Bad attitude, bad behavior, bad day golfing.

[Fourputt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fourputt

What else are you supposed to tell him?  We aren't psychologists, we're golfers.  If he wants therapy then he came to the wrong place.

It's time to learn to man up and admit that you have no business throwing a temper tantrum just because you hit a bad shot or two.  Life is full of far worse tragedies than that.  Something that has been written many times is that one significant part of the game of golf is learning to manage and deal with adversity without losing your cool.  It's something that most golfers have to figure out for themselves.

The only thing I can tell a player with anger issues is to learn to grin and bear it.  If that doesn't work then I figure there are lots of other players who actually know how to have fun on the course, and I'll seek them out instead.

I disagree. It is not an either or proposition. It's not "be a jerk to him or tell him he is awesome."

One option would be not to post anything in response.

That would be a rather empty discussion then, wouldn't it?  At least I'm not calling him or anyone else a jerk.

It's not uncommon to tell a child or a teen who has screwed up that he's old enough to know better than to do whatever he did.  I don't see anything wrong with having the same reaction to a golfer who can't keep his head during adverse moments in a round of golf.  Time to grow up and learn to behave in a civilized manner.

[ghalfaire]

My story is I was born with a bad temper and a short fuze and it cost me some in my early life.  So when I took up golf many years ago I was not very controlled on the course.  Then one day I wrapped a 9I around a tree and it occurred to me that I wasn't getting paid to play and if I was  not enjoying it why do it.  So I took a significant hiatus from golf.  I don't remember how many years but more than 10.  When I did decide to return to I did so with a new attitude and knowing I would either keep my temper under control & have fun or give it up.  Maybe when you know what you're getting into or maybe be a few years older helped, but for whatever reason I am now able to count 10 after a bad shot or an unfortunate bounce.  I read some so when I hit a bad shot I just think to myself "how unlike you to do that" or "life just comes with some bad bounces".  Then I go and play.   I would like to say I never say a bad word but that would be a lie.  But what I don't do is make my playing partners uncomfortable with prolonged outbursts and actions like slamming a club on the turf or wrapping a 9I around a tree.  I suppose it is easier to do when you're older but it is something I wished I had leaned to do much earlier in my life, both on and off the course.

[Duff McGee]

That would be a rather empty discussion then, wouldn't it?  At least I'm not calling him or anyone else a jerk.   It's not uncommon to tell a child or a teen who has screwed up that he's old enough to know better than to do whatever he did.  I don't see anything wrong with having the same reaction to a golfer who can't keep his head during adverse moments in a round of golf.  Time to grow up and learn to behave in a civilized manner.

Personally I would much rather someone call me a jerk than to tell me I need to grow up. Telling someone to grow up is extremely condescending, at least to me. But I hold no ill will towards you, it's just an observation that I think we should have been a little more supportive or just not said anything in this case. Some people have temper problems when they play golf and he admitted it was wrong. No need to pile on. Like I said, if he came on here bragging about it then go right ahead. But don't kick someone that is confessing. We are supposed to be a helpful and welcoming community, not one where we scold people who are apologetic.

[gregsandiego]

Yes but reasonable adults learn to control their anger.  And they learn when it's appropriate to let off some steam and when it isn't.  Sorry to say be golf isn't life and death.  Most players learn that early on, and they learn to temper their temper tantrums.  Those who don't learn that lose a lot of friends and wind up playing a lot of golf by themselves.

There were a couple of guys in our men's club who had control issues, and they had trouble finding anyone to play with.  One was a club thrower, and while he was a bit dangerous, I tried to stay on his good side because he was always offloading nearly new clubs for cheap because "they didn't work right".  This guy would go through 4 drivers a year, and the heaviest use they got was helicoptering up the fairway.

Totally agreed. We're not getting paid to play golf we're PAYING to play golf. Damn if makes you feel bad quit.

[mcanadiens]

The point is that it is very hard for some of us to be "reasonable adults". It's not that we don't want to be, we just really struggle with it. I guess it would seem a bit odd if golf were the only facet of someone's life where they have temper issues. That guy probably ought to quit. Personally, I throw a fit when my shoe comes untied, when I drop something I was holding in my hand and anytime I lose anything (even if its not particularly important). It's been that way since the earliest time I can remember and I've had to work at it. I truly believe that the challenge of dealing with anger on the golf course actually helps me work on my temper in general. Golf is an inherently frustrating game, and dealing with my emotions on the golf course makes it seem easy in ordinary circumstances.

[Strandly]

I simply realize I am not good enough to get mad... yet. B-)