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New player joining a 3 some


jopela
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The recent thread about the walk on jerk joining the 3some got me thinking. I am a new player and dont have enogh friends who play enough for me to go out with a group all the time. I have always been worried about being added to an existing group since I am so bad. I don't want to ruin anyones good time by slowing them down too much. I only did it once and explained I am a beginner and they were cool with it, but it is very intimidating. Do you bettr golfers mind when a noob joins your group? I want to come out of the closet.
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If you want to play enough to improve you'll have to suck it up and join. The "walk on" jerk is a different issue and just by the way that you've stated your case I would guess that you're NOT a jerk. If you're up front about your skill level you won't have too much trouble finding a group to play with. My experience has been if they don't want to play with you - you probably don't want to play with them. Cheers and Good Luck!
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Pretty big existing discussion thread along these lines here

Basically just play your game - if you slow things down make sure it's your actual shot slowing things down and not a 20-30 practice swing pre-shot routine before your next duff that holds the group up. Be positive and follow golf etiquette - don't focus on you being terrible or act like they are God's gift to golf - it's just another round and you're just thinking about your next stroke.

I play as a single a LOT. I shoot pretty high but I have people I play in with get my number and call me to play again all the time. I think it's just because I love playing the game so much that we tend to have a good time on the course regardless of the number the other fellow might post (or I could just be that cool J/K)

Good luck.

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Beginners typically don't bother me at all long as they're not dreadfully slow. I could care less if someone chilly dips it up the fairway in 9 shots just don't spend 20 minutes in the woods gathering balls for the next hole.

When I join groups I've never been shy about asking folks how they play. Most play "ready golf" but if I'm joining in and they want to play farthest from the pin honors then I respect that. Just be ready when it's your turn is all I can say
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No worries. Anyone is always welcome in my group. Please remember to pick up if it has been way too many shots. You will know when that is. Some hard-ups might say something about rules and it's cheating. Well, you are a beginner. Keeping up with your group is far more important than following all the rules exactly. If you hit one OB and did not hit a provisional, don't go all the way back to the tee. Tournaments are different, but when learning... do just that, learn. And have fun.

My swing thoughts:

- Negative thinking hurts more than negative swinging.
- I let my swing balance me.
- Full extension back and through to the target. - I swing under not around my body. - My club must not twist in my swing. - Keep a soft left knee

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I think that if you are a beginner and concerned about holding other players back that you might consider playing the 9 hole course first and become comfortable playing before heading out to the 18 holes course.

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I totally feel your pain! I usually go by myself, and at the beginning it was really hard to show up at the starter on Saturday morning and be paired with another group. Now I expect it, and it bothers me not in the least. I learned some things from that though.

1) A lot of golfers are as bad as you even though they've been doing it way longer.

2) It's all about forward progress . If you hit the ball and it goes forward, you are winning. This was a nugget that was given to me in my third ever round of golf by a Sergeant Major in Quantico who I got paired with and he knew I was apprehensive. I'll never forget it, and it is something I echo now to guys who get paired with me who I can tell have performance anxiety.

3) If it's really a problem for you, go to the course about an hour and a half before dark and play nine or twilight. Very seldom will you get paired with anybody. You won't even catch anybody if its a Monday or Tuesday.

I hope this helps. It's an embarrasing thing that a lot of new adult golfers have but dont talk about. You are certainly not alone.

Ben Hogan is my swing coach.

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I add on all the time. I have been doing it for years. When I was not as good it was sometimes intimating but I never had anyone say anything to me. The rule is if you play bad play fast. I am now usually the better than people I pair up with but I still play quickly. I do take my times on the greens because I really want to give myself the best chance at making the putts.

But I have no issues with playing with poor players. I understand. I shot in the 100s for a while. I remember playing with a +2 and I was just having a terrible day and he made shoting a 70 look so easy. He was nothing but kind and encouraging. He was also helpful in giving me some tips. (I was using my wrist in the wrong way)

Brian

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Enjoy playing as a single - you will be amazed at how many people that you get paired up with are at your level or even worse.

Whenever we would get paired up my wife would always warn them how bad we were. I finally got her to stop saying anything when she realized most people we played with couldnt get the ball off of the ground.

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Chris, although my friends call me Mr.L

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I think just the simple fact that you made this post shows me you are respectful enough to be able to put yourself in others' shoes. You can play with me anytime. I'm sure the others around here would agree. The only thing I stress that you learn the ins and outs of golf etiquette. If someone with a low handicap gives you a hard time for joining the group, I think that's his problem, not yours. And if you do find yourself in that kind of awful situation, it's a great opportunity to work on your mental game. Haha, ok, that scenario would be really awful, I realize that, but hey, gotta make the best out of it somehow.

If you shank a lot- and I mean a lot- especially off the tee- I would have to recommend that you stick to the range and par 3 course just a little bit longer before heading out. However, if you happen to lose most of your strokes in the short game and putting, then by all means hit up the course. I think if you can get it airborne most of the time, you should be able to be paired with 98% of the golfing world. I say only 98% since there are certain golfers out there who can stand only playing with low handicaps, but they are rare.

But being paired as a single is great. I think it really trains you well to play with strangers of all handicaps. I see threads about being a range hero and not being able to play well with strangers. Well, I guess there would be nothing better in terms of fixing that than going out there as a single. You'll get used to that kind of pressure and it will make you a stronger player in the long run.

Constantine

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Get to the course early and share your concerns with the starter. Most starters know their regulars and who would and wouldn't be a good match. Have fun!!!

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to...

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When I first started playing I noticed the biggest slow down was people looking for lost balls.

I am not talking the ball that went a little offline and might be playable or a slice into the next fairway that can be played... I am talking about hopelessly lost or out of bounds balls that you can't play even if you find them.

I decided early on to purchase one type of ball, used, in quantity so I did not slow people down looking for lost balls.

If I hit one and lost it I would drop another and keep moving.

Kelly


www.finescale360.com

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...My experience has been if they don't want to play with you - you probably don't want to play with them...

Excellent point. Guys that get huffy with beginners or high handicappers typically have other personality or life issues and life is too short to spend time near them. They can wallow in their arrogance with somebody else who might be impressed by it. Most players (myself included) are not good enough to get torqued off with beginners.

I've almost always enjoyed playing with beginners, if for no other reason than to watch their facial expressions and share their jubilation when they really get hold of one and make a really nice golf shot. It's fun to watch the game grab them. As mentioned above, just keep moving the ball. Play briskly, but don't rush. If I'm just having one of those holes that's rapidly approaching double digits with no end in sight and the course is busy and I feel I'm holding the rest of the group up, I'll pick up and tend the flag or fix some ball marks until the others are holed out. Good etiquette and a good attitude makes up for a lot of "sins". Most area's have courses that tend to lean towards beginners or the more non-serious players and you may enjoy them more. We've got a little 9-hole municipal course here in Nashville (all par 4's and 3's) that tends to attract a very easy-going, friendly types of golfer of all skill levels. You've probably got something like that out there and a less intimidating atmosphere will do wonders for your game.

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." - Will Rogers 1897-1935

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Excellent point. Guys that get huffy with beginners or high handicappers typically have other personality or life issues and life is too short to spend time near them. They can wallow in their arrogance with somebody else who might be impressed by it. Most players (myself included) are not good enough to get torqued off with beginners.

I agree with this post entirely!

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Excellent point. Guys that get huffy with beginners or high handicappers typically have other personality or life issues and life is too short to spend time near them. They can wallow in their arrogance with somebody else who might be impressed by it. Most players (myself included) are not good enough to get torqued off with beginners.

That's an over-generalization if ever there was one.

Not wanting to play with high handicappers doesn't mean you have personality or "life issues" whatever the hell that is. But if you take the game seriously and want to keep it competitive, I completely understand not wanting some duffer out there ruining the rhythm of the game for your foursome. If that weren't a legitimate concern, the OP wouldn't be making this post asking about it. Personally, all I care about from playing partners is pace of play and attitude. But if someone wants to take it seriously, I understand that it's a legitimate stance on the game, and wouldn't try to force my way on to prove some point about their personality or life issues. To the OP: Ask the group beforehand and be honest. Most people won't care, and you definitely won't want to play with people that don't want you.

I threw my clubs into the lake so it's time to start over...

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That's an over-generalization if ever there was one.

Somebody else ruining your rhythm just because they are a high handicapper is BS. Nobody effects how you play except for you. Saying that someone else ruined your round is just a cop-out unless they are being a downright *******.

 - Joel

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Nobody effects how you play except for you.

Err…no. Lots of variables in how a round can go and one is rhythm. Once a regular, anticipated movement or pace of play is established a playing partner that is struggling can definitely contribute to a person losing rhythm. Dispute this all you want but you will never be able to change my opinion on this.

With that said, a high capper is welcome in my group anytime but I have to agree with MiniMoe that they have to know when to pick-up and move on.

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I try to be welcoming of everyone i play with, no matter skill level. Just dont be rude or obnoxious. Because i was once where they were and i learned to play better by just watching the better players.

But at the same time, i have "paid my dues" on the course so i kind of expect some kind of regard as far as pace of play is concerned. If youre not on the green on 6, pick up. I had to do that when i played with much better players and i expect the same regard now that im a better player, myself.
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Note: This thread is 5447 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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