High School advice

[aca247]

I am entering high school next year and am looking for advice on things not to do. to give you a little bit of background info i am not exactly a ladies man but i am the only guy in my grade who hasnt had a girlfriend

[Jay-Bird]

Don't...
be afraid to ask a girl out.
forget to shower, brush your teeth, use deodorant every morning.
smoke or chew.
try too hard.

Do...
get a car.

[Shindig]

to give you a little bit of background info i am not exactly a ladies man

I'm 26, and I'm going to be the old fogey here. What do you need a girlfriend for at your age? You don't have anything to prove to anyone, and really, the benefits you imagine aren't happening with the frequency you think they are. For what it's worth, I regret dating in high school, except for one thing (not what you think -- see below).

I am entering high school next year and am looking for advice on things not to do.

For starters, don't listen to anyone who says high school is the best years of your life. If the best years of anyone's life were in high school, there's a problem. The only people I know who say that were high school sports stars who couldn't end up playing for a college, and didn't spend anytime on academics because they were certain they'd be in the NFL/NBA someday.

(If anyone on the board had the best years of his or her life in high school, and doesn't fall into this category, I'd love to hear the story, and not as a challenge, either) By the way, that's not to say to give up sports. Play whatever sports you enjoy for your high school if you can. Play junior golf if you enjoy it. Consider playing and trying to get on a college team. But even if you find yourself with a +8 handicap, don't ignore your studies. Don't do anything that would mess up your life. If you do date, learn about protection. I knew enough guys in high school who threw their lives away by making one. As nice as it is that guys like that enable me to get my oil changed for twenty bucks at the Jiffy Lube, I don't want it happening to anyone I care about. Even worse than that is committing a crime (and getting caught) : while there are people who have kids at a young age and manage to do well, there aren't too many people with criminal records and great lives. If you do want to date, have no fear of the girls. In fact, the only reason I'm partially glad I dated a bit in high school was that I had no fear asking girls out in college. I'm not saying to go embarrass yourself in front of people you'll be with for the next four years, but it's good to practice this process. While we're at it, stay away from addictive drugs. But if your parents drink, ask them if you might be able to join them for a small amount on occasions. I knew my tolerances and preferences long before I got to college, and have always been a responsible drinker. Don't neglect your studies. I don't just mean to do well in class, but that's important too. Find out what sort of learning excites you. This will go a long way towards helping you figure out what you want to major in when you get to college, and to decide on one, and will generally making school learning a lot more pleasant if you see it as going somewhere. My own experience was that English class was a lot more tolerable when I realized the importance of code documentation. Other friends of mine found science a lot more tolerable, despite wanting to be writers, when they found out that science writing pays well. Don't change who you are to fit in or make anyone happy, unless you're doing something that seriously upsets your parents. Five years from now, there will be only a small number of people in your hometown you care about, and they'll be ones who like you for who you are. I know that sounds cliche. I'm sure I'll think of other things not to do. In the meantime, don't be afraid to ask questions.

[aca247]

I'm 26, and I'm going to be the old fogey here. What do you need a girlfriend for at your age? You don't have anything to prove to anyone, and really, the benefits you imagine aren't happening with the frequency you think they are. For what it's worth, I regret dating in high school, except for one thing (not what you think -- see below).

i am really embaressed around girls and that is one of the reasons i am asking

[Shindig]

i am really embaressed around girls and that is one of the reasons i am asking

Ah! I didn't realize your topic was intended to be so focused. Man, my commentary above must seem out of place.

I'll (hopefully) think of something brilliant - or at least reasonable - to come up with to say to give you advice on that in the near future. The short story is, most of the girls at that age are nervous/embarrassed around guys. Being comfortable around the preferred sex is something that comes with experience and practice.

[JT SCRATCH]

ok so since im an old 29 y/o married guy, i will offer some advice regarding women and high school.

-First and foremost you need to develop confidence in yourself. if you don't believe in yourself, nobody else will
-Put your toe in the water first, don't just jump right in. try to become friends with some girls the first few weeks of school. ask them questions, get to know them and guys for that matter. Everyone is in the same boat the first week or so, trying to make friends and establish their crowd
-Always treat girls/women with respect. They are not objects and as much as people try to degrade women, and use them, just always ask yourself would you want someone to treat your sister or mother that way.
-get involved in something at schoo. not sure if you play sports, or are involved in any extra curicular clubs, but get involved. Its a great way to meet girls with similar interests.
-Be safe and always think about the concequences of your actions.
-and lastly, as said before, dont be afraid to get rejected. Every guy out there has been rejected by multiple women, but at least they had the stones to ask for the date. Exchange numbers with some ladies, and do the facebook, texting, etc thing. (something i wish i had when i was in hs) go to the school dances and ask some different girls to dance. just walk right up to them, and be polite, and ask them for a dance. the world is your oyster. Enjoy HS, but dont let it overwelm you. As long as you are happy, then life is good.

[Teklabz]

High School is tough, I wasn't popular starting out in a new school system, was awkward around everybody, not just, but especially the girls too. Just be yourself, first and foremost. Know who your true friends are, be respectful to everybody but don't knock yourself out trying to make everyone like you, it'll have the opposite effect. Respect yourself first. The people that treat you like crap aren't worth your time, don't worry about it. In high school it's all about cliques and crap, but in college you see people being friends that wouldn't have had a chance in HS. Keep your head down and do well in your classes, look forward to what college has in store!

[kpaulhus]

Im 22 so Ive only been out of Highschool for 4 years. I wouldnt say it was the best time of my life, but those 4 years will be top 5 for a while. Only lost 2 football games my entire career (42-2)...2 giant state championship rings, and I lost my third state game against Tim Tebow of all people. I played Ice hockey and was the biggest kid in the league at 6'3 265. I loved being in HS without all of the adult life responsibilites.

That being said, Im so glad I make real money now and can afford to do things that were out of the question in Highschool. Back then having $250, to me,was equal to about $10,000 now.

[weavej2]

Dude, join the schools acting/theater..do some light acting ..those girls are always looking for straight guys..

[aca247]

Ah! I didn't realize your topic was intended to be so focused. Man, my commentary above must seem out of place.

ok so since im an old 29 y/o married guy, i will offer some advice regarding women and high school.

my topic was actually vague shindig i was just trying to say thanks and shindig, i play golf and completely agree with you in that you should treat women with respect i see girls go to the worst of guys which really makes me mad sometimes

[clubchamp]

High school is a good time and as for ladies that will come with time. You will come across a girl that has mutual interest all you have to do is be yourself around her. The biggest thing is to not listen to the kids who always have comments about every kid that's not one of them. Good luck man high school is fun times but college is the real deal so keep your head on straight!

[right handed phil mickelson]

my topic was actually vague shindig i was just trying to say thanks and shindig, i play golf and completely agree with you in that you should treat women with respect i see girls go to the worst of guys which really makes me mad sometimes

I'm a sophomore. I'm going to try my best to help you out with this.

GIRLS go for guys like that. WOMEN go for the guys that respect them. Just keep on respecting those ladies and they'll be all over you soon enough. The majority of girls go for the guys with a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to crack a few jokes around girls. The best way to get comfortable with being around a girl is to hang out with a couple girls with some of your guy friends. In that situation it's easy to carry on a conversation and not get awkward. Talk how you would talk if it was just you and your guy friends, but just be a little conscious of anything too nasty. Girls aren't into any of that. At all. Next to humor is sweetness and respect. Ladies love a guy who's courtious and respectful. Go out of your way to hold open doors for them. Have manners around them. Be polite. Word will spread faster than you'd think about how nice of a guy you are. To the whole girl population. They have an interconnectedness thats unmatched in any other species... Don't freak out about not having a girlfriend already. I didn't have a girlfriend (or even my first kiss for that matter) until 6 months ago. I was 15. Still a sophomore in high school. Plus, it's really not wise to have a girlfriend in high school, unless you found the right girl, and plan on marrying her (I have, and I do (no pun intended)). They cost a lot of money, so unless you have a job, it's really a good idea to stay low for a while longer. A good amount of relationships in high school never make it to marriage anyway. Where you're most likely to find the right girl is in college. That's where you'll see that she has the same interests as you, and you'll be around each other a lot more. They say your high school years are the best years of your life. Nah, I think it got misconstrued and was originally "High School years are some of the best years of your life." College is where you're going to have the most fun. High school is still great though. It's a time where you get to have you're last harrah as a kid, and just be free. Then you have to get a job...and a car...and a house... and blah blah blah. High school is great, but college is where its at. Use your high school years to develop some social skills with the opposite sex. Once you finish growing a little bit, you'll be more comfortable with your body and will have more confidence around women. (Can I change my order of what women like in a guy? Confidence is right in between humor and respect). Also, keep working and focusing on that golf game. It looks like you're doing what I'm doing, and you're going to use it to get into a good college ;). Have fun in high school man. You're gonna love it. ~RHPM

[clubhousehero]

Ok. For high school in general, i thought it was great times. i did my work, never got in trouble and still had plenty of fun. What i liked about it was everyday i got to see my friends and i never let the other stuff bother me.

Advice for HS in general is to do as much as possible. One of my regrets from HS was not trying out for the football team. I moved to the suburbs from the bronx and my old school didn't have football so i was intimidated to try out. looking back i realized i should have done it. I was athletic enough since i played basketball and Baseball and baseball in college too. Now i will never get the chance to play competitive football. I also could have taken up an instrument or painting or something but i never did. I guess what i'm saying is HS offers lots of oppertunities to try, experience and learn many different things that will only get more difficult to learn/experience/try after you graduate.

Also, to Quote John Wayne "life is hard, it's harder if your stupid." You have one long life with plenty to look forward too. Please make good decisions.

As for girls. They like confidence. Be cool calm and collected. let a girl know you are interested but don't over do it. And don't get discouraged your freshman year, it only gets better after that.

[aca247]

god i hope i dont grow much more im 6,1 , have size 15 feet and just turned 14

[canes113]

i am the only guy in my grade who hasnt had a girlfriend

Dude, I never had a girlfriend in high school so don't let that phase you. If it happens great, but your grades and sports are much more important for college than some chick. Just wait til you get to college.... my advice is join a frat and you'll have plenty of girls.

[jamo]

You are the only guy in your entire grade not to have a girlfriend by freshman year?!? That's crazy.

I would advise not using the catchprase in your signature. Other than that, I think RHPM has it covered....

[Dub]

Guess what....they can be just as embarassed.

Work on your self confidence. Know who you are and what you stand for. Be confident that you are headed in the right direction in life. This will appeal to the right kind of girls.

The more you chat with them, the more comfortable you will be. Make it your goal to befriend a girl....just for friends sake. She can help you gain confidence through day to day interaction. She can even help introduce you to her friends.

Stay away from the burnout loosers that exhist. You know who they are. Stick with folks that have something going for them...good students....active in their churches and athletics.

[Jay-Bird]

...

I was thinking the same thing, I just couldn't say it!