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The Internet Adjustment Formula

Slice of Life

By Slice of Life
in Golf Talk

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Posted
Posted

I posted it in another thread, but I feel like it deserves its own...

We've all read about the guys who average 374 yard drives into a headwind in the rain. But there's never been a way to figure out where that "average" number comes from....

Until now.

I've developed the Internet Adjustment Formula (Props to Lihu for the name) which allows you to determine your own Internet Adjusted driver distance, as well as figure out someone's actual driver distance based on their EPS (E-Penis Size).

The formula shows that

IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)

Where,


IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)

Now, based on this...let's say your actual average driver distance is 243 yards, and you have an e-penis size of 14".

Plugging into the formula, your IAD would be just over 304 yards. Not bad! Very respectable IAD.

However, if the EPS is reduced to 6", your IAD is just over 246 yards...which is almost spot on accurate with the ADD.

The lower your ADD, the higher the discrepancy between the ADD and the IAD, with respect to the EPS.

So spread the word, and feel free to share your IAD!

  • Upvote 2
Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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Ernest Jones Incredible Member

Ernest Jones

Posted
Posted

The poster's opinion of Holly's boobs have to play some kind of role in there somewhere.

Yours in earnest, Jason.
Call me Ernest, or EJ or Ernie.

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iacas Hall of Fame Member

iacas

Posted
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What's the conversion rate from angstroms to inches again?

Erik J. Barzeski — ⛳ I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Originally Posted by Ernest Jones

The poster's opinion of Holly's boobs have to play some kind of role in there somewhere.

I haven't crunched the numbers, but if they claim in any way that they would not wreck her (assuming single/hetero status), assume their EPS is at least 16". That's some serious internet machoism.

Originally Posted by iacas

What's the conversion rate from angstroms to inches again?

1 angstrom = 3.93700787 × 10 -9 inches
Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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iacas Hall of Fame Member

iacas

Posted
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Posted

Leave it to Slice to find a way to fit his love of penises into his signature.

Looks real good above that butt Badge he's got.

Erik J. Barzeski — ⛳ I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • Author, Lowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Posted
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Originally Posted by iacas

Leave it to Slice to find a way to fit his love of penises into his signature.

Looks real good above that butt Badge he's got.

LOL

That's too freakin' funny...

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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jamo Incredible Member

jamo

Posted
Posted
My penis is 325 yards long? That doesn't seem right.

In my bag:

Driver: Titleist TSi3 | 15º 3-Wood: Ping G410 | 17º 2-Hybrid: Ping G410 | 19º 3-Iron: TaylorMade GAPR Lo |4-PW Irons: Nike VR Pro Combo | 54º SW, 60º LW: Titleist Vokey SM8 | Putter: Odyssey Toulon Las Vegas H7

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iacas Hall of Fame Member

iacas

Posted
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Posted
Originally Posted by jamo

My penis is 325 yards long? That doesn't seem right.

Angstroms. You forgot to convert it back.

Erik J. Barzeski — ⛳ I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • Author, Lowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

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jamo Incredible Member

jamo

Posted
Posted
Angstroms. You forgot to convert it back.

Ah. Damn scientific notation.

In my bag:

Driver: Titleist TSi3 | 15º 3-Wood: Ping G410 | 17º 2-Hybrid: Ping G410 | 19º 3-Iron: TaylorMade GAPR Lo |4-PW Irons: Nike VR Pro Combo | 54º SW, 60º LW: Titleist Vokey SM8 | Putter: Odyssey Toulon Las Vegas H7

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Posted
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BTW, here are graphs to demonstrate a couple examples...

These two graphs show the IAD (y-axis) relative to the ADD (x-axis). ADD values of 250, 300, and 350 have been marked to show the difference between an EPS of 6", and an EPS of 12".

Now, by looking at this, we can see that the further your ADD is, the less exaggerated your IAD will be, and if your EPS is small enough, your IAD will actually be lower than your ADD. For example, if someone's ADD is 300 yards, but they only have an EPS of 6", their IAD will only be around 294 yards, since they feel no need to exaggerate, and actually deprive themselves of distance cred.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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inthehole Great Member

inthehole

Posted
Posted

e-peen - LOL - epic !!

John

Fav LT Quote ... "you can talk to a fade, but a hook won't listen"

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Motley01 Great Member

Motley01

Posted
Posted

omg this is funny thread. And I love slice's sig now!

good lord help us all, the crazy epenis talk.

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Irons:  Callaway Apex 4-PW Project X 5.5 shafts

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RandallT Super Member

RandallT

Posted
Posted

Perhaps TST should rate its members' e-penis sizes every few years, setting the average to an arbitrary 113 units.

My Swing

Driver: :ping: G30, Irons: :tmade: Burner 2.0, Putter: :cleveland:, Balls: :snell:

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Lihu Incredible Member

Lihu

Posted
Posted
I shouldn't have brought this up, earlier. :-) My fault, sorry.

:ping:  :tmade:  :callaway:   :gamegolf:  :titleist:

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

Posted
  • Author
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omg this is funny thread. And I love slice's sig now!

good lord help us all, the crazy epenis talk.

OMFG I DIDN'T SEE THAT UNTIL NOW.

HAHAHAHA, literally just belly laughed by myself in my living room. I can't take credit for it, it's gotta be Erik's doing. And it's absolutely staying.

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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cipher Super Member

cipher

Posted
Posted

229 yards...that does not seem right, I drive the ball about 260 normally.  Wait does EPS mean like an exaggerated penis size?  Never mind let me recalculate this.

Nate

:tmade:(10.5) :pxg:(4W & 7W) MIURA(3-PW) :mizuno:(50/54/60) 

 

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Slice of Life Great Member

Slice of Life

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Posted

229 yards...that does not seem right, I drive the ball about 260 normally.  Wait does EPS mean like an exaggerated penis size?  Never mind let me recalculate this.

Ok, you're a humble guy, so I'd give you an EPS of around 6.2".

With that, and your ADD of 260, your IAD would be 261.97.

Sorry to hear about your 1.65" peen though. :whistle:

Ryan M
 
The Internet Adjustment Formula:
IAD = ( [ADD] * .96 + [EPS] * [1/.12] ) / (1.15)
 
IAD = Internet Adjusted Distance (in yards)
ADD = Actual Driver Distance (in yards)
EPS = E-Penis Size (in inches)
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rkim291968 Super Member

rkim291968

Posted
Posted

Ok, you're a humble guy, so I'd give you an EPS of around 6.2".

With that, and your ADD of 260, your IAD would be 261.97.

Sorry to hear about your 1.65" peen though.

That must have been right after he came out of cold pool.   It happens.

Contrary to what most people think, Napoleon's size of you know what is normal.   They kept the poor general (or emperor's) manhood.   It's all dried up and shrunk and people deduced that he had a small man's best friend.   It happens.

RiCK

(Play it again, Sam)

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