "mad at God" because something must have happened to you to turn away.

They never think, "Gee, maybe he just doesn't believe because he has a history degree, learns science in his spare time, has read more book for and against a god concept than I ever have, and he knows it's bull crap. No, that would be too scary a thought. He must have lost a close family member or something or God didn't answer his prayers so he got mad!

I am a realist. Look up the definition. I see things for the way they are, not for the way I wish they would be.

It's just like the golf delusion thread. The people like Mike and Erik see golf and golfers for who they really are because of life experience and vast amounts of research and study.

http://www.corelogic.com/products/realist.aspx