Being a Guy, I...

[Travtex]

With luck, this thread can help to demonstrate some entertaining ways in which testosterone can be detrimental to one's IQ.

So...

Having recently moved without my fiance' -- She's probably about 4-6 months out from joining me -- I immediately came upon the notion that my large new living room is an excellent spot for practicing my pitch and chip shots.

Given that I'm not a complete moron, I was using a plastic practice ball.

Anyway, I combined this idea with the brilliant notion that the kitchen sink was the ideal spot to clean golf clubs. Furthermore, they should be leaned against the counter clubhead up so as to be easier to dry. While those dry, I can go over here and try to chip over the couch! Hell, let's throw a couple beers into the project. Yay!

Anyway, somewhere amidst all this chaos, Neko the Bengal caught a sand wedge in the head.

Given that I don't WANT to kill my cat or cause him long-term brain damage, I was quite upset about this. Scared the hell out me, really. His tiny head made a 'THOK!' noise, and being as pampered as he is, he just ran in circles making gagging noises, completely unfamiliar with how to deal with a 'Holy Crap That Hurt' type situation.

The Neko is Stalwart, however, and recovered after an evening of rest, occasional hiding, and paranoia. I learned from this experience that Golf, a game in which you swing a metal club 100mph at a viciously hard rubber ball and knock it 200+ yards in the air... is a passtime best enjoyed OUTside.

The Neko learned that when metal clubs are flying through the air, cats with smallish heads should make every attempt to stay the hell out of the area.

I personally blame Testosterone. This is what Testosterone has done to me, and I am working to overcome it. How has Testosterone negatively impacted YOUR life?

(Meanwhile, I'm planning on working out at the local MMA gym tonight. 36 years old, a year off from training... what could go wrong?)

The Neko and I in "Action":

[The Road Dog]

Ahh! Lord it is hard to type when laughing really hard. I love cats, but man I was on the floor reading this post... Don't have a testosterone reply but thanks for a great post for Monday morning.

[iacas]

Dog Lover Says: "Buddy, if you were actually a guy, you wouldn't have a cat to begin with."

:)

[DavidFehertysBike]

Ah man, that sucks.. Im glad the cat is ok.

[Zeph]

Hope you didn't scratch the club.

[aca247]

testosterone has affected me by getting a dog not a cat :)

[ET-Taylor]

  iacas said:

Dog Lover Says: "Buddy, if you were actually a guy, you wouldn't have a cat to begin with."

Dogs need walking so less time on the golf course

[DavidFehertysBike]

  ET-Taylor said:

Dogs need walking so less time on the golf course

Very true. Dogs are so needy. My cat hasnt even acknowledged my existance in weeks. Its awesome.

[Travtex]

  iacas said:

Dog Lover Says: "Buddy, if you were actually a guy, you wouldn't have a cat to begin with."

Hah. Technically, I don't. I have a Bengal. (Wild Hybrid. In terms of pet personality, 'cat' is about as far from a description as one can muster.)

Granted, I -also- have a cat, but Pound Cat was hired to keep the Bengal from breaking things while I was away for 12 hour shifts. Bengals are pretty much cat-shaped disturbingly intelligent dogs in terms of personality. (And they're thieves. Mine keeps stealing my camera. And spatulas. He loves to steal spatulas. You haven't felt like an idiot until you've chased a cat upstairs trying to retrieve a major kitchen utensil.) Back on the Guy/Cat point -- My fiance' has a Traditional Dad, who upon finding out I had cats decided to ask, "What the hell for? So, he's gay?" (This entertains the hell out of me, though, as I can also operate in Traditional Guy frameworks... and I'm about a foot taller than he coupled with a great deal of audacity.. "Talkin' crap about my cats, Dale?" *hah*) It did seriously traumatize me, though. *lol* My Bengal waits anxiously for me at the window when I come home from work (My emergency backup cat wouldn't give a crap if I took a month getting home, but she's there to keep the primary cat entertained during my 12-hour shifts so he doesn't ransack the house), and here I am bashing him in the head with a wedge....

  Zeph said:

Hope you didn't scratch the club.

Awesomeness.

  DavidFehertysBike said:

Very true. Dogs are so needy. My cat hasnt even acknowledged my existance in weeks. Its awesome.

Yeah, that's the down side of owning a bengal. They notice you and so forth.

My SO wants a puppy... Ugh.

[Jay-Bird]

I thought "hitting the kitty" meant something entirely different.

That bengal will remember you're attack - and get revenge, it WILL happen. Be ready.

[jamo]

This is one of my favorite threads of all time. Well done.

[Travtex]

  Jay-Bird said:

I thought "hitting the kitty" meant something entirely different.

[nuck81]

Have two cats myself. I've come pretty close to bashing one of mine several times. The smart one knows to hide. The dumb one also likes to chase my putts when I hit in the living room. I haven;t taught him how to bring them back yet...

[kilbyman]

  iacas said:

Dog Lover Says: "Buddy, if you were actually a guy, you wouldn't have a cat to begin with."

........

+1

[Jay-Bird]

  Travtex said:

"Metaphors be with you"

[DocWu1948]

I've rented out single family houses for 20 odd years and unsupervised men with golf clubs were always headaches. I've had two experiences with guys that came in a few months before their wives arrived.. They swing clubs in the living room and break stuff, mostly their own furniture. Coffee and drink stains all over the place. Beer cans piled high in the kitchen trash. Then they want it all cleaned before the missus shows up. I helped them out, and it was always worth it. A happy renter is better than no renter.

[wildcorndog]

test got me caught up at a cheap hotel with a stripper about a year after i was married.......

[Bug Bunny]

Well, dude, let's stop with the suspense!!!!!!!!! So how was the shot? Clean contact? Come on man we need DETAILS!!!