Bad tempered playing partners

Fishinjdb · August 20, 2008

Hello all,

I love this game! It brings me more joy than any sport I have ever been involved in. I keep improving the more I play.

My question is this: I just started playing again this season (after a couple of years off - long story). I told my wife after my first round of the year that I will no longer play with people that get angry, bang clubs around, and just generally act like idiots. She asked what I would do if I had that kind of encounter halfway through a round. My reply was, if I couldn't get the person to stop, I would just walk off the course. I would rather start a new round than suffer through 4 hours of someone being an a-hole because they are not as good as they think they are.

What do you guys do when you play with someone who throws temper tantrums and ruins your good time on the course?

Thanks,
Bruce

**Stillhacken** · August 20, 2008

I would finish my round with them but not play with them again. Especially people who throw their clubs. After they cool down I might say something like "Remind me not to buy any clubs off you." They might get the hint.

**iWALK18** · August 20, 2008

I am one of those people, but never EVER around people I don't know. I am assuming you are talking about people you don't know whom you get paired up with and turn out to be crazy nut-cases like me?

You obviously know by now that there is no helping the situation. Even compliments when the player finally hit a good shot wont really brighten most crazed golfers' moods. My advice: Finish the round and stay as far away as possible. Don't talk, don't do anything.

**$2 Nassau** · August 20, 2008

Luckily I have aligned myself with playing partners that never act like that. We almost always have a foursome so there are no strangers in the mix.

I play with my bro-in-law sometimes at his club, a lot of the time just the two of us will go out. But since it's private, if you don't wish to be matched up, you don't have to.

So I've been lucky in that respect. But it has happened, and when it does I just try to ignore it and stay as far away from the person as possible.

I have to admit, looking back to when I first started playing, I was probably a bit of an ass. Never threw clubs, but got angry at myself out there was probably visibly pissed/frustrated. I've long since stopped that foolishness and my game is better because of it.

**erova** · August 20, 2008

i'll be the first to admit i can get increasingly frustrated on the course, particularly if a lot of factors swell up at once, like if i just missed a par putt, then walk to the tee box and see that the group ahead has an open green and take 10 minutes to duff 6 shots with 12 practice swings, and then i snaphook a lousy shot left because i've been stewing and stewing.

frankly if some random i had never played with told me to calm down and enjoy the day it probably wouldn't go over well in that particular situation. i find that when someone is really salty about their game that day, it's usually best to just stay away and let them calm themselves down. I know me and my buddies I regularly play with know when to bust each other's chops after terrible shots, but also when to back off and let them settle down on their own.

**pjsnyc** · August 20, 2008

i'll be the first to admit i can get increasingly frustrated on the course, particularly if a lot of factors swell up at once, like if i just missed a par putt, then walk to the tee box and see that the group ahead has an open green and take 10 minutes to duff 6 shots with 12 practice swings, and then i snaphook a lousy shot left because i've been stewing and stewing.

Same here...I got paired up with a younger guy this past weekend (he must've been about 17 or 18 years old). He had brand spankin new Mizuno MP-57s and seriously couldn't hit water if he was at the beach. I could have counted with one hand maybe the amount of shots that went straight. And sure enough he kept yelling, cursing, banging clubs (as I winced) into the trees, etc. On 17, he asked me if I had any spare balls! OY...

...in any case, I wasn't too upset - I just stayed quiet and let him calm himself down. After all, the more upset you get at the situation, the more your game suffers as well.

**erova** · August 20, 2008

hehe i wouldnt' say i'm THAT salty on a course, but sounds like you get the idea.

Schmitty · August 20, 2008

I can't stand it. When it's just me and my friends playing, we just mess around and have a good time. But when I used to play with my dad, he was horrible. He would be completely impossible to talk to pretty difficult to watch play. Since I've talked to him, it is much more enjoyable for the two of us to play a 9 on the weekend. Although it helped for me, the result would probably be much different if I had said something to someone I had just been paired up with.

**Eore** · August 20, 2008

i used to get really mad at myself (for you who don't know, i was a 28 a few months ago)

i would hit a bad drive, get really mad because i thought i should be hitting it in the middle of the fairway everytime. i'd mess up the next shot (usually a top) and then take my 8.

i found out that people really don't like playing with you if you aren't very good and you act like that on the course. i took it upon myself to be calmer. hit a bad shot, say "it happens", step up to the next shot. my handicap has gone down almost 10 shots and i'm happier playing.

i can now turn that poor drive into a par or bogey because i forget what a bad swing i made the shot before

**Stillhacken** · August 20, 2008

After reading some of the responses I see Im in a different situation. I never get paired up or stuck playing with people I dont know. I can see where getting stuck with people you dont know would suck but it could possibly lead to new playing partners. If they are acting that bad I would make an excuse and leave and restart my round. I paid to play and enjoy myself...not to spend my day with an idiot throwing his clubs around.

Fishinjdb · August 20, 2008

Most of the time, when I play with guys that I do not know - it is an enjoyable experience. I am really talking about people that you do know, the ones that when you run into, they ask to play sometime or they see you getting ready to tee off and want to join you. It is the guys you know fairly well and can not believe they act like that, but you do not know them well enough to say "Hey man - knock it off".

And if it happens once, is it going to happen everytime? I don't think so, so at what point do you say, I would rather not play with you untill you get that stinking temper under control.

**Billiam** · August 20, 2008

What do you guys do when you play with someone who throws temper tantrums and ruins your good time on the course?

I can't kick myself off of the golf course... so I dunno what I do, I'm the only one I know that is an idiot on the golf course

**firstcut** · August 20, 2008

Since I suck at golf I always take a round as an opportunity to enjoy a day outside and meet new people. I think anyone who's going to play the game should appreciate it for more than dropping a ball in the hole. Once in a while I get stuck with one of these clowns (sorry clowns) who are too busy beating themselves up (and verbally annoying others) to enjoy and appreciate what's around them.

If it's not too annoying, I stay quiet and get a chuckle out of it. If the guy is a real jackass I may wind him a up a bit on purpose. If he's going to spoil my game with his bullshit I may as well get something out of it. I'm not sure what's broken in me, but I just can't help it.

Fishinjdb · August 21, 2008

Mike, I like the way you think.

Everybody else, thanks for the replys. I think staying away from those people is a good idea.

jr05 · August 21, 2008

The people I play with do not act like that.
I have been set up with a couple people like that when I have gone to a course alone and they were not letting singles out alone. But I just ignore them for the most part and play my own game.

I do however have one friend that gets very frustrated when he makes bad shots (often) and will bang clubs, throw balls, and such. I find it works best, once he gets aggravated, to sort of say...."wow that was a crappy shot" and see if I can get him to throw something in the water. It makes it more enjoyable than just dealing with it, and something funny might happen (funny for me).

Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't call him a friend since I would feel guilty doing this to friends....

**traviswise** · August 21, 2008

I can't stand for people to loose their composure. It's crazy. Everyone has bad days, just deal.

***iacas*** · August 21, 2008

Had a guy pull a bunch of shit today, and he got so self-centered in his yelling at himself and swearing that he totally lost track of what everyone else was doing, so he'd walk in front of you while you're hitting, let off the cart brake in the middle of your swing, that sort of stuff.

**Dent** · August 21, 2008

I used to be like this, and it was bad. I used to always throw clubs and slam them into the ground as hard as I could. I still get angry but don't show it besides a few words to myself. but I don't throw a fit, and I don't throw clubs either.

I remember I once hucked my 5 wood 50 yards down the fairway. I never really throw clubs anymore..

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