I Usually Lose to a Friend with a 'No-Good' Swing

[pal7373]

My good buddy and I like to play once a week whenever possible.   I fully admit he is a better scorer than I am.  I'll come in around 90 and he about 86 by average.

I love the nuances of the proper swing /short game mechanics while and trying to emulate proper techniques. He on the other hand is a purely feel player who (admirably) understands his unusual swing and is able to reproduce it often enough to keep the ball in play and scramble to par more times than not.    Usually my only severance is that I'm told how good my mechanics are.   That's little solace at the end of each round of course.

I honestly believe that ultimately I would be the better player if we both had the same professional instruction; that somehow I'd be viewed as 'a better golfer' regardless of scoring ability...that somehow I need less instruction to be a 6 handicapper than him.  Neither of us ever had lessons but everyone agrees I have 'the swing ability' while he has 'the scorer's ability'.

Most 9-5 folks with a family don't have the time to take lessons and put in the practice necessary to take it to the 'next level'.

So what to do?.....abandoned 'the swing' and focus on the feel and 'the score'?  Should I 'suck it up' and take lessons?   Or just believe in my own mind that somehow I'm a more admired golf because I have a 'better' sering?

[Shorty]

I don't understand why you are upset.

Last time I checked, it was about scoring.

Your friend is a better player than you.

So what? You think that your swing looks better than his? Why should that count.

Enjoy the game.

BTW - his swing seems to be resulting in better scores, so, all the talk about "swing ability" is meaningless. His swing is enabling him to make better scores.

Saying to a poor scorer that they have "good mechanics" is like saying that an ugly girl has a "nice smile". People are trying to be nice.

Anyone who cares looks at your scores, not your swing.

[lucasincus]

Square your club face on full shots and most importantly, invest in your putting -- lessons, ball, putter, whatever -- invest in your putting.

[LuciusWooding]

What I usually do is draw 2 little eyes on the ball so it can see my beautiful swing and it knows to jump in the path of the club. How else is it supposed to know the difference between me and my buddy?

Focus, setup fundamentals and putting. If you're a technical player who doesn't do those things well, you're screwed. You can return a pretty bad swing to the ball if you set up properly, but you'll make poor contact if you combine a consistent swing with inconsistent setup. If your buddy is out of position, he can adapt because he's worried about contact. You are worried about mechanics and will generate better power and direction but only if you hit it solid.

In all honesty I used to be in the same position as you last year, then 2 or 3 rounds of beating my buddy by a stroke a hole took place. What happened this season was that my buddy doesn't care about getting better while I do; eventually your attitude, not just the amount of practice time or your philosophy, will determine if you get better. My friend was pretty lousy in the long game, especially off the tee, is hopeless in bunkers, and didn't have a great short game unless there was no trouble. But he putted a lot better than me until I committed to learning a putting stroke, and it turns out getting rid of my own penalty strokes was important. That's not that hard, all you need to do is hit irons off the tee and there's no trick to that. Next, commit to learning some putting fundamentals; Stuff like eyes over the ball, palms opposed, quiet wrists, and make your stance and setup very deliberate and consistent. I went from hopeless to respectable on the greens just by not ignoring putting, and it makes a huge difference. It's really not that hard to 2 putt on most holes. Certainly a lot easier than hitting GIR. I hit about 6 per round last year a couple times but didn't break 90; that's not great. Not to mention actually making birdies once in a while can make the scorecard look better. Finally, get up and down from within 5 yards of the green. No excuse there. It's probably easier than 2 putting to be honest.

Setup fundamentals in general need to be assessed and stuck to. Check your grip, it's impossible to play good golf without a good grip. Ball position, stance and posture. If you don't line up properly and get lazy, even the best swing will not hit the ball solid. That was a big deal for me improving my misses; I used to be fearful of a slice or push and tried tweaking everything; it turned out to be too strong a grip and standing too close to the ball. No matter what I did in my swing in terms of power and adjusting my shot shape, it hit off the heel. Can't hit a good draw off the heel. No amount of forgiveness will make that shot look pretty. Simply hanging my arms straight down instead of keeping them in near my waist made my last few rounds much better.

i can tell you that for a 90 shooter, especially one who is so steady, making par will win and bogey will tie. He's not scrambling for par "more times than not" unless he triple or quadruple bogeys on a regular basis, and based on your description of him I doubt he's that inconsistent. He's in your head and you're thinking he's making par but believe me he's not. Not if it adds up to 86 at the end of the day. Make sure you properly keep score and don't take free drops and mulligans without noting it. My buddy usually reloaded when he went OB without making a big deal over it and it made it seem like he was shooting better than he really was just by attitude. We were probably shooting within 4 strokes of each other most of the time but I rightly get pissed when I hit OB or take a penalty while he stayed calm, made it seem like he was getting the best of me when he was actually hacking it up as bad as me.

[David in FL]

Swing stick. Hit ball. Make ball go in hole. Ultimately that's all that matters.

[daSeth]

I guess it depends on where you are losing strokes.  Do you keep track of fairways, putts, GIR?  For me, when I hit fairways and greens, I score well.  When I don't hit fairways and greens, I don't score well.  I putt pretty well, and I am fairly handy chipping around the greens.  Most of my bad holes come from a bad tee shot and it just spirals from there (I am getting better at recovery, though).  Occasionally, I hit a good tee shot and miss a green in a tough spot where it's pretty improbable to get up and down.  For me, hitting bad shots causes my score to rise.

My theory is that if you are not hitting consistently good shots, something in your swing needs to change.  Keep working on it until you get it right.  If your buddy is hitting good shots, he is doing something right.  There are a lot of "ugly" swings out there that are very good through impact in terms of swing plane, squaring the club face, impact position etc...  Buy a camera, tape your swing, check it out, work on it.  It's been very helpful to me.  You might not be that far away, if you get a lot of complements.  IMHO.

[kathybhylton]

Don't feel bad about it. If you keep wondering why you lose to your friend, you will end up being uneasy and discomfort in playing. Just relax and enjoy!

[Chief Broom]

I agree with shorty.  People are just being nice when they say you have good "mechanics".

Golf is a game of controlling the ball.  We do so by swinging, but no matter what swing you have or how it looks what matters is being able to hit the shot you want when you want it.  The only true hallmark of a good golfer is being able to control their shot and the placement of their ball on the course.  When you have this control over your ball you see better scores.  I'm guessing between you and your buddy you may well look the part of an accomplished golfer but your buddy has better control over his ball.  How you go about gaining better control over your ball is up to you.  Lessons can help.  So too can letting go of the notion that looking good has any bearing on what you ultimately have to put down on your scorecard.

It sounds to me like you're a little put out that your buddy is a better golfer than you.  He certainly isn't as image conscience about his game as you, and I'll bet he doesn't put anywhere near the thought and effort into his game as you do, and yet he still manages to beat you consistently.  I agree this can be annoying, but part of the realization you need to make is that your buddy actually has better mechanics and fundamentals than you and that is what enables him to shoot lower scores than you.

[Motley01]

I can definatley understand you.

I also have a friend with an unusual swing. It's very upright and John Daly like backswing. But it works for him, he hits high draws every time, no matter what club he uses. He's also a good putter.

He beats me every time we play. He seems to get better, while I stay the same.

It's all about practice. You gotta put in the time to groove your swing. Otherwise just accept it and have fun. That's what the game is all about.

[el shanko]

drink a beer and roast one and enjoy the round of golf outdoors with your buddy

[bigwave916]

I may be reading in between the lines of your well written and gramatically correct post, but I'd suggest you take a good look at your swing on video, it's probably not as pretty as you think.

[newtogolf]

No style points in golf, so no matter how mechanically correct your swing is compared to your buddy he's still a better golfer.  Nothing wrong with that.  If your fundamentals are sound you just need to take some lessons, practice more and work on your scoring.  If what you say is true, if you work at it, you should eventually be able to beat him.

[chicagogolf]

first, with limited practice time, there are 3 clubs you should be practicing with...the driver, pitching wedge and putter. no one scores well hitting the ball OB or in the water off the tee. master one distance with the pitching wedge and that's your go to lay up spot on all par 5s. create a shot to go along with it, meaning you know in your head that you are either going to pull it or push it or cut off your finish. whatever it is...dial it in. from 115 to 130 yards, i always aim 5 yards right of the pin and pull it. works more times than not. master chipping and pitching with the pitching wedge as well.  and with the putter, alignment is critical...more so that with full swings. you can curve the ball and get away with improper alignment to a degree when hitting a driver, but with putting you need to be dead on. it took me 15 years but i finally realized i was always aimed too far to the left.

as far as fundamentals go...

they are not grip, stance, posture, whatever you've heard. a "good" grip doesn't work with a poor stance. these are variable elements of the set up. everything works in relation to one another. the most important thing is to make everything work to together so you can do 2 things: 1, consistently find the bottom of the swing arc and 2, hit the ball in a consistent direction. that's your goal. that's it. done. getting the bottom of your arc is easy--maintain your spine angle throughout the entire swing. if you have poor flexibility and you can only take it half way back, take it half way back. and for direction, all you can do is tinker until you find something. play with your grip and alignment and feet position.

[Jimdangles]

There is no perfect golf swing. There are things that build a swing to make it as consistant as possible and take out variables. Moving your head would be perfectly fine if you could ALWAYS bring it back to the place where you addressed the ball therefore just making sure not to move your had is just eliminating a variable.

[Snakey]

It really doesn't matter if your swing looks like a fiddler crab doing the Macarena , as long as it works.....low scores. There's no points for the latest fashion shirt ,latest and greatest clubs and no points for a "technically" correct swing....the only numbers that matter are on the card.

[onlybereaved]

Originally Posted by Shorty

I don't understand why you are upset.

Last time I checked, it was about scoring.

Your friend is a better player than you.

So what? You think that your swing looks better than his? Why should that count.

Enjoy the game.

BTW - his swing seems to be resulting in better scores, so, all the talk about "swing ability" is meaningless. His swing is enabling him to make better scores.

Saying to a poor scorer that they have "good mechanics" is like saying that an ugly girl has a "nice smile". People are trying to be nice.

Anyone who cares looks at your scores, not your swing.

This is on-point...Just delivered in a shorty-style matter of fact (and sort of mean) way.

I understand what you mean.  I golf regularly with a guy who has much worse 'golf form' than I do.  When he beats me (not often), I get down and think the same sort of things you are thinking.  But in the end, none of that stuff matters.  Grinding for a lower score is the goal, regardless of how graceful your form is or how pretty it looks etc.

Also, the people who are telling you that your swing looks better than your friends does...They may just mean that they could see you getting better than your friend if you both had lessons because your swing mechanics look more promising and easy to work with than his etc.  Doesn't just mean that they are trying to be nice because you're horrible, lol.