Tantrums on Golf Course

[GolfGuy123]

I've been a member of 4 different country clubs. They all have had those same 70 yr old members that liked to be "etiquette Nazis", as you say. I can't remember a single time when I played with those folks that they ever had a problem with my etiquette...

You are implying that it happens to you all the time. If that's the case, I promise it's YOU, not them that needs to reevaluate your behavior...

With all due respect you don't know what you are talking about. First of all it does not happen to me all the time and I am not implying that. I am talking mainly about things I have witnessed. Have I experienced a bit of it, sure. But not nearly to the extent that I would ever consider needing to "reevaluate" my behavior. Really? Also, golf course etiquette is not rocket science. You have to be pretty brain dead if you need someone to remind you to fill a divot, fix a ball mark, keep the cart on path, not talk during partners swing. etc. etc.

I am so glad you have been a member of 4 different country clubs and never had a single time when anyone had a problem with your etiquette. Cool story bro.

[GolfGuy123]

I also will not be yelled at, by anybody.

That's good.

I don't slam clubs or do anything to damage a golf course or equipment. The most expression I ever show is a quiet "crap" after a bad shot.

Not sure I buy that but ok.

If it's that bad I simply wouldn't play there.

Not a bad idea to stop playing there and I have been thinking about it...but I do enjoy the course.

[Meltdwhiskey]

I always hate it when someone throws a tantrum on the course.  My first instinct is always to laugh at them for how ridiculous they look.  But I don't. Then it always seems to get really awkward and can damper the mood.

I've always been baffled by tantrums people throw in any sport.  It always looks like grown men acting like children to me.  You see on ESPN some baseball player who struck out and then him thrashing the dugout with a bat.  And no one seems to be condemning the behavior - not even the guys having to dodge the flying helments.  Somehow "competitive nature" trumps acting like a grown person.  It's just an excuse.  And a sorry one.

I've rarely seen someone go so far as to smash the club on the cart during their tantrum.  That is taking it pretty far.  Maybe a light smash on the ground behind the tee box could have sufficed.

[jmanbooyaa]

I threw a bit of a tantrum 2 seasons ago. I was in a 3 some and was putting while there was a single on the tee box. For whatever reason one of the guys in our group waived him up while I was putting. As I missed my putt and walked to finish I here the sound of a ball hitting he green. I turn around and the guy in my group says I waived him up. Well I launched right into a wtf are a moron with a few other explicitives. The guy felt bad and apologized to me. Sadly I never did. I have since played a few more rounds with this person and have never had a single incident with him. Was I wrong yeah probably. Was I upset yes. Would I do it again I really hope not. But I did once fling my 6 iron into my golf bag in disagreement with my swing. 1st and only time I did that. Paid for those clubs why would I want to damage them plus perspective here. I am PLAYING a game and am in my mid 30's.

[GolfGuy123]

I always hate it when someone throws a tantrum on the course.  My first instinct is always to laugh at them for how ridiculous they look.  But I don't. Then it always seems to get really awkward and can damper the mood. I've always been baffled by tantrums people throw in any sport.  It always looks like grown men acting like children to me.  You see on ESPN some baseball player who struck out and then him thrashing the dugout with a bat.  And no one seems to be condemning the behavior - not even the guys having to dodge the flying helments.  Somehow "competitive nature" trumps acting like a grown person.  It's just an excuse.  And a sorry one. I've rarely seen someone go so far as to smash the club on the cart during their tantrum.  That is taking it pretty far.  Maybe a light smash on the ground behind the tee box could have sufficed.

It was a mistake and I am not perfect, like everyone else. But to be clear I did not smash the golf cart. I hit my club (and not very aggressively ) against the tire of the cart. There is a huge difference between that and throwing or swinging a club at the cart itself. Regardless, I know it was wrong and it will never ever happen again. THAT I can guarantee. After reading the majority of these replies I realize I should never have posted this in the first place. I find it ironic that most are saying "your a moron" etc. INSTEAD of giving an example of the one or few times they did something on the course they regret (which I am sure everyone has) and then how they learned from it etc. It's hard to judge someone's character based on a few forum posts. Anyone who knows me knows how respectful and courteous I am 99.9 percent of the time. Many people would have done much worse and not even cared or thought about it after. Here we are a week later and I still feel bad about it.

[Maddog10]

Definitions and explanations aside, when a player begins acting childish on the course it puts the entire group in an awkward spot. I know some people struggle with it more than me, but I have to believe that everyone is capable of controlling their emotions. Throwing/breaking clubs, slamming the ground, etc is ridiculous to me. Let me follow that by saying that I, like everyone else, get frustrated from time to time and may mumble some words to myself or give a little one-handed club smack on the ground. I'm not perfect, but I'm an adult and conduct myself as one when on the course. When/if a player's behavior begins to affect the playing partners, it has gone too far. They are paying customers as well and have all the same rights as you, which includes a round free from unnecessary distractions.

OP, I don't think you're a moron at all. You are like 100% of other golfers out there that get frustrated with how they are playing sometimes, and like probably 50%(?) of golfers out there that have a hard time controlling that frustration. That doesn't make you a moron, but it does give you something to work on. I assure you that as you learn to control these emotions you will become a better golfer. Perhaps more importantly, you will become a better playing partner.

[GolfGuy123]

Definitions and explanations aside, when a player begins acting childish on the course it puts the entire group in an awkward spot. I know some people struggle with it more than me, but I have to believe that everyone is capable of controlling their emotions. Throwing/breaking clubs, slamming the ground, etc is ridiculous to me. Let me follow that by saying that I, like everyone else, get frustrated from time to time and may mumble some words to myself or give a little one-handed club smack on the ground. I'm not perfect, but I'm an adult and conduct myself as one when on the course. When/if a player's behavior begins to affect the playing partners, it has gone too far. They are paying customers as well and have all the same rights as you, which includes a round free from unnecessary distractions. OP, I don't think you're a moron at all. You are like 100% of other golfers out there that get frustrated with how they are playing sometimes, and like probably 50%(?) of golfers out there that have a hard time controlling that frustration. That doesn't make you a moron, but it does give you something to work on. I assure you that as you learn to control these emotions you will become a better golfer. Perhaps more importantly, you will become a better playing partner.

Noted and thanks for being rationale.

[krupa]

One time, I was playing alone and after the umpteenth bad shot I called myself a *

[GolfGuy123]

One time, I was playing alone and after the umpteenth bad shot I called myself a *

[rustyredcab]

IMO, golf is a game that requires you to control your frustration in order to play your best. So, learning to control your frustration will improve your game. You may not believe that because of your experience with more physically active and aggressive games like football. Golf is more like archery than football. A controlled heart rate, steady mind, and focus are more important than rushing adrenalin. We need what Moe Norman called, "an alert attitude of indifference." Care about every shot but then let it go.

And golf, as we play it, is a social sport. We often play in groups. The behavior of one can impact the mood of the group and does impact others enjoyment of the game/round. I find it less distracting if "that guy" is a stranger because I can just feel pity and laugh it off. But bad behavior and a even just a sour disposition makes a round less fun. Understand that your demonstrations of frustration impact those in your group.

The original post suggests need for change. If this seems like change you can not live with, I'd suggest you take a few years off. I quit the game all through high school and most of college because I did not like myself on the golf course. It was not about the state of my game, which was very bad, it was about the state of my attitude and my inability to control my temper. What worked well on the court and field did not work for me on the course.

Perhaps Dr Bob Rotella books could help you with your mental game. I like "Your 15th Club." and "Putting Out Of Your Mind."

[Maddog10]

You said it yourself, it's supposed to be fun. When the game gets frustrating to me, I think about the pros (outside of the top guys who have tons of endorsements and such) who's livelihoods and paychecks ride on each shot, yet they still maintain their composure during bad rounds. That makes my saturday morning round not seem quite as important, knowing that I can provide for my family all the same whether I shoot 70 or 100.

[GolfGuy123]

IMO, golf is a game that requires you to control your frustration in order to play your best. So, learning to control your frustration will improve your game. You may not believe that because of your experience with more physically active and aggressive games like football. Golf is more like archery than football. A controlled heart rate, steady mind, and focus are more important than rushing adrenalin. We need what Moe Norman called, "an alert attitude of indifference." Care about every shot but then let it go.  And golf, as we play it, is a social sport. We often play in groups. The behavior of one can impact the mood of the group and does impact others enjoyment of the game/round. I find it less distracting if "that guy" is a stranger because I can just feel pity and laugh it off. But bad behavior and a even just a sour disposition makes a round less fun. Understand that your demonstrations of frustration impact those in your group. The original post suggests need for change. If this seems like change you can not live with, I'd suggest you take a few years off. I quit the game all through high school and most of college because I did not like myself on the golf course. It was not about the state of my game, which was very bad, it was about the state of my attitude and my inability to control my temper. What worked well on the court and field did not work for me on the course.  Perhaps Dr Bob Rotella books could help you with your mental game. I like "Your 15th Club." and "Putting Out Of Your Mind."

I appreciate the book suggestions and will look into that. But no chance I am quitting or taking substantial time off. Showing no outward negative reactions will not be hard for me to do as 99% of the time I already succeed there. If anything my issue is more so the internal frustration which my playing partners would NEVER and do never notice because I keep it jolly on the outside OR I just get a bit quiet, which no reasonable person should have an issue with as some people are just naturally quiet anyway. Should someone stay off the course because they can not control REPETITIVE bad behavior? Yeah. Should someone give up the game for months or years because they need to work on internal frustration they might feel at times? IMO no.

[RonTheSavage]

I definitely would't call the OP moron or any other name as I have had to learn to control myself on the course also. Just remember your playing partners paid money to be out there also and nobody has the right to put a damper on the mood or make eachother feel uncomfortable while playing. If I hit a string of bad shots in a row or something I just use my old faithful line "Well I could be home washing dishes" Sounds lame but works 100% of the time.

[GolfGuy123]

If I hit a string of bad shots in a row or something I just use my old faithful line "Well I could be home washing dishes"

Lol, so true.

[GolfGuy123]

I think about the pros (outside of the top guys who have tons of endorsements and such) who's livelihoods and paychecks ride on each shot, yet they still maintain their composure during bad rounds.

Great point.

[RayG]

I've played with people like that. It isn't fun. No offense to the OP, but "that guy" ruins it for everyone else with the constant outbursts. Yes, you've paid your money to play golf and you can be entitled to your own particular idiom of how you play. But I paid for my round as well and I don't pay to be subjected to someones infantile rants over a bad shot. But I will give the "you're not that good to worry about it". I play with a "temperamental" guy who is prone to outbursts on occasion. One time I told him if he ever did something like that again, I was walking off and he would have a tough time getting me to join him again. I'd rather play solo. Well, he did- an outburst that involved LOUD cursing (language itself doesn't bother me) and trying to helicopter his club over the green we were on. Except he missed (story of his game, actually) and it flew barely a foot over my head and stuck into the green nearby. Fortunately, nobody was on it, but it took a divot. I walked over to the cart, grabbed my bag and started to walk back to the clubhouse. He looked at our other friend and started calling ME names for quitting. He just shrugged and told him I was right, and that HE was the problem today. Some more grumbling and cursing (I got this later from the other guy) as they moved to the next tee. I was further up the hole on my way back to the clubhouse, when I heard the cart kind of rolling up behind me. He seemed to have gotten the message and started the apology train, but I stood my ground and said that chances are we might not ever play again. I had told him before, if he did something like that I was outta there, but he didn't believe I would ever do it. Well, he doesn't go out and play by himself, he doesn't feel he's good enough and would be embarrassed. And if we don't play with him, he wouldn't play. That kind of sent the right message. Then he was a bit more sincere in the apology and I sort of let him off the hook. I asked him if he fixed the green he damaged. He said no.. Well, THAT sent me on a bit of a twist, and I let him have it for not fixing it. If someone from the course had been around, he would have been ejected and he better get back ASAP and fix it as best he can. If he cant fix it, he will tell the guy in the pro-shop what happened so they can take care of it. As he headed back, I called my friend and told him I'd wait at the 10th tee until they got there and we would take it one hole at a time, but don't let him know that. When he saw me waiting he was pretty relieved and embarrassed at the same time. Since then, he's had his little episodes but he is no where near the toddler he used to be. He KNOWS he's not good enough to be that angry, and even if he WAS that good, it isn't the right thing to do. "Those guys" affect my game and the others because you never know when an outburst will happen. If he hits a topper or chunks one and starts on his ranting and murmuring, it may not stop while I'm setting up my shot. He might turn away and not be paying attention to what I'm doing and blurt out something right as I'm ready to play. I've had a few "Tiger" stops at the top of the backswing when they'll get that one last "MOTHAF**KER!" out of their mouths. I will stand and wait til he turns around to ask if he's done yet so we can move on. As you say in the original post, you looked at your scorecard and said you were "on pace" to break 90. What made you look? Did you feel like you were playing well? Then that's all you should need. As mentioned in many of those "why do I blow up when I'm playing good" threads, it is the kiss of death. "Oh, I only need so and so to break whatever". And proceed to mini golf it around for the next few holes. If you feel you're playing well, then you probably are and don't total up till you're done. Make it a surprise. You can tell how you're doing usually after 6 or 7 holes. Go out with 6 straight doubles or worse and 90 probably isn't in the cards anyway, so don't worry about it. If you go out with 3-4 pars and a couple of bogeys, leave it alone. Keep that feeling going.

[Windmill]

My brother's son in law is a total jerk. I had only played with him once and it'll be the last. The dude has no personality or a sense of humor. The "F" bombs flew after after every frickin shot! And, most of those shots weren't half bad. His friend was an absolute blast to play with, but that will be the last round I'll ever play with that guy. I would have had more fun throwing the greens fees out the car window on the way in.

[rkim291968]

I never throw a tantrum ..., well, not anymore .

I think people need to understand that throwing a tantrum impacts their partners.   It can turn a fun outing into something crappy in a hurry, and most of us pay good money to play a round.   So, trantrumist, tantrumer, or trantrum dude is really ruining a good day for everyone.   My wife is the only golf partner I have and we get paired up a lot.   Once about 10 rounds, we will be paired up with less than ideal golfing partner who can't control their emotion  ( I think some of that may have to do with my wife's tendency to hit all the fairways.   It can drive her golfing partner nuts when they are OB'ng all over the place.  It drives me nuts for sure. )