I Hate Getting Paired Up With "That Guy"

Who is your "that guy"?

I moved to a new area and don't know that many people.  I have a few buddies I play with here and there, but I would say I play about 75% of the time by myself.  That means I get to play with a lot of random people and have realized there is that one guy that drives me insane, to the point where I can't hold it in and I usually end up being really rude to them even though I try very hard not to be.

The swing I've created is due to having very messed up left shoulder.  I would say it's not to far off of a "normal" swing, because I've had people tell me I have a good looking swing.  I have to come more inside and keep my swing close to my body and I stay pain free, If I get outside of that and have a more traditional path to the ball, my shoulder feels like it's going to explode.

The situation goes like this.  I get paired up with a two or threesome and every now and then one of them is "that guy".  It usually starts out halfway/ 2/3rds down the front nine.  I have a normal round going a few bogies, a couple of pars, maybe a birdie if I'm lucky.  Then I'll totally 'F' up a drive and "that guy" will say something like, "you should play your driver up in your stance more."

Awesome!  Thanks for the advice!  I've just watched you slice almost every single one of your tee shots, and I've waited for you to make triple or quadruple bogie on every single hole so far and you want to give me advice?  - Is what I want to say from the get go.  But I never do.  I usually just say I'll try that next time.

But when "that guy" insists on giving me advice, usually the third time I blow up and call him out.  He's usually the reason for the third shanked shot, because he's already pissed me off with the first two swing tips.  You haven't even made one par all day!!!  Why do you insist on giving me advice after I hit a few bad shots?  I don't even like unsolicited advice from players that are far better than me.  I don't give anyone advice that I don't know, unless they ask what I think.  I don't know what physical limitations anyone has, and I'm not a PGA instructor.  I don't even give my regular playing partners advice unless they are really struggling and it's because I see they are doing something totally different than I'm use to seeing them do.

You're not "that guy"  You have a handicap of 10, so you're not chunking every other shot or posting 7's and 8's on every hole.

Yeah, I get you.  I don't mind little stuff like that.  I guess I just don't like it from someone that can't break 100.

The situation you're talking about isn't bad at all.

I too very much dislike getting unsolicited advice from virtual strangers while playing (or on the range for that matter!), particularly if they aren't much better than me.  But even if they are better than me, I feel like it is rude, even if well intentioned.  I try to play by the Golden Rule, I don't give people advice and would appreciate reciprocity.

I agree that if you have a friend you play with often and notice them doing something way different than usual you might mention it without offending.  The key there is "friend" really, presumably you would then know if s/he would take the advice gladly or not.  If I was really aching to discuss a new acquaintance's swing flaws, I think I'd buy 'em a beer or ice tea after the round and then offer to show them something over on the driving range that might help next time.

There are ways to give advice, and ways not to.  The most important is that you must know your audience.  Are they receptive to it?  Do they have a physical limitation that prevents them from swinging how you think they should?  Are they content to shoot 100 and don't want to have to work at a recreational activity?  If you don't know all of these answers and more......keep your mouth shut.

If you just can't help yourself, then you might want to start off with a statement like, "You know, I struggled with that same problem for years until someone suggested I try ...........".   And then just leave it alone.  If he is receptive he will inquire further or try it.  If not, he really doesn't care.

But IMO, unless you are a scratch golfer or better you have little room to give advice.  I'm an 8.5 and would never give any advice unless it was to a very good friend.  I have gotten to 8.5 by figuring out my own swing and adjusting as needed based upon an aging and abused back, knees and shoulders.  An instructor would cringe to see my driver swing but I hit it straight and in play giving up about 30yrds but I'm good with that.  My greenside saves my game.  My game is not impressive to watch but people are always surprised when the scores are totaled because I don't wow them with 300yrd drives or 30 foot putts.  I just play smart par/bogey golf.

It's hard enough to play golf with strangers for most people.  A bogey plus golfer will already be self conscious so just go play golf, have fun, don't talk shop(work) and don't try to fix what "you" think needs fixed on another guys swing on the course.  If you can't do that, then maybe you need to examine why "you" are getting paired up with stranger and not playing with your own foursome.

I think you are that guy.  Never, never give advice to someone unless they give you an opening.  The way you described the first scenario the woman or (hacking chick) didn't want your advice.  You should just accept that and play your round not glare back at her when you do something good.  She had every right to let you know that she did not want any more advice.

How would you feel if after you thinned your ball O.B. she told you "you know you should try and hit about 1" behind the ball in the sand."  If it was me it would piss me off more than I was already.  I know that.  I was thinking I had a shot at birdie and now I have to hole the ball from the sand just to make par.

Sorry if I came of harsh or rude but my mother played for 20+ years and would constantly get swing advice from strangers.  I shoot about the same scores as her but have never gotten unsolicited advice even though I am sure a few good tips could make me better at the short game and putting, but I don't think any tip could help my mother drive the ball 200.  It was also usually the foot wedge guy, or the guy that drops his ball 30 yards past his longest drive of the day when he can't find the ball that was quickest to give advice.

I've said it before on here and I'll say it again.  People on here seem to get upset/offended/disctracted by the littlest things.

I don't like it when I'm paired up with a guy who won't talk the entire round.

I don't like it when I'm paired up with a guy who tries to talk to me.

I don't like it when someone tries to give me advice.

I don't like it when someone isn't willing to take my advice.

I don't like it when guys take to long on the course.

I don't like it when guys go to fast and rush me.

If so many things bother so many people I don't see how anyone ever has any fun.

If someone offers you advice in the future, simply say that you will try it out on your next range visit and go on.  By doing this you have acknowledged his advice and he'll probably be happy.  Then it is up to you whether or not you heed his advice and try it out at the range.

As far as only taking advice from people better than me I am not a subscriber.  I have had people who play worse than me (due to physical limitiations that you mentioned) offer very sound advice that I tried and got good results.  I have also gotten advice from scratch golfers that made absolutely no sense and even worse they didn't do themselves.

I am probably around a 25 HC due to only starting less than a year ago.  However, if I walked up to you and told you that you needed to keep your head still, weight forward, and have a flat left wrist at impact, what would you say?

Not sure why you'd give her the glare. You were the one giving unsolicited advice. Nothing personal but when I'm playing with strangers, I just want to enjoy the day and not have somebody I've never met before try to "fix me".

Still don't understand what she had to do with it. Also don't understand why you couldn't just enjoy your first eagle without having to stare somebody down, especially since you were the one who created the tension in the first place by giving unsolicited, unwanted, unappreciated advice.

I know a guy like "that guy", he invited me out to play once. Not knowing he was "that guy", I accepted.

I used to be a decent player in my early 20's, but a knee reconstruction, marriage, a few kids, you know...life got in the way of golf.

So, I had just started up again when he invited me out. I was a bit nervous, playing my old stomping grounds again and knowing how I used to play the course.

First 2 holes, think I was at 2 over and I snapped hooked my drive on 3. "that guy" started it up ..."I think your clearing your hips to early..."

I gave him a quick smile,"Thanks Haney, what did you get on that par 5? 8 or was it 9?" The worst part is, he knows he's at a 20 ghin, but talks like he's a 3.

He did not get the hint as he kept at it even when I was obviously ignoring him. He ruined the round for me, waste of $60 and 5 hours of my life.

Needless to say, I won't golf him again.

On the other hand, I play with a scratch golfer and ASKED him "If you see something, let me know."

You are that guy.  How you play is irrelevant.  Unsolicited swing advice is never appropriate.

I gave unsolicited advice one time. There was a guy at the club I belonged to that I had seen many times over a couple of years and every single shot he hit was a HUGE slice, usually out of play. He didn't join any of our games even though our games were open to anybody that had $10 and wanted to play. He probably just thought he wasn't good enough (which was normal) so I had never actually played with him.

This day when I got to the course none of my friends were there yet so I decided to play a few holes before they got there. As I got to the first tee box he was hitting his tee shot and sure enough he sliced it over into a creek. Since he was young and looked fairly athletic, and obviously liked to play, and really didn't have that bad of a swing, I thought there was no reason for him to not be better than he was.

I asked him if he was trying to hit those slices and he said no but he couldn't fix it. Then I told him that he was setting up to hit a slice in every way and swinging out to in across his target line. He asked me to show him what I meant so I did. I had him hit a few balls with a square stance and a square club face and he hit a couple of pretty good balls. The last one even had a little draw.

He thanked me and said he had never hit a ball that good before.

Later in the day as my friends and I were playing our round I saw him on a tee box nearby so I watched to see how he was doing. To my dismay he had already gone right back to the same old set up he always had and sliced the tee shot OB and out across the railroad tracks. I just scratched my head and have never had the urge to help somebody since then if they didn't ask.

Never appreciated? Did u read it...kid is actually a better player than me. His dad started them young.. his older brother shot s 63 in a tournament. I think his older bro is 17. In golf everone but you sees your problems. Did I say he thanked me? I played with him once before don't know his name but see him at the same track practicing. He almost birdied the last three holes after I told him. He hit it close on one hole the other 2 holes just a great putter. He will be in the 60'$ soon no doubt about it. .I definitely don't give everyone advice! especially if I see no talent