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Husband Chooses Golf Over Marriage


Lonely one
Note: This thread is 762 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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12 hours ago, krupa said:

Golf forum isn't the correct path

Is more likely desperation or last resource. I guess she talked this topic with a lot a people before posting here. Maybe looking advice from golf freaks like us! haha

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  • 1 year later...

Your husband sounds like he has aspergers.  If so, from the way he's expressing himself, he will not change, because it's difficult for him to put himself in your place. As suggested by some, life's too short to be miserable. Why should it be on you only to change things. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If he's not interested in the marriage, and that's what it sounds like since he prefers to spend his free time with others, then maybe it's time to move on. Why do people do these things to themselves? You may be missing out on a great person out there or a wonderful life.  It really doesn't sound like this guy is worth it.

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  • 10 months later...

I’ve gone through this. I quit bringing it up. I do need to try to golf a little... I started taking more time for myself and that has helped. The situation has jaded me... my husband is not my best friend. I quit caring and trying and it has made life more enjoyable. I don’t want to divorce.. I also asked for an open marriage but was turned down. 

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I could also post this in the thread about the lowest drop in your handicap, and the answer would be “my mother in law”.  She has a hold on my wife that is awful to watch.  Quite frankly what it does to me and my kids is awful and I’ve thought about divorce many times.  Now or down the road.  I could write for hours with the stories, they are brutal.

WRT my handicap, I couldn’t be around my mil and because my wife was weak I got shuffled to the golf course a lot.  I went from 14 to 7 and change because of it.

wrt the emotional issues, I dived into golf (and other things like Netflix and other time wasters) because I had an issue with my spouse that I felt couldn’t be resolved.  That leads to separation.  Whatever the issue and whomever is causing or reacting to it, the answer is communication.  If there can’t be communication then it’s best to look at the situation and decide how better off people are.  There’s no right answer for whether to stay or go because every situation is different.  But you need to decide for yourself how you want your life to be.  And if your spouse can’t get onboard, then you have to decide how you are going to handle it. 
 

most people hide in other things because they don’t want to deal with the reality of their lives.   Whomever has done whatever, an honest appraisal needs to be done of the situation and don’t sell yourself short.   Two posters here are basically describing a situation where their spouse is non responsive.  That can’t be swept under the rug,   You need to have some honesty with the person you live with.  Confront until their is discussion and go from there. 

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—Adam

 

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If you are doing something that takes a lot of time and you want to bring it into a marriage, you better have an understanding before you take the vows.  I was already a member at a club before I met my wife. While courting, I made it pretty clear that I spend a lot of time on golf and she made it clear the she spends a lot of time on her dogs. It was an easy transition for both of us and, now, I don't mind having multiple dogs and she has tried golf on occasion. She can really golf a ball but she will never commit fully so she probably won't ever be any good at it score wise. The dogs? When I go home I am in their world and at least they tolerate me.

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Bill M

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Wow this thread is like an episode of Dr. Phil. All I can add is that sometimes people are incompatible. If you have an issue with the amount of time your significant other is home, or not at home, then have a talk. If you cannot come to some sort of a compromise then it may be time to move on. Some people need their space and some people need constant companionship, and those two types of people do not make a good mix.

I play golf, my wife knew that when we met and got married. I will not stop playing nor am I willing to even cut down. We came to a compromise that I would  predominantly play in the early mornings (which a prefer anyway) or when she is away working (approx 10 days a month). It works for the most part, she still grumbles on occasion, but I don't really give a shit. Like I said, she knew I was a golf nut when we met.

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Danny    In my :ping: Hoofer Tour golf bag on my :clicgear: 8.0 Cart

Driver:   :pxg: 0311 Gen 5  X-Stiff.                        Irons:  :callaway: 4-PW APEX TCB Irons 
3 Wood: :callaway: Mavrik SZ Rogue X-Stiff                            Nippon Pro Modus 130 X-Stiff
3 Hybrid: :callaway: Mavrik Pro KBS Tour Proto X   Wedges: :vokey:  50°, 54°, 60° 
Putter: :odyssey:  2-Ball Ten Arm Lock        Ball: :titleist: ProV 1

 

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, NM Golf said:

Some people need their space and some people need constant companionship, and those two types of people do not make a good mix.

The more life experience I get the more this rings true. Healthy relationships are not about "let's make a deal" and are more about supporting each others priorities. 

Yesterday was a great example. I get Honda tickets every year on Friday through our community sponsorship. I have taken my lady before, and she enjoyed the Bear Trap especially when the birdies fall and the $5 dollar drinks ensue. This year she had to work and without skipping a beat she told me to take a friend that would enjoy the actual golf more than she would and that we would meet up later. No guilt, no head trip, no bartering, just have a great time.  

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Cobra LTDx 10.5* | Big Tour 15.5*| Rad Tour 18.5*  | Titleist U500 4-23* | T100 5-P | Vokey SM7 50/8* F, 54/10* S, SM8 58/10* S | Scotty Cameron Squareback No. 1 | Vice Pro Plus  

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Note: This thread is 762 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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