Yeah, the whole thing is in quotation marks, @NM Golf.
Of course, it's an off-topic irrelevant personal story, but that's a @Buckeyebowman trait if there ever was one. So maybe you skimmed it and misread it slightly because of that.
Swing-off tomorrow and it starts with these matches:
Niemann/Leishman vs Woods/Thomas
Im/Hadwin vs Cantlay/Schauffele
An/Scott vs Finau/DeChambeau
Pan/Matsuyama vs Reed/Simpson
Oosthuizen/Ancer vs Woodland/Johnson