how do i not sound like a jackass

**doublesuited77** · July 6, 2008

a similar situation has happened to me a few times in past month. And I need to find a tactful way to say something.

Often, I am paired with inexperienced golfers (more often than not women). They are usually incredibly nice people and keep up with the pace of play. One problem (which really gnaws at me).

After every time I made solid contact with the ball (which is pretty much every time). They always say "great shot" regardless of where the ball goes. I know you are saying "no big deal, whatever." However, after you hook a ball into a lake, someone saying "nice shot" really gets at you.

how do i say something without sounding like a jerk?

**meenman** · July 6, 2008

If you are more often than not getting pared up with women - enjoy it - they are hitting on you. Go home and score and then move on lmaorotf.

**Craig Mac** · July 6, 2008

a similar situation has happened to me a few times in past month. And I need to find a tactful way to say something.

Don't hook the ball in the lake

....jk, that is a tough one. They are just trying to be nice, just reply, "I didn't hit that one quite the way I wanted too" or something to that effect without any negative attitude.

**bruce** · July 6, 2008

Just say "yeah it was,but its a pity it was'nt on the fairway". Remember they probably don't get to see a low handicap golfer play that often and 9 out of ten of your shots are probably good so when they see you hit a bad one its probably still looks half decent to them,plus there probably trying to make you feel good.

**Harold** · July 6, 2008

I say tune it out and use it as a tool to reinforce not getting distracted by non-issues on the golf course. I'm sure on some level nearly all golfers who play with or watch better golfers think some shots are good when they may not be to the ball striker. Plus it's better getting the compliments than giving them.

**Lange** · July 6, 2008

After every time I made solid contact with the ball (which is pretty much every time). They always say "great shot" regardless of where the ball goes. I know you are saying "no big deal, whatever." However, after you hook a ball into a lake, someone saying "nice shot" really gets at you.

Well you could always start playing hackers golf lol... or just take it theres really nothing you can do without coming off as cranky none the less, but perhaps try finding people to golf with that you know avoiding getting paired up.

**rogerhuang** · July 6, 2008

a similar situation has happened to me a few times in past month. And I need to find a tactful way to say something.

Here's an idea. Instead of worrying and complaining about people who are just being nice to you, how about learning about how not to hook a ball into a lake.

Focus on learning to play good shots. That way, when people say "nice shot", you'll know they really mean it, as opposed to being nice to you. This board is about playing good golf and reviewing golf equipment. Posts like yours belong on the Montel Williams show....

**sacm3bill** · July 6, 2008

Like the original poster, I'm guilty of being annoyed when someone says "nice shot" just because I made good contact, even though it sliced into the trees or ended up in a bunker. I know I shouldn't be annoyed, because they're just trying to be nice/supportive. I have the same inclination to praise others' shots. But let this thread serve as a reminder that you should withhold compliments until you get an idea of A) where the ball is going to end up , or B) what kind of player the person is and what they consider to be a good vs bad shot.

It's all part of the etiquette, right?

***iacas*** · July 6, 2008

Here's an idea. Instead of worrying and complaining about people who are just being nice to you, how about learning about how not to hook a ball into a lake.

Hey, I mean, I can see the guy's point too. I play with a lot of high handicappers in a Tuesday "semi-league" I'm in. They play a skins game and I'm just there for the heck of it as a permanent substitute. They say "great shot" just about any time someone gets the ball airborne, and they say "great shot" to me if I hit the green from outside of 50 yards.

It's pretty annoying. It used to really kind of get to me, and I even think it would negatively impact my play, and I'd say things like "I toed it a little" or whatever. I've since realized they are just being nice, and they have a different frame of reference. To them, being on the third green in two is a good shot, regardless of the 50-foot birdie putt I left myself. So now I either don't say anything (most of the times they say it as they drive by anyway, so they're not around to hear me say anything anyway) or I say "thanks." If it's a friend or a guy I've played with a lot, I might say "toed it a bit, but it'll work, thanks."

**b-squared** · July 6, 2008

Ahh yes, this happens quite a few times when I'm playing with higher handicappers. I try not let it bother me, but it still happens at times. I usually thank them and move on, but at times, I'll tell them it still wasn't as good as I'd want it to be.

I've since realized they are just being nice, and they have a different frame of reference. To them, being on the third green in two is a good shot, regardless of the 50-foot birdie putt I left myself."

Yeah, that's pretty much the reason why some of us are annoyed when some say those things. They just have a different point of view. What we think is a good shot and what they think is a good shot are two different "good shots"...

**TigerCurtis333** · July 6, 2008

Yeah something like, "Sounded nice, looked nice but didn't end up where I wanted it to."

My father used to do that, it really only botherd me when it was a brutally awful shot. I make contact, know instantly it's going left, and I hear "Nice shot!". Ugh.

**doublesuited77** · July 6, 2008

it is the "complements" on the brutally awful ones that really bother me. If someone says "great shot" after I hit a 90 yard gap wedge to 50 feet, no big deal. But when I hit a drive through the fairway into marshaland, it really bother me.

Personally, I will never say "nice shot" to some one I am playing with for the first 3 or 4 holes unless someone holes out from the fairway because I need to be able to see what should be a good shot for them.

**Bogie Hokie** · July 6, 2008

My dad and grandfather tell me "Nice shot" fairly often when I don't think it is a nice shot. When my grandfather says it I just turn my head and don't say anything, when my dad says it I say "No it wasn't, don't say anything" and he gets pissed at me. It happens most frequently around the green because they can't pitch/chip, I am pretty good at it and expect to be close to the hole. When it goes rolling past the hole or I leave it short, I get pissed.

***iacas*** · July 6, 2008

it is the "complements" on the brutally awful ones that really bother me. If someone says "great shot" after I hit a 90 yard gap wedge to 50 feet, no big deal. But when I hit a drive through the fairway into marshaland, it really bother me.

Yeah, that's tough. One of my older friends (a former teacher of mine) has worsening eyesight, so he can only see the ball the first 150 yards or so. On a drive, that's often right up to the point before it starts hooking or slicing.

So he'll say "great drive!" just as your ball starts cutting into a fairway bunker... I've learned to almost anticipate him saying it now and chuckle inwardly when he does it. Then I chuckle again when we get up to my ball and he's surprised it's in the bunker (or whatever).

**rogerhuang** · July 6, 2008

My dad and grandfather tell me "Nice shot" fairly often when I don't think it is a nice shot. When my grandfather says it I just turn my head and don't say anything, when my dad says it I say "No it wasn't, don't say anything" and he gets pissed at me. It happens most frequently around the green because they can't pitch/chip, I am pretty good at it and expect to be close to the hole. When it goes rolling past the hole or I leave it short, I get pissed.

What I love about golf is that playing well requires complete mastery of one's emotions and resolute discipline. Your playing opponents and the field cannot directly influence or negatively impact your shots (indirectly is another story). Only you can beat you.

Again, if you let people anger you when all they are trying to do is be nice with a few words, you have no discipline and certainly have no mastery over your emotions. As a result, you will never truly play to your true potential.

**Southpaw** · July 7, 2008

It annoys me too and most of the time I'll just say "Aahhh, no I didn't hit it right, but it works."

But I snap when my dad says it to me, I don't know why.

**g-funk13** · July 7, 2008

I think that staying inside your own game when playing with others of differing abilities can be the steepest mental challenge in the game.

Wonder what Tiger feels like when pros say "good shot" after something mediocre for him.

**DJYoshi** · July 7, 2008

I'll only say nice shot if
A. you see the ball going where it's supposed to
B. good ball flight and it's still pretty much playable within a 10 yard radius of where he/she meant
C. they're working the ball/shaping the shot the way it needed to be shaped

i will not say nice shot when they hit a worm burner that ends up on the green after rolling on the ground for 178 yards. i'll just smile and laugh to myself about it.

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