Does Your Club Have a "Character?"

[snapfade]

There is a guy at the club who makes it a point to work into the conversation that he is buddies with a certain LIV Golf CEO. Its like a running joke, you can be talking about the rain and he will out of the blue say something to the effect, "I was talking to G a few minutes ago and it is pouring where he's at." Of course no one has as ever seen him with him.  Then there is the guy who will tell you everything that is wrong with the administration of the club. We have the resident agricultural expert who is way more knowledgeable on greens and weed killing and so forth than the superintendent. Then there is the guy I call the gypsy. He has this 4 seater golf cart with his surfboard and kayak on top of it, water cans, rod holders, the works, LEDs all over it, I need to get a picture of it, its a beast. I'm the guy that is to cheap to pay 52 dollars for a club logo golf shirt and gripes about the price every time I walk into the shop.  I love them all. Any interesting characters at you place?

 

[ChetlovesMer]

We've got two/three that I can think of. 

1 - The Hippie - He's the guy that pushes the dress code. He's usually wearing a non-collared shirt and shorts that barely qualify as non-cut-offs. Sometimes he plays in flip-flops, sometimes barefoot. (Although, he owns golf shoes... I've seen him in them.) His grooming leaves something to be desired. He always seems like he could use a shower. Generally has his "medicinal" marijuana with him. In fairness, I've played with him on more than one occasion and I can't complain. He was enjoyable company and he keeps up. 

2 - The Drunk - This guy is never sober. He's always ordering multiple drinks from the drink cart. Totally unreliable in terms of keeping his score. But in fairness, he probably doesn't remember much anyway. Surprisingly, even though you'll have a half dozen stories about him after just playing one round with him, he is no fun at all to golf with. He's loud. He's rude. He's often belligerent. And he's prone to major mood swings. I've also seen him on multiple occasions pick up somebody else's ball, put it in his pocket and then lie to their face about it. (I suppose it is possible he actually doesn't remember picking up their ball.... cuz ... you know, he's drunk.)

3 - The Would-be-PGA-Tour-Pro - I actually haven't seen this guy in a while so maybe he moved on. But when he used to be a regular, everyone knew this guy. IMO - Total dickweed. The first time I ever played with him he lined up his 20 foot putt from all 4 different sides. Which would be fine except he's a jackass and says something like "Are you done?" when you line up your putt at the same time he's lining up his. "Dude, it's going to take you 2-3 minutes to hit your putt. We all might as well be productive while we wait for your ass." This guy is slow as molasses in winter, yet bitches when you do any pre-shot work during his pre-shot work. Even if you aren't in his sight lines. But the worst thing about him is his "Sniff". Anytime anyone in the group hits a shot that doesn't meet his standard, or miss a putt... any putt, he'd do this thing where he jerks his head back and sniffs out his nose, as if we are all beneath his greatness. "Dude, your handicap is within 2 strokes of mine.... Stop acting like its so demeaning for you to have to play with us." ... I haven't seen this dude in over a year. But I don't miss him. 

[colin007]

42 minutes ago, ChetlovesMer said:

We've got two/three that I can think of. 

1 - The Hippie - He's the guy that pushes the dress code. He's usually wearing a non-collared shirt and shorts that barely qualify as non-cut-offs. Sometimes he plays in flip-flops, sometimes barefoot. (Although, he owns golf shoes... I've seen him in them.) His grooming leaves something to be desired. He always seems like he could use a shower. Generally has his "medicinal" marijuana with him. In fairness, I've played with him on more than one occasion and I can't complain. He was enjoyable company and he keeps up. 

2 - The Drunk - This guy is never sober. He's always ordering multiple drinks from the drink cart. Totally unreliable in terms of keeping his score. But in fairness, he probably doesn't remember much anyway. Surprisingly, even though you'll have a half dozen stories about him after just playing one round with him, he is no fun at all to golf with. He's loud. He's rude. He's often belligerent. And he's prone to major mood swings. I've also seen him on multiple occasions pick up somebody else's ball, put it in his pocket and then lie to their face about it. (I suppose it is possible he actually doesn't remember picking up their ball.... cuz ... you know, he's drunk.)

3 - The Would-be-PGA-Tour-Pro - I actually haven't seen this guy in a while so maybe he moved on. But when he used to be a regular, everyone knew this guy. IMO - Total dickweed. The first time I ever played with him he lined up his 20 foot putt from all 4 different sides. Which would be fine except he's a jackass and says something like "Are you done?" when you line up your putt at the same time he's lining up his. "Dude, it's going to take you 2-3 minutes to hit your putt. We all might as well be productive while we wait for your ass." This guy is slow as molasses in winter, yet bitches when you do any pre-shot work during his pre-shot work. Even if you aren't in his sight lines. But the worst thing about him is his "Sniff". Anytime anyone in the group hits a shot that doesn't meet his standard, or miss a putt... any putt, he'd do this thing where he jerks his head back and sniffs out his nose, as if we are all beneath his greatness. "Dude, your handicap is within 2 strokes of mine.... Stop acting like its so demeaning for you to have to play with us." ... I haven't seen this dude in over a year. But I don't miss him. 

I might be betraying my own bias for particular intoxicants, but I would much rather play with Weed Guy than Drunk Guy

[ChetlovesMer]

1 minute ago, colin007 said:

I might be betraying my own bias for particular intoxicants, but I would much rather play with Weed Guy than Drunk Guy

I can't disagree with you. 

[StuM]

I'm not in a club but will refer to my league.  

Character #1: The "Hot Temper".   He can't stop swearing or pounding his driver into the ground after anythying other than a perfect shot.  Hey guy, none of us are that good.  RELAX!

Chaarater #2: The "Slow Guy" that never realizes that he is the "Slow Guy", even if you tell him to his face that he is "THE" slow guy.  He just can't comprehend it and has no clue, and telling him how to play faster just goes over his head because he does not realize he is "THE" slow guy.

Character #3: The "Teacher".  He may not have much of a game for himself but he sure can tell you what you should be doing.

I just wonder what charater they think I am.

Edited June 22, 2023 by StuM

[ChetlovesMer]

2 minutes ago, StuM said:

Chaarater #2: The "Slow Guy" that never realizes that he is the "Slow Guy", even if you tell him to his face that he is "THE" slow guy.  He just can't comprehend it and has no clue, and telling him how to play faster just goes over his head because he does not realize he is "THE" slow guy.

Unfortunately, "The Slow Guy" never seems to realize he's "The Slow Guy". 

[snapfade]

1 hour ago, ChetlovesMer said:

We've got two/three that I can think of. 

1 - The Hippie - He's the guy that pushes the dress code. He's usually wearing a non-collared shirt and shorts that barely qualify as non-cut-offs. Sometimes he plays in flip-flops, sometimes barefoot. (Although, he owns golf shoes... I've seen him in them.) His grooming leaves something to be desired. He always seems like he could use a shower. Generally has his "medicinal" marijuana with him. In fairness, I've played with him on more than one occasion and I can't complain. He was enjoyable company and he keeps up. 

2 - The Drunk - This guy is never sober. He's always ordering multiple drinks from the drink cart. Totally unreliable in terms of keeping his score. But in fairness, he probably doesn't remember much anyway. Surprisingly, even though you'll have a half dozen stories about him after just playing one round with him, he is no fun at all to golf with. He's loud. He's rude. He's often belligerent. And he's prone to major mood swings. I've also seen him on multiple occasions pick up somebody else's ball, put it in his pocket and then lie to their face about it. (I suppose it is possible he actually doesn't remember picking up their ball.... cuz ... you know, he's drunk.)

3 - The Would-be-PGA-Tour-Pro - I actually haven't seen this guy in a while so maybe he moved on. But when he used to be a regular, everyone knew this guy. IMO - Total dickweed. The first time I ever played with him he lined up his 20 foot putt from all 4 different sides. Which would be fine except he's a jackass and says something like "Are you done?" when you line up your putt at the same time he's lining up his. "Dude, it's going to take you 2-3 minutes to hit your putt. We all might as well be productive while we wait for your ass." This guy is slow as molasses in winter, yet bitches when you do any pre-shot work during his pre-shot work. Even if you aren't in his sight lines. But the worst thing about him is his "Sniff". Anytime anyone in the group hits a shot that doesn't meet his standard, or miss a putt... any putt, he'd do this thing where he jerks his head back and sniffs out his nose, as if we are all beneath his greatness. "Dude, your handicap is within 2 strokes of mine.... Stop acting like its so demeaning for you to have to play with us." ... I haven't seen this dude in over a year. But I don't miss him. 

I for one enjoy a cold one on the course but loud drunks are the worst. They usually think their pick-up lines for the cart girl are original and that she really is interested. Every course has a 'tour pro" LOL, usually a middle aged guy, matching everything, latest top shelf clubs, goes on and on about club fitting, plays in the "D" flight however. Oh, we have a hippie dude, rides a Caddiebike. I haven't seen him in a while though.

[StuM]

22 minutes ago, snapfade said:

They usually think their pick-up lines for the cart girl are original and that she really is interested.

Good point, I forgot a Character, the "Dirty Old Guy".  He can't see where he hit his ball but he can see the beverage cart gril 2 holes away and always makes sure you know how cute he thinks she is.  The nice thing about him is he buys every round on the course so he gets the chance to talk to her, saves the rest of us a lot or cash.

[klineka]

When I read this title I thought it was asking if my golf clubs remind me of characters LOL

[mcanadiens]

Characters besides myself ...

One of my regular playing partners is a guy I've nicknamed "The Mayor of Miami Shores." It's a public course so a lot of different people play there, but if you've been there more than a handful of time times this guy probably knows you. 

I do like the man, but he can get carried away talking to people. We'll be waiting on the first tee and he'll still by on the clubhouse porch gabbing away. He'll see someone on the course while we are halfway down the fairway and go over to talk. When he finally stops, we are on the green and he still has a fairway wood in his hands.