One of the best most aggravating days on the course

[tracker]

Went to a new course today with a friend to play 18. The day started out relatively "normal" with me getting a +3 on the first hole. haha Things started to turn and before I knew it, I went from the +3 to a 1, 2, 2, -1, 1, 1, 0, 2 to end the first nine with 11 over. To most of you this may not be impressive but this was one of my best 9 at a "long course". (I've been playing for a little over 3 months. No formal lessons yet but I've been watching lots of youtube lol and getting some tips from friends with more experience and hitting the range 3-4 times a week)

This is where the aggravating part comes in. One of my friends is highly competitive. I think the fact that he's been playing on and off for about 10 years and ended the first nine with 22 over didn't sit right. The whole round, I see him spray the ball left/right and do it again and again out of frustration and lack of concentration. He's literally bitching his whole way to the ball dragging his feet just to do it again. I tell him to slow it down that we're out having fun and all that, but he just can't snap out of it. He's only able to keep it together for a shot or two until he "mis-hits" again and starts bitching again. The funny thing is, he'd ask what I got, I'll say par or bogey or whatever I shot and if it's better than what he shot, it's as if it just fueled his frustration. This went on for a few more holes in the back as I continued my "streak" with a 2, 0, 0, 0, 2...at this point, I'm having such a good game I try to pay him no mind. Unfortunately for me, ignoring someone isn't too effective when you're putting it out on the green and the other person walks off after a triple-quad whatever bogey and proceeds to chuck the club into the green in disgust. I mean, I know where he's coming from, I'm competitive too and a bad "easy shot" is frustrating.....but come on, it's not like there was money on the line. Not only did he take a good chunk out of the green, but it also bent his club .

Up until this point I tried ignoring it and concentrating on my own game. (In retrospect, I still should have ignored it and not let it get to me) Instead, I called him out and basically told him he was being a "douche bag". And that I need to vent too sometimes. I'll say shit, faack, and more sometimes after I top/chunk/hit-look-down-and-still-see-the-ball, but I don't go on for the next three holes bitching and whining about how much better I should be!!!

I guess everyone handles anger and frustration differently on the course. What really gets to me is that I let my game go to complete crap after that! I just could not play. I never would have thought an annoyance like that could affect my game so much. After a couple more holes I decided my head just wasn't in it anymore and called it a day. All of a sudden it just wasn't fun. I didn't even finish what began as one of my best rounds.

IF I play with this friend again, I'm playing for something. Maybe then I'll be able to just laugh it off or laugh at him and win something in the end.

Feel free to post your experience/stories about playing with a poor sport. lol
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How do you handle it and does it affect your game?

[ArrrrJay]

I usually recommend (or force, if they are friends) they read the book Golf is Not a Game of Perfect by Bob Rotella .

There's a lot this book has to offer, and most of it is about how to enjoy playing. It teaches the way to play the game, not how to swing or anything. If you can enjoy what you're doing, smile when you have a bad shot, and truthfully play the course one shot at a time, you're doing it right. I credit this book with taking off 5 to 10 strokes on my bad days, where my temper used to come into play. I no longer go to a course with the expectation of shooting my best possible score every time, and can still have fun when I end up in the triple digits (beer may be required though).

I'd pass the book along, it's fairly cheap, and I've given it to a few friends as a gift, and it's made them better playing partners.

[NI4NI]

If he's a really good friend then I would be direct with him. If he can neither accept nor comply with it, then don't spend a lot of golf time with him. Life's too short to play this game in a crappy state of mind. If he's not a close friend, then I would just look for another playing partner without investing must time trying to fix the situation. Everyone has a bad day, so perhaps your friend was off as well - if this happens more than once, then you begin to establish a trend...

[newtogolf]

Your friend sounds like he needs to get his expectations more in line with the reality of his game. I'm sure it frustrated him that you as a new golfer were doing better than he was. Was this the first time you played with him or has he done the same thing in the past?

[BostonSully]

Dont worry if I saw one of my friends disrespect a green like that I would call him a douche bag too. Theres no reason to mess with the course if your playing crappy. Humming sandwedge against tree ok, your only ruining your own stuff, humming it into green big nono.. Greens are worth like 10-15k at the lowend.

[chrisronline]

I have issues with keeping my temper when I don't hit a shot or play like I want to. What works for me is to stay positive and realize that the bad shot only gave me an opportunity to try another shot and practice more. If I have a bad day and mishit shots left and right, it at least gives me practice hitting the ball from unusual locations and makes me better for the days where my game is on.

[chilly]

I had a couple bad rounds as of late, and basically was in the same mode as your buddy. I realized after the round that I probably made a couple of my buddies "uncomfortable" during the round, which sucks. They didn't say anything, but the lack of conversation among the rest of the group told the story. I know, because another guy in the group went on a bad streak and was pissing and moaning and I know how it effected them. So, basically, tell your buddy that it sucks playing with him when he gets in that mode, he may not realize how much it effects others. I'm working on cleaning up my attitude, it hurts my game a bunch, and I'm sure doesn't really help what others are trying to do out there.

Just one other thought, it doesnt' really matter that the game isn't being played for money, I get pissed because I know that I'm not playing to my "normal" capabilities...so I wouldn't say that changing the stakes of the game will make him change in any way.

[tracker]

Your friend sounds like he needs to get his expectations more in line with the reality of his game. I'm sure it frustrated him that you as a new golfer were doing better than he was. Was this the first time you played with him or has he done the same thing in the past?

A few times now, and it's not the only time.

I usually recommend (or force, if they are friends) they read the book

That is a great suggestion. Thank you

I'll prob get a copy for myself too. It sounds like it would probably help me with my game as well, considering I lost it towards the end too.