Golfers get a bad rap for being uptight rule mongers (but they shouldn't)

As a relatively new golfer, I have to admit I was a little nervous about going out to the course on my own with strangers since my friends can't keep up with my newfound golf addiction.

I don't really keep score as I am way too inconsistent with my ball striking. But I thought that because sometimes I take 3 or 4 drops per round among friends (from OB, lost in native grass, or lies behind trees that might cause me to ricochet a ball off my dome), I would be chastised among those in my group.

But I've found that if I tell my group that I won't be keeping score or will be treating this as practice, no one really seems to be outwardly hostile.

Has anyone discovered the same? That golfers are much more understanding to novices than popular opinion or sometimes this board would have you believe?

Again, I'll interject my own thoughts. If the day ever comes where I am anything better than mediocre, I don't think I would be harsh to a beginner or make him abide to every single ball. To me, this is analogous to calling 3-seconds during a pickup game with someone new to basketball. Sometimes, fun takes precedence over playing the game exactly by the book.

I do plan eventually (within a few months) on playing every single ball where it lies but I find that the game in its current form is challenging enough for me. Thoughts?

Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone's sensibilities, so I am sorry in advance if I did--I know this is a very hardcore and passionate community, especially re: rules and playing balls. But I just wanted to share because sometimes I think no one speaks up for the beginner and it can be intimidating getting started with something that has such a high learning curve.

As long as you're not playing them in competition or for money I don't see why anyone would care as long as you're keeping up.

I play mostly with my fiance, she just started playing this year and I'm very impressed with her progress! But to keep the game fun for her and prevent her from not wanting to play, I encourage her to take any liberty she wants! Trouble topping fairway shots? Tee it up. Behind a tree? Deep rough? Foot wedge time! Other friends I play with are also beginners and if they want to do anything to make the game more enjoyable for them, I encourage it! Once you get serious about the game, that all changes, but when you're learning..... fun is way more important than a "legitimate" score! It doesn't bother me at all when my fiance beats me on a hole after 3 tee shots, a foot wedge and a 4 foot gimme!

This ^^^ is really how it all works as far as I'm concerned.  When I'm playing for fun I'm still pretty strict with the rules but I do it FOR ME not anyone else.  My buddies, I figure can govern themselves as they wish.  Now...Skins time or tourney time...it ALL changes....but fun time I couldn't care less if you want to score, pick up, drop etc...just enjoy yourself.  My best friend scores almost exactly the same as me when ever we play for fun, but states "when its for money you always out play me"....my answer is always the same "nah look at my score, you just play worse when its for money" ;)

We're really not hardcore in non-competition situations as you can see from the responses. Also, this is kind of secondary golf etiquette - if you are going to take a mulligan off of a tee, let everyone else tee off, then announce that you would like to hit another if they don't mind.

Warning: Just don't claim that you are a 6 hcp while taking these liberties - that WILL draw the ire of this community!

This. I tell my friends not to keep score, take good lies, and play to have fun. I did this with an uncle who is only a year older than I am. He is progressing very well, I keep score when we play together, he doesn't. When his ball striking is better and he can string together a decent round, ill start working with him on playing all lies, learning the rules.

But the key is to let them know the rules, and stress that it is to help them understand the rules, not to get them to play by them. Its good to let them play in good lies and focus on ball striking, but they do need to understand the rules and proper course etiquette.

Most golfers want others to know the pain and agony of playing golf so we try to take it easy on them when they take up the sport.  Seriously I've never met anyone that got angry or belittled a new golfer that was doing his best to maintain pace of play.  When I first started playing I'd pick up and drop on the fairway all the time to get familiar with different shots that weren't deep in the woods.

If you're not playing in a tournament or for money I doubt anyone will ever say anything to you about a foot wedge or pickup and drop other than possibly offer some unsolicited swing advice.

If it's a practice round, not for money, who cares?

Totally agree, bottom line, golf should be enjoyed.  The guys I golf with have "local rules" among us, if we have a ball on a rock or in a place that might damage a club, we get a free drop.  We play by the rules as much as possible, but there are times when the rules don't fit the situation, a crowded public course and you can't find your ball.  We're not going back to the tee and hit another one, we drop a ball and move on.

I follow the rules when it comes to attire, repairing divots etc etc.  I want to treat the golf course and the facilities with the utmost respect.  Neither myself nor my friends are scratch golfers.  So if my buddy hits his ball onto the cart path or in mud, for God's sake take it out and place it where you can get a decent shot....I'm not a stickler at all for that stuff.

i played sunday with a couple of seasoned golfers at their country club (high eyebrow place) myself i am a hack, but i play ready golf, chase the ball around but dont sit there and study every freakin shot. get out there and get closer to the pin. the two gentelmen are ceo of big construction companies. they was a blast they could care less as long i was able to keep up. (mind you that this was my second round of the day played early in the morning) so i was a little tight. my point is play but dont sit there like you know everything and study every shot. its a fun game dont make it any worse than it is,

I played with a guy once who played by "Willie Rules ";  IE: "put the ball where it would have gone if the tree or pond wasn't there".

Even with those rules forgiving every errant shot he made he still scored well over 100.

The way I see it, making your own rules for the round won't help improve your game...practicing on the range will though.

When you get out on the course, despite the game you play between your friends, it's you against the course.  Why would you want to cheat yourself out of that opportunity to find out how well you can really do?    Otherwise the round really doesn't mean much.  A bucket of balls on the practice range is $8 bucks or so. That's money well spent compared to paying a green fee and cart fee just to practice.

I dont get much from the range, the reason its not the course, now if i want to try and improve my swing yes but myself i tried it, but still my "practice" is going on the course and hitting from where it lies either in a divot on the fairway, behind trees (i like playing in the shade in s texas) or in some garbage that you look at and say WTF should i do.

Most players will not try to impose their own rules policies on others, especially on strangers.  I do play golf by the rules, 99.9% of the time.  I am always willing to help a new golfer with the rules if he shows an interest, but I don't expect every casual golfer to play like I do.  Most of those busybody players who do try to tell others how they should play, don't actually know the rules very well themselves.  They are more likely to give incorrect or misleading information.  There are a lot of rules fallacies which are perpetuated by these types.  When and if you do decide to try playing by the rules, get your information from an informed source.

The rules are what maintain the integrity of the game and since there is no umpire or referee out on the course, its up to players and their playing partners to uphold the rules of the game.  Some people do take it pretty seriously but honestly, unless you are playing in a tournament Ive never met anyone who was all that much of a stickler.

For the most part i play by the rules. only to challenge myself.if i dont ill never know how good or bad i really am. and playing a bad shot only makes you better at those type of shots i would think. Again, a freebie now and again in practice isnt a bad thing

I'm getting pretty good at the "recovery" shot. Lord knows I have enough practice opportunities! I once heard an interview with Tiger and they asked him how he got so good at his miracle recovery shots. He said he spent alot of time in the woods too!