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Funny Golf Stories (Attack of the Mice!!!)

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

OK, I hadn’t played in a while… like a couple months… my old man and I went down to the shed and found our golf clubs. My dad pulled a heap of straw out of the top of his bag (which at the time we thought was a bit strange but didn’t think too much of). We loaded the clubs in the ute, drove to the course and played a round of 18 holes walking.

 

We got back to the clubhouse, sat our clubs down and then sat down for a beer. Within 2 minutes a mouse climbed out of the top of my dad’s golf bag and ran to a nearby golf cart. Another two mice followed shortly after… the three mice then came back to the golf bag and continued towards the clubhouse. Before we could get out of there the three mice had ran into the clubhouse and another two followed. The five mice were now running a muck inside the clubhouse with a lady trying to shoo them out!!!

 

Without further adieu… we were outta there! We got back to the ute and managed to get another couple mice out of the bag and then pulled a nest of straw out of the bottom.

 

We don’t store our clubs in the shed anymore haha

 

Posts your funny golf stories so we can all have a laugh.

post #2 of 13

That's funny.   Thanks for sharing.

post #3 of 13

Your story was amusing on the first read, but after I read it a few more times I found some problems with the so-called "event".

 

1.  Who lives in a shed and still plays golf.  Seems like you would being spending more time trying to get out of the shed.  So "no-go" there.

 

2.  Mice live in houses.  If they are outside or in a shed they are called rats.  But since that was your house I am not shure what they are called.

 

But I WAS entertained by your story and I plan on sharing it as one of my own the next time I go to the mall as long as I have your permission.

post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

Your story was amusing on the first read, but after I read it a few more times I found some problems with the so-called "event".

 

1.  Who lives in a shed and still plays golf.  Seems like you would being spending more time trying to get out of the shed.  So "no-go" there.

 

2.  Mice live in houses.  If they are outside or in a shed they are called rats.  But since that was your house I am not shure what they are called.

 

But I WAS entertained by your story and I plan on sharing it as one of my own the next time I go to the mall as long as I have your permission.

 

haha Gilberg, please feel free to use that one and I can assure you it's true. I do live in a house with 1/3 of an acre. We have chooks down the back and two small sheds with like tools, tables and chairs and other random stuff in them (which at the time we had stashed the golf bags in). I'm guessing since the sheds are next to the chooks pen the mice/rats come from there. I said mice because they weren't that big but I guess they could have been babies or something.

 

But anyways just thought some people might get a laugh at it, hope you enjoyed it :-)

post #5 of 13

Here's a sugestion, Place Dryer Sheets in the bottom of your golf bags. The stinky scented kind. Mice can't stand the smell and will leave your stuff alone. Our bags spend the winter in the loft over our barn/ Garage. and I've never had a problem. I place sheets in all sorts of stuff I don't want "violated". And we live in a heavily wooded area. And no, your bags won't reek.

post #6 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilberg View Post

Your story was amusing on the first read, but after I read it a few more times I found some problems with the so-called "event".

 

1.  Who lives in a shed and still plays golf.  Seems like you would being spending more time trying to get out of the shed.  So "no-go" there.

 

2.  Mice live in houses.  If they are outside or in a shed they are called rats.  But since that was your house I am not shure what they are called.

 

But I WAS entertained by your story and I plan on sharing it as one of my own the next time I go to the mall as long as I have your permission.

 

Can't decide if this is serious or not, but if it is, I am saddened. So anyway:

 

1. He lives in a house spanky! The shed is a storage shed.

 

2. Where do you get this from? So, mice that live outside are called rats??? I...don't even know where to begin.....We have two storage sheds, and evey week I pull 4 or 5 dead MICE from the traps I set (although I'm going to try that dryer sheet trick now, thanks HM)

post #7 of 13

Great story about the mice.  For the record, I see mice living outdoors also, and though I've never had one, I know rats (much larger cousins of mice) can and do also live in houses.

 

This is not my story, but one that my father told.  Back in probably the 1950's they didn't have the nice injection molded Port-O-Potties that we know these days, but instead at construction sites would set up a crude outhouse formed with corrugated metal sheeting bent around until the two ends met and open at the top. ( Not sure if there was even a door or if you just sort of pulled the ends to.)  Anyway, there was one of these set up in an obviously inopportune spot along the fairway and according to my dad, when he hooked a drive into the top of the thing you could hear the ball "spinning" around inside sounding like a machine-gun and sending a very indisposed construction worker diving out for his life.  It would have been pure gold on YouTube.

 

My own story involves my brother-in-law who was down for a visit some years ago during one of my many periods of not actively playing.  Somehow it was agreed that he and I would play, and I approached the whole thing with as positive an attitude as possible recognizing that he was a pretty good player and I was a hacker that hadn't played in several years.  We got to the first tee and I won the coin toss to hit first, and knowing my own weaknesses decided to cut my losses and just hit a three iron.  After a practice swing or two (no driving range...) I took my shot.  Call it muscle memory if you like, I call it dumb luck, but I hit it really pure and walked off the tee feeling pretty good about myself.  

 

My poor brother-in-law, who no doubt had every reasonable expectation of trouncing me that day, then walked to the tee with his driver in hand and a steely determination to out drive that three iron shot chiseled on his face.  When his knuckles turned white on the grip I thought he might be in trouble.   He took a full and majestic back-swing prior to shanking the ball into the cart shed, the door of which was obviously badly situated.  I can tell you for sure that the ball ricocheted around in there for a good 15-20 seconds and attracted a good bit of attention.

 

Needless to say, in the end I got the trouncing that was due me for laying off the game, but it wasn't until about the sixth hole that the poor guy started to settle down and play the game he was capable of.

 

Jim

post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by haidenbaker View Post

 

haha Gilberg, please feel free to use that one and I can assure you it's true. I do live in a house with 1/3 of an acre. We have chooks down the back and two small sheds with like tools, tables and chairs and other random stuff in them (which at the time we had stashed the golf bags in). I'm guessing since the sheds are next to the chooks pen the mice/rats come from there. I said mice because they weren't that big but I guess they could have been babies or something.

 

But anyways just thought some people might get a laugh at it, hope you enjoyed it :-)

For those of us who don't live in the country, what is a "chook"?

post #9 of 13
 
 
 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by haidenbaker View Post

OK, I hadn’t played in a while… like a couple months… my old man and I went down to the shed and found our golf clubs. My dad pulled a heap of straw out of the top of his bag (which at the time we thought was a bit strange but didn’t think too much of). We loaded the clubs in the ute, drove to the course and played a round of 18 holes walking.

 

We got back to the clubhouse, sat our clubs down and then sat down for a beer. Within 2 minutes a mouse climbed out of the top of my dad’s golf bag and ran to a nearby golf cart. Another two mice followed shortly after… the three mice then came back to the golf bag and continued towards the clubhouse. Before we could get out of there the three mice had ran into the clubhouse and another two followed. The five mice were now running a muck inside the clubhouse with a lady trying to shoo them out!!!

 

Without further adieu… we were outta there! We got back to the ute and managed to get another couple mice out of the bag and then pulled a nest of straw out of the bottom.

 

We don’t store our clubs in the shed anymore haha

 

Posts your funny golf stories so we can all have a laugh.


The real problem here is that you do not play enough golf. They should have never been able to had the time to build the nest in the first place.

 
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by cooke119 View Post

For those of us who don't live in the country, what is a "chook"?

It's a redneck chicken.

post #11 of 13

My story starts when my uncle and I went out to play a round and were teamed with a husband and wife. Now to say this lady was built is an understatement, she was extremely "healthy". Her problem was that everytime she addressed the ball her breasts would be squished between her arms. Being "gentlemen" my uncle and I would try not to pay any attention but she was having trouble. She would swing the club and her breast would be flopping back and forth. After 13 holes she told her husband she didn't want to play anymore. Her husband, not being very understanding, starts bugging her to tee off at which point she turns to him and lets him know in no uncertain term that she could play because "MY TITS HURT!!" at which point my uncle and I lost it. Poor girl, I don't think she plays golf anymore.

post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cooke119 View Post

For those of us who don't live in the country, what is a "chook"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernest Jones View Post

It's a redneck chicken.

Haha Ernest Jones is spot on!

HazardMagnet although i appreciated the advice I think I might stick with Valleygolfer's advice and just play more lol.

Great stories guys, definitely gave me a good laugh... especially the Big Breasted Story, thanks cooke119
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valleygolfer View Post

 
 
 

 


The real problem here is that you do not play enough golf. They should have never been able to had the time to build the nest in the first place.

 

Perhaps the OP is a distant cousin of Bruce Lietzke.  For those of you who don't know the story, google "Lietzke banana."

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