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Slightly Addicted- What is the real reason?

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 

Okay so I posted on here back in August. Season wrapped up, I knew I couldn't play as I am in St. Louis and now season is starting to kick in. Just won the last two two-man's and getting too much of the golf-bug for my amateur season to start in May. I've played collectively 3 individual rounds(5 if you want to include the scrambles) with one range session and am 7 over par for the year. I am at work and can't stop thinking about golf or looking for tourney's in April I can go play in.. which brings me to my point- why are people really addicted?

 

I know why I am addicted; A) I have an addictive personality and B) I legitimately think I could do well on a mini-tour or above someday(4 years from now). 

 

The "turning pro" I feel is what drives me so much- I try and get as good as possible and I want to win every tournament I play in this year. Last year I was getting my tourney experience up but I really think I have a shot at winning something this year.

 

So why are you addicted? What makes the 15 handicapper addicted? I wish I could just play golf once a month with buddies and drink. I take it way too serious and NEVER drink when I am playing so I can shoot a good score. If you have read my original post I ever made, I have only played 5.5 years, played in college after my first year, and threw up a 72, 73, 73 in amateur championship tournaments last year. SO I feel like out of all of the players who have been playing for 5 years, I have advanced fairly quickly. 

 

My name is Also Dan, and I am fully aware of "The Dan Plan" and while I am rooting him, he has played as much golf in 4 years as I have played in 5 and I feel I am well beyond where he sits today. I don't know.. I needed to get this off my chest I guess. I sit at work thinking about golf, I add up stats at night, I look at past tournaments to see what winning scores were, I watch golf all day long, my wife hates golf now. We have two kids and I am only 26 years old and sometimes it creates friction but I can't stop playing. I feel like I have worked too hard for that.. Also I feel like all of my work is done on time (I do recruiting) but feel guilty about looking at golf sites. Some nights I get home from the range and feel like I should have just went home to hang with the family. I just want to know if anyone has some advice on how balance golf and life. Also- if people want to rip on me for wanting to make it pro, I am all for it. I have 32 competitive rounds schedule including the US Open Local qualifier this year so any hate will help motivate.  I don't think anyone in the world loves golf as much as me. I have never found anyone who wants to travel around and play in amateur events and practice as much as me. I need a 12 step program.

post #2 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by GHIN0011458 View Post
 

Okay so I posted on here back in August. Season wrapped up, I knew I couldn't play as I am in St. Louis and now season is starting to kick in. Just won the last two two-man's and getting too much of the golf-bug for my amateur season to start in May. I've played collectively 3 individual rounds(5 if you want to include the scrambles) with one range session and am 7 over par for the year. I am at work and can't stop thinking about golf or looking for tourney's in April I can go play in.. which brings me to my point- why are people really addicted?

 

I know why I am addicted; A) I have an addictive personality and B) I legitimately think I could do well on a mini-tour or above someday(4 years from now). 

 

The "turning pro" I feel is what drives me so much- I try and get as good as possible and I want to win every tournament I play in this year. Last year I was getting my tourney experience up but I really think I have a shot at winning something this year.

 

So why are you addicted? What makes the 15 handicapper addicted? I wish I could just play golf once a month with buddies and drink. I take it way too serious and NEVER drink when I am playing so I can shoot a good score. If you have read my original post I ever made, I have only played 5.5 years, played in college after my first year, and threw up a 72, 73, 73 in amateur championship tournaments last year. SO I feel like out of all of the players who have been playing for 5 years, I have advanced fairly quickly. 

 

My name is Also Dan, and I am fully aware of "The Dan Plan" and while I am rooting him, he has played as much golf in 4 years as I have played in 5 and I feel I am well beyond where he sits today. I don't know.. I needed to get this off my chest I guess. I sit at work thinking about golf, I add up stats at night, I look at past tournaments to see what winning scores were, I watch golf all day long, my wife hates golf now. We have two kids and I am only 26 years old and sometimes it creates friction but I can't stop playing. I feel like I have worked too hard for that.. Also I feel like all of my work is done on time (I do recruiting) but feel guilty about looking at golf sites. Some nights I get home from the range and feel like I should have just went home to hang with the family. I just want to know if anyone has some advice on how balance golf and life. Also- if people want to rip on me for wanting to make it pro, I am all for it. I have 32 competitive rounds schedule including the US Open Local qualifier this year so any hate will help motivate.  I don't think anyone in the world loves golf as much as me. I have never found anyone who wants to travel around and play in amateur events and practice as much as me. I need a 12 step program.


I think many of us here as addicted or more.  Most of us are just not as successful as you, though. ;)

 

To give you an example.  Two weeks ago, I got on the plane to Houston on Saturday night because it was the only place close enough and warm enough to IL where I could play.  Got up at 5 am on Sunday, played 2 rounds (almost, didn't finish the second 18).  Next I proceeded to miss my flight, stayed a night at a motel.  Got up at 5am again, made the first flight out, got to work at 10am. 

 

You do need to be careful with your family, though.  Not the main reason, but me playing golf contributed to me getting divorced.

 

Good luck in all of the tournaments!

post #3 of 21

Well, as far as addiction goes, I know I constantly strive to do better, which is why I love it so much (Perfection is impossible) I enjoy it because it is so hard. I don't drink when I'm playing either, and I take the game very seriously.

 

And as far as playing competively, I'm no where near being able to do that. But good luck to you in your endeavors, especially the US Open local qualifier. If I ever get there, I'm gonna try it as well. 

 

You can also look into the Golf Channel AM Tour if your looking to play more competitive golf.

post #4 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerald Fritz View Post
 

Well, as far as addiction goes, I know I constantly strive to do better, which is why I love it so much (Perfection is impossible) I enjoy it because it is so hard. I don't drink when I'm playing either, and I take the game very seriously.

 

And as far as playing competively, I'm no where near being able to do that. But good luck to you in your endeavors, especially the US Open local qualifier. If I ever get there, I'm gonna try it as well. 

 

You can also look into the Golf Channel AM Tour if your looking to play more competitive golf.

I looked into that- it is SO much money for what it is. We have a Metropolitan Association around here that holds some pretty competitive tournaments and USGA qualifiers so I try and do all of those. From there I have searched EVERY course that is within 3 hours driving distance for open club championships and 2 day amateur events so I will be playing in about 7 of those this year. They are $80 entry fees for 2 rounds of golf vs the membership and entry fee for the AM Tour. Also- only about 15-20 guys get into those one day events that are mostly held on the weekends. These get 80-144 and are typically on weekends so it makes more sense. I know that turning pro at some level is the reason why I do this. The way I look at it is that I am 26 and even if I fail to do so, which many will say "told ya", at least I tried vs the opposite of giving up and then wondering where I could have gone. 

post #5 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sopel10 View Post
 


I think many of us here as addicted or more.  Most of us are just not as successful as you, though. ;)

 

To give you an example.  Two weeks ago, I got on the plane to Houston on Saturday night because it was the only place close enough and warm enough to IL where I could play.  Got up at 5 am on Sunday, played 2 rounds (almost, didn't finish the second 18).  Next I proceeded to miss my flight, stayed a night at a motel.  Got up at 5am again, made the first flight out, got to work at 10am. 

 

You do need to be careful with your family, though.  Not the main reason, but me playing golf contributed to me getting divorced.

 

Good luck in all of the tournaments!

That's sweet to fly out for a day or so lol. Weather is starting to get better though so hopefully you can start playing near home. 

post #6 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by GHIN0011458 View Post
 

I looked into that- it is SO much money for what it is. We have a Metropolitan Association around here that holds some pretty competitive tournaments and USGA qualifiers so I try and do all of those. From there I have searched EVERY course that is within 3 hours driving distance for open club championships and 2 day amateur events so I will be playing in about 7 of those this year. They are $80 entry fees for 2 rounds of golf vs the membership and entry fee for the AM Tour. Also- only about 15-20 guys get into those one day events that are mostly held on the weekends. These get 80-144 and are typically on weekends so it makes more sense. I know that turning pro at some level is the reason why I do this. The way I look at it is that I am 26 and even if I fail to do so, which many will say "told ya", at least I tried vs the opposite of giving up and then wondering where I could have gone. 

Thats awesome. If I get myself to a point where I can play competitively, I would love to be able to do some amateur events or qualifiers. Was very pleased with my first range session of the year the other day. Still can't hit my driver very well, but it was going straight, but not happy with the yardage (Was hitting it further with my 3 wood by about 50 yards). But my iron play and short game looked pretty decent for not having played in a few months.

post #7 of 21

You made some choices earlier in life to marry and have kids.  They should come first, not golf.  If you can honestly tell yourself that they are getting their fair share of Dan's time and are not being asked to make sacrifices to support your addiction, then go for it.  Otherwise it is time to re-focus on your family and pursue golf as very much a secondary activity.

post #8 of 21

It helps if your SO is also addicted to golf.   Between two of us, we get nothing done on weekends.   Better addicted to golf than on other things (drugs, gambling, and other vices). 

post #9 of 21

I think most people on this site would probably say they were golf addicts to some degree.

 

I know i certainly am but why? I think like the OP said of himself, i too have an addictive personality. It's quite common for me to become completely engrossed in one thing for a week or two and then overnight I'll have lost interest. But in that fortnight or so I'll have learnt and read enough information on a topic to be half way to expert knowledge. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to such behavior but it keeps me happy, I'm a numbers geek kinda guy so for example a once went through a stage of wanting to know everything there was about cameras purely as i was looking at buying a cheap point and shoot thing for my sister.

 

I think though i can honestly say that golf is the one thing I've never really lost interest in. I had a year or so when i would say i was no longer fanatical but other than that I've been addicted to golf for seven years.  I follow the tours, keep update with equipment releases, learn as much as possible about the golf swing and most recently started to learn the entirety of the rules of golf word for word. Also I've come to the realization that in the past 3 years may golf has not improved one bit so I've signed up for evolvr and I'm committed to playing better golf by 2015.

 

Anyhow, being addicted to golf is great. Unless you have things that stand in the way of our golf. 

post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by FooFader View Post
 

I think most people on this site would probably say they were golf addicts to some degree.

 

I know i certainly am but why? I think like the OP said of himself, i too have an addictive personality. It's quite common for me to become completely engrossed in one thing for a week or two and then overnight I'll have lost interest. But in that fortnight or so I'll have learnt and read enough information on a topic to be half way to expert knowledge. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to such behavior but it keeps me happy, I'm a numbers geek kinda guy so for example a once went through a stage of wanting to know everything there was about cameras purely as i was looking at buying a cheap point and shoot thing for my sister.

 

I think though i can honestly say that golf is the one thing I've never really lost interest in. I had a year or so when i would say i was no longer fanatical but other than that I've been addicted to golf for seven years.  I follow the tours, keep update with equipment releases, learn as much as possible about the golf swing and most recently started to learn the entirety of the rules of golf word for word. Also I've come to the realization that in the past 3 years may golf has not improved one bit so I've signed up for evolvr and I'm committed to playing better golf by 2015.

 

Anyhow, being addicted to golf is great. Unless you have things that stand in the way of our golf.

I'm the same way, I love to learn new things and get very engrossed in becoming knowledgeable about them.  I think I'd consider myself a fanatic and not an addict only because I won't sacrifice family time or earning an income for golf.  I think the OP needs to make sure he keeps his priorities in order or he could cause his wife, kids or boss to become resentful of golf and that would work against his goals.  Happy wife, happy life.  :beer:

post #11 of 21

I would say I'm a halfway recovered addict.

 

For 6 or 7 years if it was daylight, and I wasn't at work, I was at the course. I would play from daylight to dark whether anybody else ever showed up at the course or not. If my son was home from college he was always with me and my wife would usually come down for at least a round. I also had a net and lights in the barn and it wasn't unusual for me to still be hitting balls at midnight. Hard to even estimate how many golf balls I was hitting every day.

 

Somewhere along the line I lost any urge to play golf by myself and changed courses where most of my friends only play once a week on Saturday (so that's what I did also). When I started working at the course my boss usually wants to play a round after work at least once a week so now that and the Saturday game is about all I do, except 1000's of swings and drills in the house at night and a couple hundred short irons in the yard if the weather is halfway decent.

post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtogolf View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by FooFader View Post

 
I think most people on this site would probably say they were golf addicts to some degree.

I know i certainly am but why? I think like the OP said of himself, i too have an addictive personality. It's quite common for me to become completely engrossed in one thing for a week or two and then overnight I'll have lost interest. But in that fortnight or so I'll have learnt and read enough information on a topic to be half way to expert knowledge. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to such behavior but it keeps me happy, I'm a numbers geek kinda guy so for example a once went through a stage of wanting to know everything there was about cameras purely as i was looking at buying a cheap point and shoot thing for my sister.

I think though i can honestly say that golf is the one thing I've never really lost interest in. I had a year or so when i would say i was no longer fanatical but other than that I've been addicted to golf for seven years.  I follow the tours, keep update with equipment releases, learn as much as possible about the golf swing and most recently started to learn the entirety of the rules of golf word for word. Also I've come to the realization that in the past 3 years may golf has not improved one bit so I've signed up for evolvr and I'm committed to playing better golf by 2015.

Anyhow, being addicted to golf is great. Unless you have things that stand in the way of our golf.
I'm the same way, I love to learn new things and get very engrossed in becoming knowledgeable about them.  I think I'd consider myself a fanatic and not an addict only because I won't sacrifice family time or earning an income for golf.  I think the OP needs to make sure he keeps his priorities in order or he could cause his wife, kids or boss to become resentful of golf and that would work against his goals.  Happy wife, happy life.  c2_beer.gif

I will do the same. All depends, sometimes I get bored with the "addiction" quickly. Sometimes it had stayed with me. I don't see myself getting bored and giving up golf or hunting anytime soon.
post #13 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by GHIN0011458 View Post

. . .

 

My name is Also Dan, and I am fully aware of "The Dan Plan" and while I am rooting him, he has played as much golf in 4 years as I have played in 5 and I feel I am well beyond where he sits today. I don't know.. I needed to get this off my chest I guess. I sit at work thinking about golf, I add up stats at night, I look at past tournaments to see what winning scores were, I watch golf all day long, my wife hates golf now. We have two kids and I am only 26 years old and sometimes it creates friction but I can't stop playing. I feel like I have worked too hard for that.. Also I feel like all of my work is done on time (I do recruiting) but feel guilty about looking at golf sites. Some nights I get home from the range and feel like I should have just went home to hang with the family. I just want to know if anyone has some advice on how balance golf and life. Also- if people want to rip on me for wanting to make it pro, I am all for it. I have 32 competitive rounds schedule including the US Open Local qualifier this year so any hate will help motivate.  I don't think anyone in the world loves golf as much as me. I have never found anyone who wants to travel around and play in amateur events and practice as much as me. I need a 12 step program.

 

First of all you have talent, and Dan is self professed without.

 

The only thing I would change is that you should probably spend enough time with your wife and kids. Family is something we are fortunate to have, not something we can take for granted.

post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lihu View Post
 

 

First of all you have talent, and Dan is self professed without.

 

The only thing I would change is that you should probably spend enough time with your wife and kids. Family is something we are fortunate to have, not something we can take for granted.

 

I too would suggest keeping your kids in mind. At your young age, time may seem to go slow, but Trust me, before you know it, your kids will in their teens, then off to collage and you'll look back on what you did, or didn't do, and possibly regret it. I don't mean to sound like a know it all, but you made the decision to get married, and have those 2 kids, you have a responsibility to them and your wife. I would suggest to try and make some quality time for them as well as your golf.

 

Been in your situation, only I surfed for a living, sort of, I cut way back when my Son was old enough to surf, so we spent nearly every weekend surfing, unless I was in Mexico, or the Islands. Your kids are pretty important, at least consider it.

post #15 of 21

If I was a psychologist I would say boredom with your job and family life. 26 is pretty young to have to kids and be married. It's easy to see how you might be feeling like you have missed out on your best years and are using golf as a distraction tactic.

post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkuehn1952 View Post
 

You made some choices earlier in life to marry and have kids.  They should come first, not golf.  If you can honestly tell yourself that they are getting their fair share of Dan's time and are not being asked to make sacrifices to support your addiction, then go for it.  Otherwise it is time to re-focus on your family and pursue golf as very much a secondary activity.

Truth Hurts. But I think after reading a few comments maybe it came off a little too harsh. I may have came off a little strong, but I do spend a good amount of time with the family and I am not going out with friends. I still tuck my kids into bed at night and get home to watch a show with the wife. AT THE SAME TIME, however, I do wish I could not think about the game 24/7 and when I am home with the kids not thinking or talking about golf. I am trying to find that balance where I can shut it off and turn it on- which is why I feel it could be a problem. 

post #17 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FooFader View Post
 

I think most people on this site would probably say they were golf addicts to some degree.

 

I know i certainly am but why? I think like the OP said of himself, i too have an addictive personality. It's quite common for me to become completely engrossed in one thing for a week or two and then overnight I'll have lost interest. But in that fortnight or so I'll have learnt and read enough information on a topic to be half way to expert knowledge. I'm not sure if anyone else can relate to such behavior but it keeps me happy, I'm a numbers geek kinda guy so for example a once went through a stage of wanting to know everything there was about cameras purely as i was looking at buying a cheap point and shoot thing for my sister.

 

I think though i can honestly say that golf is the one thing I've never really lost interest in. I had a year or so when i would say i was no longer fanatical but other than that I've been addicted to golf for seven years.  I follow the tours, keep update with equipment releases, learn as much as possible about the golf swing and most recently started to learn the entirety of the rules of golf word for word. Also I've come to the realization that in the past 3 years may golf has not improved one bit so I've signed up for evolvr and I'm committed to playing better golf by 2015.

 

Anyhow, being addicted to golf is great. Unless you have things that stand in the way of our golf. 

I feel this exact same way ALL THE TIME. I want to start a different business every few months and consume myself in knowledge. Can I say it was a waste of time? No, because I learned valuable things and I have taught myself to learn. I always think to my self I know a little about a lot of stuff because of that. Golf is the only thing I have followed through with as far as goals and plans; I mean I finished college and got a job but as far as doing something on my own, starting something from scratch, golf is my one thing I have followed through on to this point with no sign of losing interest. Also- golf was what got me through college and has done a lot for me. It may be an addiction, but it has done me good to this point- I am just afraid it could hurt something in the future if I can't stop at least thinking about it when I am not playing. 

post #18 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by GHIN0011458 View Post
 

I feel this exact same way ALL THE TIME. I want to start a different business every few months and consume myself in knowledge. Can I say it was a waste of time? No, because I learned valuable things and I have taught myself to learn. I always think to my self I know a little about a lot of stuff because of that. Golf is the only thing I have followed through with as far as goals and plans; I mean I finished college and got a job but as far as doing something on my own, starting something from scratch, golf is my one thing I have followed through on to this point with no sign of losing interest. Also- golf was what got me through college and has done a lot for me. It may be an addiction, but it has done me good to this point- I am just afraid it could hurt something in the future if I can't stop at least thinking about it when I am not playing. 

Sounds like we have similar personalities to some degree then!

 

As i think @newtogolf said and i would agree applies to myself is that im not really an addict just a fanatic. Yeah sure i love to get out and play golf and i do spend a lot of time thinking about golf in a day but i can switch that off when needed or im doing something else. When i'm spending the day with the girlfriend i'm certainly not thinking, "i wish i could get away and play golf" or thinking about golf at all ;-)

 

From the sounds of it you just need to learn to switch off your "golf brain" from time to time. I am no psychologist so not really my place to delve into how to go about doing that. 

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