Got paired with bad manners...

[sonomajake]

Got paired this past weekend with a guy in Napa Valley that had issues. This guy constantly berated himself for his own lack of perfection. He would swear at himself, call himself names. He also threw clubs and was generally just not fun to be around for me and my buddy. This guy was at least 10 years older than me and a regular at the course. Any ideas on what one should do in this situation? At first and for a while it was funny, but after the first nine and similar behavior it was wearing on us. If anyone else has had an experience similar it would be nice to share. Thanks.


PS Rob from West Virginia you were a dick.

[Drennen13]

Harsh dude, next time toss him a beer and tell him to shut up.

[Greg]

I used to behave a little like this guy, minus the club tossing, but some talking to myself, swearing, overanalysing everything, many times saying stuff out loud that I should keep to myself. It took someone else making me aware that i looked stupid and people really dont like to play with someone like that and I corrected a lot of this behavior. Some people just arent aware that their behavior bothers other people, they only care about themselves. I try to be more positive and lighthearted now so that when things dont go well i mostly just laugh about it instead of getting upset because if you're not a great golfer, you shouldnt get upset over bad shots, you should be pleased when you make good ones. I played yesterday and was frustrated at times because I dont feel I played very well but managed to keep my cool and keep the game moving.

[shades9323]

I would just ignore them next time.

[Shindig]

I've always wondered what would happen if someone had bad manners and swore at himself and I agreed with him when he did so.

"I'm such a jerk!"
"You sure are!"


I wonder if it would fix such a situation.

[Chief Broom]

I would have headed to club house at the turn and let him go on ahead. If he acted like he was going to wait and finish his round with me I'd tell him to go on ahead because I wasn't sure if I would play the back nine or not.

[HSip]

You said it all when you said he wasn't fun to be around. For me, I either want to like my playing partners or not be bothered by my playing partners. When I've gotten paired up with someone who is really volatile - I try my best to ignore them and when the round is finished I do my best to never get paired with them again. Life's too short and golf is too great a game for that. Cheers

[cougar978]

Got paired this past weekend with a guy in Napa Valley that had issues. This guy constantly berated himself for his own lack of perfection. He would swear at himself, call himself names. He also threw clubs and was generally just not fun to be around for me and my buddy. This guy was at least 10 years older than me and a regular at the course. Any ideas on what one should do in this situation? At first and for a while it was funny, but after the first nine and similar behavior it was wearing on us. If anyone else has had an experience similar it would be nice to share. Thanks.

I think these types of people fall into two categories:

1) Low handicappers who want to go out and smoke everyone every time they're out there, and get frustrated when they don't, or can't do it (I fall into this category, and I'm sure I've been talked about for cursing, maybe a helicoptering club here or there, etc). Personally, I put a lot of work into maximizing my (albeit minimal) talent on the course. When things work out right, it's like a well-oiled machine, but when they don't, look out. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's just part of who I am. 2) High handicappers (or vanity handicappers) who make themselves believe they are better than they are - and then have an absolute meltdown when things start going wrong. I was once playing in a money match against a guy who claimed he tried out for the US Open in 2000 or 2001, and I was four shots down with six to go (Up until 13, I was playing like a three-legged cat trying to bury turds on a frozen pond). Anyway, I birdied 13 and 14 to close the gap to two, and then on 16, the guy completely implodes trying to play a pitch shot from thick rough (took him four times to get on the green) - he ended up taking a 7 on the hole. He refused to ride in the cart with the other guy, and me and my friend were trying to not crack up laughing at him. After 18, I went to shake his hand after the bets were paid and he refused to shake my hand. He accused me of talking during his backswing when he was trying to get out of the rough. OK, number one, I was watching him to make sure he didn't try to 'nudge' his ball in the rough, and number two, the other two guys in our group were talking when he was setting up, and I said something like 'guys, let him hit.' to get them to be quiet. Some people have very distorted realities of who they are once they get on the course.

[whetstone]

Doesn't matter if it's golf, at work, or any other social setting. A guy who is a dick just isn't fun to be around. Just don't let other people control your feelings or behavior.

[schapman]

I got hassled a bit by my brothers friend for putting before him yesterday.

A) he is slow
B) was still reading his putt
C) I was just putting out a 2 footer

I told him we're playing ready golf, and that doesn't mean everyone waits until he's ready to shoot ;)

It's a busy course and I don't want to be the ones holding things up. I'm not a great golfer (as my handicap can show), but I'll play quick so the good guys can enjoy their days too.

[iWALK18]

I got hassled a bit by my brothers friend for putting before him yesterday.

If you putt the ball to within a few feet, it is actually etiquette to give you the option to putt out your ball.

[HSip]

If you putt the ball to within a few feet, it is actually etiquette to give you the option to putt out your ball.

You're absolutely right and this is one small way to make a round go a bit faster. If someone putts it close and wants to tap it in that is fine with me. Marking a short putt then waiting for someone else to putt, replacing their ball and then tapping it in (especially if it's a foursome doing it) adds appreciably to the time of the round.

[flopdarock]

to the OP... been there done that...
thank goodness the majority of strangers ive been paired up with have been decent polite ppl regardless of how well/badly they played...
the occasional jerk slips in every now and then...
i try my best to ignore them if they allow you to ignore them... and depending on how the first 9 goes... if it goes bad... they or i get dropped off at the turn

[wedge player]

I think these types of people fall into two categories:

i am like this i do not care about smoking competition its when after 8 straight bogeys i start getting aggitated because i am not peforming to my expectations.

[Shindig]

It's a busy course and I don't want to be the ones holding things up. I'm not a great golfer (as my handicap can show), but I'll play quick so the good guys can enjoy their days too.

As far as I'm concerned, the good manners you described make you a great golfer, independent of score. We need to find a way to distinguish people who are great to have on the golf course from people who shoot low scores, because there's plenty in each category that aren't in the other.

[sonomajake]

As far as I'm concerned, the good manners you described make you a great golfer, independent of score. We need to find a way to distinguish people who are great to have on the golf course from people who shoot low scores, because there's plenty in each category that aren't in the other.

this is knowledge, i added to your clearly great reputation for this. more people need to learn this kind of appreciation. i think golf is the quintessential its not whether you win or lose but how you play the game. everyones goal this year should be to try to become the golf partner our friends deserve....