The "I can't believe I'm THAT stupid" thread......

[David in FL]

First time ever......

Drooling over a nice little 25 foot uphill chip.  The kind you re ally want to make.  Looking at the cup and just brushing the turf to get a feel for the speed and yep, I accidentally HIT THE DAMN BALL!  Replaced the ball under penalty and promptly proceed to blast it 6 feet past the hole.  Of course I miss the putt coming back.

Birdie thoughts to double reality in about 90 seconds flat.  Good grief.

Please share yours and at least try to convince me that I'm not the biggest goober ever to play this game......

[Meltdwhiskey]

I thought you could replace the ball if you were not actually taking a swing at it.  Not true rules guys?

[David in FL]

Originally Posted by Meltdwhiskey

I thought you could replace the ball if you were not actually taking a swing at it.  Not true rules guys?

Yep, you replace it, but under penalty of one stroke for having moved it.

[Meltdwhiskey]

Ahhh.  Didn't know that. I've only done it once ever and back then I didn't know the rule at all.  Went to where it was (in the weeds) and played it as it lied.  Felt really silly though.

[colin007]

Ahhh.  Didn't know that. I've only done it once ever and back then I didn't know the rule at all.  Went to where it was (in the weeds) and played it as it lied.  Felt really silly though.

But you can replace it in the tee with no penalty.

[boogielicious]

I've never done that one, but I have teed off to the wrong green.  There is a course in Northern Kentucky that I played 30 year ago.  The hole looked like a par 3, so I teed off and landed on the green. My playing partners did the same.  We were all wrong. It was a dog leg par 4.

[Golfingdad]

I posted this in another thread yesterday so you may have read it already ...

Hit a drive near OB, found it laying about 10" away from the fence (left of the fairway and I'm right handed) with a tree directly towards the hole, so no shot at even advancing it.  Somehow, my brain comes to the conclusion that it's a good idea to hit it backwards (towards the tee) to get it away from the fence, rather than just take an unplayable right there. Best case scenario is that I'm lying 2 somewhere further away than I would be had I taken the unplayable.  But what actually happens?  I hit it just like I mean to and it goes right where I aimed, but then takes the slope right back up against the same fence 20 yards further back.  This time it's against the fence so I wise up and take the unplayable.  And the best part is that as I was explaining to my playing partners how I managed an 8 on that hole, that is the point when I realized what I had done.

[colin007]

I've done that before too, GD... Taking an unplayable is sort of like admitting defeat... It's like saying, I'm not smart enough, good enough, or man enough to make this shot. And of course it's just the opposite... Your're too stupid to just take your medicine...

[MS256]

I'm sure it won't make the OP feel better but I've done the same thing. Even worse I've done it twice with a wedge and once with my putter making a practice stroke.

I guess for me it took three times to wise up and learn to make practice swings away from the ball.

[Spyder]

If it makes any of you feel better:

So I hit my ball just inches short of what my group knows is typically a flowing stream of water that ends up feeding into a large lake. So it was July and we had a stretch of high 80s for nearly 2 weeks. As we're approaching my ball in the cart, we see my ball roll down into this dry stream, which separates the fairway from the green. We were about 40 yards away from my ball when we saw it disappear and I started dropping F bombs thinking there was water in it and I just got royally screwed.

Now I walk up laughing because there's no water and it's totally "dry" and I still have an unfavorable, but playable lie. I step down into the stream, carefully, feeling out how mushy this thing would be. The first step on the edge was pretty firm. I take a deep breath and walk forward and BLURP! Down to my F"ing thigh in smelly, rancid, black, oil looking mud. I had black shorts, white shoes, white shirt, white hat, white glove, white socks on. Needless to say, I was also stuck from the suction of this play-doh like substance which smelled like a thousand dogs took turns dropping deuces in it.

My dad runs over and my buddy as well, they both grab an arm and start helping me out and you can hear the vacuum suction not letting go. After one big SLURP, I'm out and realize I"m missing a shoe.

I had to drive to the damn club house with half of my body clean, and the other half shoeless, sockless and muddy. I pull up to what appeared to be an outing at the pavilion as well as I'm drying myself off and here comes the laughter and jokes.

Man I was pissed but laughing at the same time and just drove home with every intent of finishing a bottle of Jack. My wife took one look at me and started buckling over, laughing at me, to which I responded "Don't... even...ask".

I don't mean to 1^ up you or anything, but the Dunce hat belongs to me brother....

[jamo]

Every time I read a post of mine more than 5 months old, I think, "I can't believe I'm THAT stupid!"

[Golfingdad]

Originally Posted by Spyder

If it makes any of you feel better:

So I hit my ball just inches short of what my group knows is typically a flowing stream of water that ends up feeding into a large lake. So it was July and we had a stretch of high 80s for nearly 2 weeks. As we're approaching my ball in the cart, we see my ball roll down into this dry stream, which separates the fairway from the green. We were about 40 yards away from my ball when we saw it disappear and I started dropping F bombs thinking there was water in it and I just got royally screwed.

Now I walk up laughing because there's no water and it's totally "dry" and I still have an unfavorable, but playable lie. I step down into the stream, carefully, feeling out how mushy this thing would be. The first step on the edge was pretty firm. I take a deep breath and walk forward and BLURP! Down to my F"ing thigh in smelly, rancid, black, oil looking mud. I had black shorts, white shoes, white shirt, white hat, white glove, white socks on. Needless to say, I was also stuck from the suction of this play-doh like substance which smelled like a thousand dogs took turns dropping deuces in it.

My dad runs over and my buddy as well, they both grab an arm and start helping me out and you can hear the vacuum suction not letting go. After one big SLURP, I'm out and realize I"m missing a shoe.

LOL ... I soon as I got to the "blurp" part, my very first thought was of your shoe coming off when you pull your leg out!  I've stepped in that type of goop (usually while fishing, not golfing) and lost a shoe after only going in ankle deep.

Originally Posted by jamo

Every time I read a post of mine more than 5 months old, I think, "I can't believe I'm THAT stupid!"

Yes, but you gotta look at the glass as half full.  It just means that your current self is THAT MUCH smarter than your 5 months ago self.

[trackster]

I have no problem chipping out of a tree or the like to a better spot even if I have to chip backwards.  My friend however thinks that it is a wasted penalty.  The other day he was buried well under an evergreen.  I told him that he was stupid to try to hit it and just to take an unplayable penalty.  He pushes the branches away and situates himself into the tree.  Takes a 3 wood hack at it..swing and a miss.  Pushes a few more branches away and takes another 3 wood hack.. swing and a miss.  Gets out of the tree, grabs his backup driver.  Pushes himself back into the tree.  Tries to take a back swing and knocks a branch off the tree (2 stroke penalty).  Finally takes a mighty hack with his driver and gets the ball back to the fairway.  Thank god for ESC.

The funny thing is that he found a tree on a later hole, did the same circus act and hit his ball to under another tree.  Another ESC hole.

[David in FL]

Originally Posted by trackster

I have no problem chipping out of a tree or the like to a better spot even if I have to chip backwards.  My friend however thinks that it is a wasted penalty.  The other day he was buried well under an evergreen.  I told him that he was stupid to try to hit it and just to take an unplayable penalty.  He pushes the branches away and situates himself into the tree.  Takes a 3 wood hack at it..swing and a miss.  Pushes a few more branches away and takes another 3 wood hack.. swing and a miss.  Gets out of the tree, grabs his backup driver.  Pushes himself back into the tree.  Tries to take a back swing and knocks a branch off the tree (2 stroke penalty).  Finally takes a mighty hack with his driver and gets the ball back to the fairway.  Thank god for ESC.

The funny thing is that he found a tree on a later hole, did the same circus act and hit his ball to under another tree.  Another ESC hole.

Absolutely true.....

Couple of weeks ago I left my drive in a horrible spot, on the down-slope 6 inches in front of a pond.  No stance at all.  Should have simply taken my medicine and dropped.  Instead tried a miracle shot that, if I had pulled it off, would have still left me short and hitting 3 into the green.  Of course I put the ball into the drink and now was hitting 4 from the same spot I should have been hitting 3 from.  Stuffed an 8 iron and made a GREAT bogey.  Would've been an even better par had I just used my head.

BTW, it's worth noting that I never said that the example in my OP was the dumbest thing I ever did with a golfclub in my hand.  I got skilz......

[dbuck]

Last week I was playing a short par 5. I was beside the green, not pin high but only 3 yards left of the green, in two, ball in the rough but sitting up, but 2 bunkers between me and the pin. I could have used a pitching wedge, or even an 8 iron and popped the ball on the green, but no, I had to try a flop over both bunkers with a sand wedge, and a sand wedge I don't use that much. I "flopped" alright! I quit on the shot and put it in the first bunker next to the lip. With my next shot I barely got out of the trap. Then made a wonderful chip --for my 5th shot-- to about 8 feet from where I was able to get in 2 for a wonderful 7 on a 456 yard par 5. Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory right there!

[Lash]

In the "best shot" thread I posted about a par 5 where I cut the corner and got in a great spot after my drive. My second shot I had to lay up around a pond, and was looking at about 60-70 yards to the green, where I could putt for birdie. For some reason I read the distance very wrong, hit my PW, and hit the best PW shot I have ever hit. It sailed over the green, hit the cart path, and bounced to the left...down a 20 foot hill to the driving range. Had to hack it back up the hill through some trees, and by the time I got there I ended up with a 10...after being within 70 yards after 2.