Wife just "approved" of every-other-week tee times!!!!!

[Gresh24]

Originally Posted by Chris Stewart

It's not the expense and it's not because folks "can't bear to be away from their wife" for 4 hours on Saturday morning. People have said it time and time again in this thread, that it's about having all hands on deck to help out with young children because it's stressful to be alone as a new parent with a baby or a more experienced parent with multiple kids. I have three myself (4, 2, and 1 in age). I don't know the age of your children, but I can tell you my house is crazy town from 6am to 7pm daily. I don't think it's fair to ask my wife to do that alone 3 days during the week, work 12 hour shifts the other 2 days of the week, and then do it again for ~5-6 hours on a weekend each and every week. I don't it's fair to expect that. Call it whatever you want, but that's how I feel.

I don't "ask for permission", I talk to my wife to work it into our schedule. I don't just walk in and tell my wife I'm going to play golf this weekend. In fact, I asked her what our weekend looked like this weekend so a friend and I could get out for 18. We figured Monday would be best, perhaps leaving about an hour before naps were getting started, so her time of being "on" is minimized. Doesn't that kind of respect make sense?

Yes, this.  Obviously some 'part time' dads don't have any idea, or care, what is involved.

My gosh, I know divorced dads that spend more time with their kids than what some on here possibly could be.

I guess we have no nutsack Chris, and don't know how to just order the squaw to do everything.

[Apoc81]

Originally Posted by Doctorfro

Spoken like someone who hasn't been married very long nor has multiple children in diapers at the same time.  Come back in a few years and see if that position holds up.  Oh, and enjoy your golf whilst you can.

No, spoken like someone who realizes that its not hard to find 5 hours to play golf. Its ridiculous to say anyone playing 3x a week isn't spending time with their family. It just isnt true. Its very, very easy to squeeze in two rounds a week and still have  TONS of time for family. I know, I do it.

[Doctorfro]

Originally Posted by Apoc81

No, spoken like someone who realizes that its not hard to find 5 hours to play golf. Its ridiculous to say anyone playing 3x a week isn't spending time with their family. It just isnt true. Its very, very easy to squeeze in two rounds a week and still have  TONS of time for family. I know, I do it.

So you've been married a long time.  And you have several children under the age of six.  We obviously don't know your situation but if you have multiple kids and each kid has sports, dance, scouts or any other extracurriculur activity you'll find that time gets eaten up with that quickly, not to mention just simply hanging out with them or even taking your spouse out on a date now and then.  And that doesn't even take into account if you're involved in a church.  Trust me, I have met sooooo many avid golfers who had to take a redirect in their priorities as their families grew and grew up.  So like I said, come back in a few years and give us a report.  Best wishes.

[Dave H]

I suppose when your wife breast feeds, she needs your hand on her nipple........to help out?  Sheesh.......there are some pathetic excuses not to play golf in this forum.

I play plenty of golf and I neither ask for permission nor do I declare to my wife what I'm doing. How is this possible you ask? It's really simple. We talk like adults and arrange our schedules around raising our children, our time together, and the individual pursuits we each have a passion for. This is not rocket science - relationships are a two way street in which both people care about the other. I'm surprised how many of you sound like you have no respect for your wives. I don't know if most of it is false Internet bravado but if not, get a clue, sheesh. OP - sounds like you're doing the right thing and you have a solid relationship with your wife. And congratulations on becoming a father. It just gets better and better as time goes by.

[golfaddiction]

It's all about setting priorities.  You have to find hours in the day for things that are important to you (family & golf), and cut back on things that aren't important.

[mdl]

I play plenty of golf and I neither ask for permission nor do I declare to my wife what I'm doing. How is this possible you ask? It's really simple. We talk like adults and arrange our schedules around raising our children, our time together, and the individual pursuits we each have a passion for. This is not rocket science - relationships are a two way street in which both people care about the other. I'm surprised how many of you sound like you have no respect for your wives. I don't know if most of it is false Internet bravado but if not, get a clue, sheesh. OP - sounds like you're doing the right thing and you have a solid relationship with your wife. And congratulations on becoming a father. It just gets better and better as time goes by.

Exactly. The choice is not between always doing whatever the hell you feel like this second and being a pathetic slave to your wife. How about having an adult relationship where both partners desires are important and, imagine this, spending time with your wife is actually one of your priorities as well? Shocking. And this can still result in playing lots of golf. Double shocking.

[sean_miller]

Originally Posted by Apoc81

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctorfro

Spoken like someone who hasn't been married very long nor has multiple children in diapers at the same time.  Come back in a few years and see if that position holds up.  Oh, and enjoy your golf whilst you can.

No, spoken like someone who realizes that its not hard to find 5 hours to play golf. Its ridiculous to say anyone playing 3x a week isn't spending time with their family. It just isnt true. Its very, very easy to squeeze in two rounds a week and still have  TONS of time for family. I know, I do it.

Three 18-hole rounds per week would make sense if my friends wanted to golf at dawn or twilight, but they want to play during the prime time daylight hours and right now that would be selfish. People can look down their nose at people not being passionate enough about golf, but considering all the passions my wife is giving up right now, cutting back on golf is low hanging fruit.

[k-troop]

Man, this thread is polarizing.

I scrape time out of my schedule for golf; the wife isn't exactly thrilled about it, but she knows how important golf is to me.  I owe who I am today in large part to golf.  All of my best friends, including our daughter's godfather, started out as golf buddies.  Golf has enriched my life in many, many ways.

I manage about 5 or 6 rounds a month; once a week is the standard, with an extra round thrown in on a long weekend, and mabye two or three extra rounds thrown in if we have family/friends visiting or go on vacation.  Most weeks (more than half) my round is a sunrise walk-on at the local track that puts me home by 10:00 am.  Once a month I'll play a round with an actual tee time with a buddy, and that typically takes a bit longer.

People that I know who have children wonder how I can play as much as I do, and I'm not averaging 10 rounds a month like some here.  These guys usually have other hobbies as well, though:  hunting, fishing, tinkering on their car, whatever.  I have one hobby, and only one hobby:  golf.  It's the fourth most important thing in my life, honestly, behind my family, career, and close friends.  Because of that, my wife understands.

We also make up for it by having quality time during the week.  I make sure we have a nice, sit-down dinner together at least 3 times a week.  I love to cook, and my wife loves my cooking.  When we're together in the evenings, we're "together"--not one person zoned out in front of the TV while the other is mindlessly trolling the internet.  It works for us.

I guess different things work for different couples.  It's completely inappropriate, however, to judge someone's priorities, or say they're subordinating their family to golf, if you don't live with them.

[burtonda]

Originally Posted by k-troop

I guess different things work for different couples.  It's completely inappropriate, however, to judge someone's priorities, or say they're subordinating their family to golf, if you don't live with them.

If this insightful post by k-troop doesn't end this thread then nothing will.  Well said, sir.

[mdl]

Originally Posted by k-troop

Man, this thread is polarizing.

I scrape time out of my schedule for golf; the wife isn't exactly thrilled about it, but she knows how important golf is to me.  I owe who I am today in large part to golf.  All of my best friends, including our daughter's godfather, started out as golf buddies.  Golf has enriched my life in many, many ways.

I manage about 5 or 6 rounds a month; once a week is the standard, with an extra round thrown in on a long weekend, and mabye two or three extra rounds thrown in if we have family/friends visiting or go on vacation.  Most weeks (more than half) my round is a sunrise walk-on at the local track that puts me home by 10:00 am.  Once a month I'll play a round with an actual tee time with a buddy, and that typically takes a bit longer.

People that I know who have children wonder how I can play as much as I do, and I'm not averaging 10 rounds a month like some here.  These guys usually have other hobbies as well, though:  hunting, fishing, tinkering on their car, whatever.  I have one hobby, and only one hobby:  golf.  It's the fourth most important thing in my life, honestly, behind my family, career, and close friends.  Because of that, my wife understands.

We also make up for it by having quality time during the week.  I make sure we have a nice, sit-down dinner together at least 3 times a week.  I love to cook, and my wife loves my cooking.  When we're together in the evenings, we're "together"--not one person zoned out in front of the TV while the other is mindlessly trolling the internet.  It works for us.

I guess different things work for different couples.  It's completely inappropriate, however, to judge someone's priorities, or say they're subordinating their family to golf, if you don't live with them.

Well said.  I admit I'm guilty of judging a bit.  I just react really negatively to what strikes me as an undertone, in many posts, of misogyny and lack of respect for women in general and the poster's wife in particular, and a concomitant impugning of the "manliness" of other posters who don't share a similar lack of respect for their wives.