A day in the life of Stevie Williams

[cart7]

A day in the life of Steve Williams, Super Caddie RICHARD HINDS 7am: Knock on Adam's hotel room door and prepare to pull him from beneath a pile of hookers and cocktail waitresses. But he is showered, dressed and ready to go. Strange behaviour for a top-flight player, but it's not up to a humble servant like me to judge. 7.30am: Stuck in heavy traffic on our way to the course. Leap out of courtesy car and, after some flexing of the old Kiwi muscles, the paramedics finally agree to pull the ambulance to the side of the road and let us through. Honestly, don't people know professional caddies and their golfers work to strict deadlines? 8am: Great session on the practice tee. Clubs coming out of the bag smoothly, towel work good. Now just hope Adam can play his part. 8.30am: Spot Tiger. Later he tells the press I made a throat-slitting gesture. Just another of the things people don't know about Tiger. Absolutely no respect for great traditions like the haka. 8.45am: Catch a bit of the telecast in the locker room. Really enjoy Nick Faldo's analysis. Knows a bit about the game, having won six majors - almost half as many as me! 9am: Caddies are a close-knit bunch and never let petty feuds destroy our camaraderie. So it's nice to welcome Tiger's new man, Byron Bell, with the traditional ''brick in the bottom of the bag'' initiation. Naturally, I get blamed for planting the exploding golf balls when Tiger tees off. People just won't accept that I have moved on. First tee: Adam asks for his driver, but I tell him he should go with a one wood. He gives me an uncertain look, but agrees. You have to establish who's boss in a new relationship. Fifth fairway: Adam has hoiked his drive way left, the type of tense situation where you earn your pay. Adam wants a four-iron but I hand him a banana. Just a little reminder not to make a monkey out of me by hitting the ball into a place where I haven't got a yardage. Eighth tee: Darren Clarke pulls out his matches and prepares to light a cigar. I grab the fire hydrant from the bottom of the bag and spray him with foam. It's those little things, like having the umbrella up when the first drop falls, always packing two of everything and saving your client from potentially harmful passive smoking that set the truly great caddie apart. Eleventh fairway: Adam's long putter keeps rubbing against my ear. But, in this game, hardship and suffering are part of the deal. So I snap the thing over my knee, tell Adam only those dodderers on the Seniors Tour and Tiger's old girlfriends need broomsticks. He says Tony Navarro never spoke to him like that. The boy clearly needs some tough love! Sixteenth green: Uh, oh! The media pack has arrived. Well, some old lady in the gallery has pulled out a camera and there is a real danger she will snap Adam's backswing. So, before you can say ''cheese'', I jump the rope, pin her to the ground and throw the offending item into a water hazard. When she gets up, she claims she was taking a picture of her husband and Adam had already putted out, anyway. This is the type of media distortion you have to live with on tour. 2.30pm: Back in the locker room. Adam has shot a 73, but I reassure him I'm not too upset - even the greatest caddie has to accept that his player can let him down. Now it's the press conference, sign some autographs and a meeting with a biographer back at the hotel. Adam? Not sure what he's up to. Bloke's bloody lucky to avoid the trappings of stardom. - Sydney Morning Herald

[deasy55]

Seems pretty accurate to me

[pingman1011]

Well said!!!!!

He has a tough life.....

[Kieran123]

That was pretty good!

Don't know how many yanks etc will know what a haka is ( or the throat slitting reference ) ...so here you go

It's right at the end.

[senorchipotle]

pretty sure everybody knows what the haka is. and btw, not all americans are "yanks," fyi.

[carpediem4300]

the same not all brits are limeys and not all australians are aussie's whats your point?

Originally Posted by senorchipotle

pretty sure everybody knows what the haka is. and btw, not all americans are "yanks," fyi.

[Kieran123]

Originally Posted by senorchipotle

pretty sure everybody knows what the haka is. and btw, not all americans are "yanks," fyi.

sorry, everyone back home calls americans yanks.

did not intend to offend!

most north americans I have met have no idea what a 'haka' is.

[senorchipotle]

Originally Posted by carpediem4300

the same not all brits are limeys and not all australians are aussie's whats your point?

what do you mean, "what's my point?" pretty obvious, isn't it? he referred to the americans on the board as "yanks." i kindly let him know not all americans take kindly to being referred to as "yank."

anything else troubling you?

[senorchipotle]

Originally Posted by Kieran123

sorry, everyone back home calls americans yanks.

did not intend to offend!

most north americans I have met have no idea what a 'haka' is.

wasn't offended, just offering that info in case you run into a bunch of texans up in canada sometime. ;)

hmm... maybe i take what i think as common knowledge for granted. i'm surprised people have never heard of the haka. given the large samoan population on the west coast here, many high school football teams have taken to doing their native haka.

[Kieran123]

Originally Posted by senorchipotle

wasn't offended, just offering that info in case you run into a bunch of texans up in canada sometime. ;)

hmm... maybe i take what i think as common knowledge for granted. i'm surprised people have never heard of the haka. given the large samoan population on the west coast here, many high school football teams have taken to doing their native haka.

I think the states samoan/pacific island population is a lot higher than in Canada ( too cold up here )

I do know that a lot of sport teams do it now, and like you said, mainly in high schools.

I can see how being called a yank could be annoying. We call Aucklander's back home Jafas ( just another f***en aucklander ) ...and if all of us got called that, it would be annoying

[sacm3bill]

Originally Posted by senorchipotle

pretty sure everybody knows what the haka is. and btw, not all americans are "yanks," fyi.

Pretty sure I had no idea what the haka is. And I don't mind being called Yank, but only discovered via this thread that some do.

[Zeph]

Did someone steal your paragraphs?

[Shorty]

Originally Posted by Zeph

Did someone steal your paragraphs?

He just cut and pasted something Richard Hinds wrote. It's not his.

[senorchipotle]

Originally Posted by sacm3bill

Pretty sure I had no idea what the haka is. And I don't mind being called Yank, but only discovered via this thread that some do.

yeah, people from the south tend not to like being referred to as yanks. something about the civil war, cultural differences, etc.

[clubchamp]

Originally Posted by senorchipotle

yeah, people from the south tend not to like being referred to as yanks. something about the civil war, cultural differences, etc.

People from the south called people from the north d*** yankees during the civil war so someone still upset with how the civil war turned out might be offended. The word "yanks" goes back to the revolutionary war and that why most foreigners call americans "yanks". Easiest way to describe it...

To foreigners a Yankee is an american

To an american a Yankee is a Northern (northeast)

[newtogolf]

Stevie had a pretty good day today he's tied for 11th.

[topspin4hand]

Adam Stevie was in 1st place at one point during the 2nd round. You'd have thought a "Front runner" like Stevie would still be at the top of the leaderboard!  lol ... you gotta love a caddy with some moxie.

Originally Posted by newtogolf

Stevie had a pretty good day today he's tied for 11th.

[newtogolf]

Stevie must be a good caddy because Scott doesn't seem like a guy that would want to deal with his ego or the additional attention that comes with having him carry his bag.

Originally Posted by topspin4hand

Adam Stevie was in 1st place at one point during the 2nd round. You'd have thought a "Front runner" like Stevie would still be at the top of the leaderboard!  lol ... you gotta love a caddy with some moxie.