I Hate Joe Theismann

Watching the preseason game between the Cowboys and the Saints. Listening to Tirico, Kornheiser, and Theismann in the booth, I'm reminded of just how much I hate Joe Theismann. Quite possibly the worst commentator/analyst in any sport. Forever name-dropping, always making grand, sweeping generalizations, contradicting himself from sentence to sentence -- just annoying.

Example: Towards the end of the first half, it was brought up that Reggie Bush aspires to have a career like Barry Sanders and Walter Payton. Tirico commented something like, "It's still early... he's got a long way to go." And then Theismann pops in, "And he's going to need to be surrounded by great players."

Anyone who knows football knows that Sanders and Payton thrived in spite of their teams, not because of the great talent surrounding them. Barry never had anyone of any worth playing QB on his team, and Payton's Bears struggled for years until a magical 1985 season where everything came together. By then, though, he was in the tail end of his career.

Imagine Joe Theismann calling golf:
You know, I was in the player's locker room talking to Dave Pelz, and he told me that Phil Mickelson was knocking on Tiger's door. I had Hank Haney at the house just last week, and he tells me that Tiger isn't worried about Phil. I ran into Sergio's caddy at the supermarket last night, and I think Garcia might be on the brink of something great. But this is all contingent on Tiger Woods... how bad does he want it? Real bad, is the answer. But that's only if he develops a killer instinct, because these guys are a-knockin', and I don't know if Tiger has what it takes to take them on. But he's the greatest of all time. I was playing golf with him last week, and he looked at me, and said, "Joe..."

And so on. And so on.

LOL! That was fantastic!

Very funny!

We here in NY have Michael Kay calling Yankee Games. I cant stand that guy.

The Joe Theismann Drinking Game:

(credit to some other blog)

DRINK WHEN JOE THEISMANN...
1 - Utters the phrase "like a Bill Parcells."
1 - Mentions his own playing career
1 - Points out a flaw in a quarterback's mechanics, whether or not the replay backs it up
1 - Says "What impresses me most about..."
1 - Mentions Notre Dame in any capacity
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
1 - Says "If I'm the [insert team here]..."
2 - Offers a team advice "if they wanna win this game," as if they're on the fence about whether or not they want to win
2 - Refers to his punting career (one punt for one yard in 1985)
2 - Predicts a penalty that goes the other way
Chug - Refers, again, to any historical genius as "Norman Einstein."

I respect anyone who can take a career-ending hit like Joe Theismann did. That being said, he does stink as a commentator. I'm pretty happy about NBC getting Sunday Night Football, that has always been a better day for me. I'll be watching it a lot more than Monday Night Football.

And Erik, Joe Morgan might be even worse than Joe Theismann. Morgan is probably my most disliked commentator in sports. He is an arrogant sucker.

Any respect (as little as that is) earned by getting crushed by LT on MNF gets taken away by the knowledge that while in college, he changed the pronounciation of his last name so that it rhymed with "Heisman." Theismann was originally pronounced

THEEZ-man. Arrogant schmuck.

Yeah, he is absolutely terrible as a commentator, but 90% of them are terrible, right?

I personally can't hate one of the better quarterbacks to play at Notre Dame but obivously I'm a little biased there; I'm sure people hate him for that too...

Imagine a name dropping/ self self promoting contest between Theismann, Morgan, and Johnny Miller. I'm pretty sure I would rather whack myself in the nards with the reverse side of a claw hammer than be stuck listening to that.

If I had announcer scheduling power, I would put the the three of them in the third annual lemon curd pudding eating contest, with Berman as an "on the field" reporter.

he is the Lanny Watkins of football. Just google worst football announcer and he is all over the place. Boomer sucks as well, and Phil Simms takes the cake.

You can toss Paul McGuire into the mix as well. At least you don't have to put up with him AND Theismann this year.

McGuire: LOOK AT THOSE FEET!

I swear McGuire would utter the line above at least 4-5 times on Sunday night. Theismann would follow it up with " You know, speaking of feet...the quarterback position starts with the feet. " A face only a mother could love:

As a life long Redskins fan (yes, I know we suck right now) and a life long Reds fan (yes, I know we suck right now), I like hearing Thiesman and Joe Morgan talk about the good ol days. LOL, the rest of you haters just have to suck it up

I actually have a picture of me, one of my friends and JoeT in my house from when JoeT played in a celebrity golf tournament at Duke. We met and hung out with Joe's wife for a while that day while he played. She was a very nice woman (and she asked Joe to take the picture with a couple of Redskins fans).

BTW, just for the record...JoeT is a pretty bad football announcer!

Elvis

Having spent the better part of JT's career living in Dallas, TX, I have always hated Joe T. He was a whiny baby when he played for the Skins and he has not gotten better with age. If I have to hear that d*** insurance commercial one more time about how he broke his leg, I may puke.

I didn't catch much of MNF last night, but I did catch this part. I was like "WTF" is this guy talking about?!?

As for Kornheiser, he just needs to relax. He tried way too hard to fit in. He just needs to tell it like it is like he does on PTI. I'm not the biggest fan of him, but he isn't too bad.